Former* hedge fund manager John Devaney, pictured here with the yacht he had to sell several months back when United Capital Markets lost a boatload (heh) of money, threw a lavish party at the Venetian in Vegas this week for a bunch of finance guys in town for the 5th annual conference of the American Securitization Forum. No expense was spared, and JD even managed to get the Blue Man Group to perform, which was no easy feat, considering Tobias Fünke’s jam-packed schedule. Now I know what you’re thinking—isn’t it sort of crazy for a guy who had to not only sell his yacht but his helicopter, waterfront mansion in Miami and ski lodge in Aspen, as well, to spend the last of his life’s savings feting himself for being a huge loser**? Yeah, it’s kind of nuts. But it’s also indicative of what Devaney has become, which is Tim Sykes.
“As a trader, if you make money for too many years you lose sight of risk unless you get sucker- punched. In a funny way I want to thank the market for dealing me a direct hit.”
We almost expect him to add, “Which you can read about in my self-published book, An American Hedge Fund,” and then go into an apoplectic rant about how the SEC “raped” him and DealBreaker readers are plotting, so far unsuccessfully, to kill him.
We appreciate the fact that Robert Rodriquez, chief expecutive of First Pacific Advisors, was on hand to knock some sense into Devaney (and others, but mostly just Devaney), telling the crowd, “In my 38 years this has been the worst capital destruction and the worst rating decline in history. All of you should be ashamed of yourself,” we just fear it’s too late.
Creators of Credit Crisis Revel in Las Vegas [NYT]
*I know it’s not exactly accurate but it just feels so right.
** Professionally speaking of course, though you have to wonder what someone whose favorite activity is to pose in front his toys is like in his personal life.
sad but true
I hope he at least he got to keep his Hawaii chair. And the memories that go along with owning one of the finest seats anywhere.
Didn’t that vh1 (or was it E!?) special say he had something like 30 homes?
Also Bess, I like how my lil Devaney reference in the Gulfstream post inspired this article, I’m flattered, really, you shouldn’t have…
How many of you bitches have ever had a yacht, a helicopter, a G4, a home in Key Biscayne, a home in Aspen, much less at the same time? Shall I continue? You smug little bastards barely do well enough to scrape together enough funds to rent a Chevy from Hertz to make the slog to your pathetic little share in West Hampton. John has a monstrous set of BALLS, something most DB readers lack, in fact according to a prior article the bitches at GS are trying to get rid of theirs.
@ John’s friend
How are you so intimately acquainted with the size of his balls? I think we’re all curious here
Tim Sykes’ balls are bigger than Devaney’s, I know, I’ve seen both sets
Hey, Johny’s mate, the key point of this article not that he ever HAD those things, it’s that he MANAGED TO LOSE ALL OF THEM!!!
And that requires a special talent you dickhead.
Thank you, John’s friend, for taking his cock out of your mouth long enough to spew that self righteous little diatribe.
Not sure how these things work, but when his plane, house, boat, etc. were repo-ed, did they also repo his balls?
Didn’t BS just short another Bil of subprime? Perhaps JD is on the other side of that trade.
Also, whats up with the new sponsors?
Buyout Madness? SciFinance? You guys hire a new ad-sales intern we don’t know about?
Timmay might have qualified to wash his cars.
2:55 – A little known fact -
Remember when Evel Kneivel tried to jump the Snake River in a rocket motorcycle and crashed?
A Federal Commission later discovered the reason for the crash. The rocket motorcycle engineer forgot to factor in the huge size of Evel’s balls.
Biscayne Key Rats 4evah!
3:13
brilliant
John needs Thad!!!
tell me you’re watching charlie G talking about sex changes right now
Yep.. Saw Charlie talking about sex “reassignment” ROFL
-mrp
This give a whole new meaning to “Swaps”
Key Rats, always acted tougher than they really were.
How do you “keep it real” on Key Biscayne.
It’s one thing to lampoon Devaney, many would say that he had it coming. But comparing him to the bar mitzvah money boy pretender / loser is just ridiculous. Actually, if you really knew anything about Devaney you’d know he still has plenty of assets left, even after his big toy sale. And he still probably makes more in a day than the average $15-$20 a post bloggers makes (like you guys at Dealbreaker probably take down)
You’re just jealous you weren’t invited to the party. It was a blast!
god bless him, was a hell of a party
Devaney is a tool
I used to sell pure toxic waste to him, could easily have bought another ski house just from his trades alone. He wanted it, no one had to twist his arm. Not balls, arrogance, not intellect, BULL MARKET
Its real simple, never invest with ANYONE based in florida, its the freak show capital of the US. Unwritten rule on my desk, never buy bonds from FL accounts…those customers are for selling to only…UCM was definitely a one way account
BTW…wanna bet Devaneys name is in tigers lil black book (as in seth tobias’ tiger)
I bet Johnny’s account is bigger than 14K. Just a hunch. In fact that is probably what he spent on shrimp for the subprime fantasy ball.
“Thank you, John’s friend, for taking his cock out of your mouth long enough to spew that self righteous little diatribe.”
Tecnically, he could’ve typed that post with John’s dick still in his mouth.
Devaney must have the world’s smallest wang to want to surround himself with (and be photographed with) yachts, helicopters et al …and then throw a lavish party when he should be going to a drive thru McDonalds given how he’s fucked up big time – not just for himself but thousands of others who swallowed his snake oil.
Well he would have to pick the Blue Man Group – grown up smurfs if you ask me -
If there is a merciful God, heaven is:
Night 1. Blue Man Group
Night 2. Cirque de Soleil Quidam
Repeat ad infinitum
@ Rikki TikkiTavi
I thought about your post and my dealings with people in Florida and realized that you are right. Just about everyone I’ve done biz with there has been screwed in the head, had a massive cocaine habit, or both.
Not that there is anything wrong with a massive cocaine habit.
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