Goldman Sachs To The Bottom 5: You Are The Weakest Link. Goodbye.

layoffsatbearstearns.jpgWe’ve gotten to the bottom of the rumors we were following up on this morning about the rumored layoffs at Goldman Sachs. It turns out our skepticism was justified. There have not been across the board cuts at Goldman, and certainly not the type of layoffs we’ve seen at places like Citigroup and Bank of America.

But people are weeping into their keyboards, and a spat of “this is my last day at the firm” emails have been flying through 85 Broad Street today. This is the result of Goldman’s recently completed annual review process in which the people who come out in the bottom 5% are given a stern talking to and often leave the firm. Those in the dead pool have just been given notice—thus the resulting heartbreak, tears, rage and strangely dispassionate emails.

Comments

1

Posted by jerkey , Feb 01, 2008 1:59PM

How do they determine the "bottom 5%" ?

2

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:04PM

Weakest link! Sweet pop culture reference Carney....

3

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:07PM

get 20 people together and tell one of them "its not you, its me"

4

Posted by LL Cool J , Feb 01, 2008 2:07PM

Those who refuse to swallow

5

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:09PM

get 20 people together and tell one of them "its not you, its me"

6

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:11PM

rrrRRROOOONNNNnnnn PPPUUUALLLLL....

7

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:15PM

Hmmm, talked to a few friends at Goldman and they said this is not news, happens every year, just usually more under the radar. Yay/nay?

8

Posted by John Carney , Feb 01, 2008 2:15PM

Bottom five is determined as a result of their 360 degree performance reviews.

9

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:18PM

rrrRRROOOONNNNnnnn PPPUUUALLLLL....

10

Posted by rahodeb , Feb 01, 2008 2:28PM

the bottom 5 at Goldman would at least make the top half at he rest of the bulgies...
there's a lot of mediocrity in banking.

11

Posted by now Goldman, former Merrill , Feb 01, 2008 2:38PM

@rahodeb
you overstimate the talent at Goldman considerably

12

Posted by rahodeb , Feb 01, 2008 2:46PM

granted, some groups are better than others.

13

Posted by anon anon anon , Feb 01, 2008 2:48PM

GS is always complaining that the top 20% make 80% of the money. So they should let the bottom 80% go each year, right?

14

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 2:51PM

The culture of GS worship around here is hilarious, seriously.

15

Posted by TheTRUF , Feb 01, 2008 2:54PM

@rahodeb

clearly you are the definition of mediocrity in self esteem. Leave the anagrams alone and GET BACK to your last day at GS.

16

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 3:04PM

I want to have sex with GS

17

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 3:13PM

@TRUF...huh?

18

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 3:15PM

i want to have sex with ron paul

19

Posted by unemployed , Feb 01, 2008 3:25PM

I'm glad I'm just a part of a big herd getting fired in the financial industry because of 360's!

20

Posted by justadude , Feb 01, 2008 3:29PM


I have had sex with GS. Little Jew bitch scrunched her eyes and asked, "you want me to suck what?".

The relationship did not last.

21

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 3:32PM

i want to have sex with ron paul

22

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 3:40PM

I am willing to comfort the bottom 5% white females with large breasts and small waists. I'm so glad I'm so generous.

23

Posted by TheTRUF , Feb 01, 2008 3:49PM

@Anonymous 3:13

(shakes head). ok. let me walk you through this, sunshine. look up anagram in the dictionary. ill wait...........ok. got it? now look at the name "rahodeb" again. does anything jump out at you? if not, at least i tried my best.

24

Posted by Why kick them when they are down? , Feb 01, 2008 3:57PM

It is complete bullshit that some arrogant idiot in the PR dept at Goldman tells the world that the cuts right now are the bottom 5%. Why do they have to do that and place a Scarlet Letter on the head of anyone cut in this round?? Also, forget the fantasy that the bottom 5% is good - - the reality is it is the top 5% is what makes Goldman what it is.

25

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 4:03PM

Well said 3:57. WTF? It's bad enough to get the boot, especially in this market. Why stamp "loser" on their forehead?

26

Posted by . , Feb 01, 2008 4:12PM

Question: Can someone name one hot woman who dates/marries a GS banker?

Been to the x-mas/summer outings. Its like Halloween.

27

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 4:26PM

@4:12
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeri_Ryan

She ultimately dumped her GS banker for a Hollywood guy though...Good trade on her side as hubby was a partner and she waited until after they went public.

28

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 4:37PM

@4:26 you win today's commenting.

29

Posted by ,,,, , Feb 01, 2008 4:50PM

Trekies???

30

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 4:56PM

Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter)
Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!

31

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 5:19PM

4:56. So let me get this straight, you are mocking them for not being original by...wait for it...wait for it...
not being original?

32

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 5:43PM

TheTRUF - you're an idiot, the rahodeb name is a pop culture reference to an infamous anagram, not a toolish attempt at clever anagram use.

Ever heard of John Mackey??

33

Posted by rahodeb , Feb 01, 2008 5:45PM

@Truf... huh? Rahodeb is my name, though I've had to go by Ra since John Mackey brought it such infamy...

34

Posted by Anonymous , Feb 02, 2008 3:47AM

What's with all the anti-Semitic stuff lately? Yesterday, a commenter wrote in saying db commenters were "classless NY kikes." Today, Bess said a guy seen crying after being laid off at GS was "a Jew crying over money." A commenter on this post said he had sex with "a little Jew bitch." At what point does the atmosphere become too noxious?

35

Posted by Anonymous , Feb 02, 2008 3:56AM

Goldman Sachs may lay off 5% of their staff every year, but this year they managed to do it in a particularly graceless way. What makes them such scientists to be able to identify the "least productive" 5%? It's hard to believe that the actions of the market didn't affect their judgment. Couldn't they just say the laid off people weren't a good fit with their organization at this time? Their HR tactics are horrible, and the PR is a mess.

36

Posted by PR Goon , Feb 02, 2008 8:28AM

Simple, EVERY firm does annual talent reviews. EVERY firm employs some form of "ranking, segmentation etc." EVERY firm has staff set and agree reasonably attainable goals/objectives at the beginning of the year in consultation with their managers. Then, at the end of the year the results are tallied. Why would any firm hold on to its least productive employees? Some people are lazy, some are "bad apples" - rottently selfish at the core,some just don't get it. 360 reviews ensure that it's not just a miserable boss pushing them out. GS doesn't need speculation on "layoffs" when in fact, they are simply going thru the discipline every other firm attempts...but generally fails. When the press got it wrong, someone had to set the record straight.

37

Posted by Anonymous , Feb 02, 2008 2:07PM

PR Goon: GS could proceed as rationally as you argue they do, and still say something more neutral about the laid-off employees. What's wrong with saying that GS evaluates its organization annually, and the people let go weren't a good fit with the organization at this time? And then shutting up. There's nothing untrue about a less aggressive characterization of the fired employees.

I've been in the unpleasant situation of having to lay off people, and we had the following goals: (1) to be as humane as possible because we were inflicting life-changing loss on a person; (2) to keep from creating a demoralized atmosphere among remaining employees; (3) to keep the process orderly, efficient, and civil (people can "go postal" when they lose their jobs, and a petty run-in caused by a high-handed administrator can be a trigger); and (4) to avoid providing a "reason" for the individual lay-off because to do so invites employment lawsuits.

No matter what GS says, the net result of "setting the record straight" was the unnecessary humiliation of laid-off employees. I wonder how many problems they have created for themselves in terms of reduced employee regard of management, distaste of their tactics by outsiders, and employment lawsuits?

38

Posted by Anonymous , Feb 03, 2008 12:48AM

Every firm may conduct annual reviews, but not every firm lays off 5% of their work force in an annual ritual. PR Goon asks why any firm would hold onto its least productive employees. Most firms try to stay as lean as possible, and hire people as needed to get out the work product. A group layoff of 5% of an appropriately sized work force would disrupt the production of work. That's why most firms don't deal with underachievers on a group basis. Apparently Goldman can afford to over hire, and intricately plans for these annual disruptions.

In many communities, the word of an annual group layoff of 5%, coupled with the award of a stigma for each and every one of them, would earn a company the reputation of being an undesirable employer. If you put into the equation the possibility of earning great wealth by working at the company for a relatively brief span of time, you can apparently overcome recruitment problems ordinary companies would experience.

The third reason most companies don't purge 5% of the work force all at once and stigmatize the people laid off as problem employees is that the leadership of the companies doesn't have the stomach for it. This kind of behavior is seen as unnecessarily brutal. Many companies use employee assistance programs, progressive discipline, and offer problem employees the opportunity to resign rather than be dismissed. A stigmatizing dismissal is used only as a last resort. Obviously, these alternatives can't be used if a company is struggling with a difficult financial situation, and has to lay people off to survive. But that's a layoff, not a dismissal for cause.

Finally, if a company dismisses someone for cause, publicizes the reason, and happens to be proven wrong about the publicized reason, it's called slander, and people can recover large sums of money from the company. If a company dismisses a group of people for cause and brands them all with the same reason, the company increases its exposure to liability. Most companies are unwilling to take this kind of risk.

Goldman Sachs is apparently so confident of their system of evaluation that they feel they can live with the risk of mistakenly stigmatizing laid off employees. Or Goldman Sachs has such vast sums of money that a potential judgment is meaningless to it.

It all comes down to money in the end. However, even the wealthiest company is vulnerable to reversals of fortune. Now that Goldman has received bad publicity for this annual ritual, I wonder if they're planning to do it the same way next year?

39

Posted by FRAT STUD , Feb 03, 2008 10:59PM

Guys at my high school got laid off all the time (well, the bottom 5% did anyway). It was no big deal.

40

Posted by Smartest Guys in the Room , Feb 04, 2008 12:23AM

A friend in Texas told me Enron had a similar personnel policy. 10 - 15% of the work force were laid off every year for "underperformance." Enron paid much higher than market entry salaries to be able to continue recruiting because the annual layoff policy was publicly known. Enron built up a lot of ill will in Houston before it collapsed.

41

Posted by Anonymous , Feb 04, 2008 12:30AM

Frat Stud -- you need a broader frame of reference.

42

Posted by John Thain , Feb 04, 2008 9:01AM

Trying to spin it like they are laying off the worst 5%, BS.
They got lucky / were smart on shorting the ABX, otherwise the subprime/AltA biz would have hurt them. You can only pull that rabbit out once, so how do you make money in '08? Lower costs is one way. Look, GS is the smartest and best firm in the world, I just don't like throwing good people under the bus. Llyod: Man-up, admit some mistakes were made and move on, don't hide behind good people who participated in a bad market.

43

Posted by punching above your weight , Feb 04, 2008 9:54AM

Will you faggots please PLEASE stop idolising Goldman Sachs....

I know a few of them, and theyre very down to earth, but many many of them would sell their grandmothers...and theyre as rotten as the rest of us...

Mostly GS is full of shit stained idiot sheep being driven by half decent shepherds...

44

Posted by ex-gs , Feb 04, 2008 11:33AM

This isn't really that much of a new item - people get canned for horrid 360 reviews every year.

If you mostly 'don't meet expectations', you will have a talk with your superior (not to mention that your bonus will suffer) and the bottom 5% is let go. I've personally seen 3 people let go/resign after poor reviews.

45

Posted by annoymous , Feb 12, 2008 9:43AM

The bottom 5% at GS is made up of people who are truly the worst performers and people who are caught in politically bad situations and are labeled "bottom 5%." I've been with GS for 12 years and since going public it has become extremely political.

46

Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2008 7:34PM

the 5% is done in many ashomage to jack welch (ge) sob. thief whoremonger.. but got roi. if you go into the culture you knew what you were getting into at gs..or anywhere like it you were clueless..or maybe a loser.. or maybe unlucky..but.. "buh bye" since there was no "buy buy".

47

Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2008 10:02PM

If you tell your people that you're going to lay off the bottom 5 % every year, everyone will do their darndest not to be in the bottom 5%. They'll all work harder. So you get better performance out of everyone..makes sense if their PR about this is really directed internally. Everyone's a little scared.

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