I spent the better half of yesterday cheating on my spouse which was unfortunate because it caused me to miss this wonderful FBN segment on the “business of infidelity.” According to Todd Morris, Brickhouse Security CEO, “cheating season” begins just after Christmas, picks up steam in January, and comes to a head on February 13. That’s where he comes in—Morris sells a product called the Semen Detector, for “spouses who just don’t know.” Fifty percent of the time you’re just being paranoid; what Brickhouse is really offering, for the bargain basement price of $49.95, is “a good night’s sleep.” Cavuto’s questions are excellent: “What must it feel like for the person being spied on?” “What does this say about the relationship if the suspicion is such that you need to look for foreign DNA?” “Where were you last night, Todd?” His response at the end to Morris’s reflection that it’s sort of bittersweet that things have been so lucrative also cannot be topped: “That’s sad, that’s sad. But, your business is booming as a result, so…” Every cloud, Todd. Every cloud.
Infidelity happens – don’t let it happen to you! [Brickhouse Security]
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Since today is apparently the day to post FBN videos, can the video of Happy Hour host Rebecca dressed in authetic Year of the Rate wardrobe be posted for all to enjoy (and laugh)? Or how about some videos of hot girls in bikinis, lingerie, or nothing involving finance or administrative work (read horny secretaries) so I can see if that semen detector really works.
Oh shits. Bonus discussions today.
Dwight holds the black light on the bed that Michael has to sleep in, in the hotel room.
Dwight Schrute: That’s either blood, urine or semen.
Michael Scott: Oh, God. I hope it’s urine
If you shined the “semen detector” in Tim Sykes office, you’d probably need a welder’s sunglass to protect your eyes
The Observer: And you know this how? I think I’m going to be sick. Is that what he means when he goes ‘long and then ‘short’ during the trading day? Is that why he’s almost always short? Ewwww….
Well, if you’re not putting semen in her, she has every right to seek sex elsewhere.
This system is totally faulty. For the road warriors, it is hard to walk into a Holiday Inn without slogging through piles of jizz. Put a blacklight on that shit if you don’t believe me.
Flip flops bitches, flip flops.
There is a reason they call the top layer of the bed a “cum-forter”
Is CSI a generic term or does the TV series have proprietary rights to that? Either way, it makes the kit look a bit cheesy.
Cheating with your left hand or your right?
Cavuto’s such a fucking stud. He always looks like he’s contemplating an intense chess move.
Cavuto vs. Rza? Tiger style.
CSI? HaHa!! That would be Cum Scene Investigators?
[Link saucy and maybe NSFW...]
Hi Gang, I admit I personally used the SemenSPY kit, it was amazing just like they said. I knew in just a few seconds. It did come out positive like I expected and my spouse had no choice but to admit it then. I now at least have piece of mind. It does state it is made by a prior law enforcement detective right on the box. It was the best one I could find and I found great postings about it all over the web, now I know why.