We’re not crazy- we understood full well the tough times that mortgage lender Countrywide has lately fallen on would mean a battening down and tightening of the company belt. We just assumed the streamlining would be contained to firing a ton of employees and screwing a few more people on their home loans, and not impinge on the really important stuff, like flying Ang. Moz.’s leathery goodness around the world in style.
So we were extremely disappointed to hear that the company put its Gulfstream IV on the market, for $21.5 million, which really isn’t that much money when you factor in how sad the sale will make the old crocodile, who’s had some great times in that thing. Making spur of the moment visits to Fresno for the ego boosts derived from thinking about how many people he and his associates fucked in town. Entertaining tanning bed distributers at the cabin bar during the flight to Dubuque, Iowa for their missionary work (if ever there was a population comprised solely of pasty individuals in need of a little “face paint,” as Moz likes to call it, it was in Dubque). Throwing $500,000 in small bills out the window over a cattle ranch in Montana, and making 100 Countrywide staffers pick up and return every last dollar. Shit like that.
And now he’s being involuntarily stripped of these memories, like the chemical peel he so desperately needs but refuses to get. Anyway. I’m not sure there’s anything any of us can do about it, but I just felt you should know. If I’m wrong, and you do have the scratch, there’s contact information for some Countrywide guy named Patrick Johnson who I guess is handling the sale. Give him a buzz in the office at (818) 778-1770, or try him on his cell at (203) 890-2000. This is important.
1990 GULFSTREAM IV [Controller]
* Yeah I know he “said” he wouldn’t use the company plane but we’re talking about Angelo Mozillo here and need to take everything that comes out of his mouth with a giant grain of If I’d screw you for a nickle, you don’t even want to know what I’d do to you for a free ride on the corporate jetTM salt.