Layoffs Watch '08: I Can't Even Get The Words Out

Posted by Bess Levin, Feb 01, 2008, 11:20am

We hear the hideously unthinkable-- layoffs at Goldman-- are happening today. We have no other information*, other than that "the guy sitting next to me was crying." A Jew crying over money-- BFD (follow me into an ATM booth whenever if you'd like to watch this live). Until someone coughs up something interesting, we'll be watching Jiminy Glick clips (February is Jiminy Glick Month). We will begin with the following:

Earlier: The Unthinkable

*We've been assured that the higher-ups who don't read this site (they have their secretaries provide summaries) are all secure. Thank God.

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Posted in: Goldman Sachs

Comments

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 11:43AM

i heard this is happening today

Posted by Yo!, Feb 01, 2008 11:44AM

but remember, GS management kindly said that it is only something like the bottom 5% of performers. So not only do a bunch of insecure, type-A, failure-is-not-an-option people get kicked to the pavement, they also get canned with everybody on the Street explicitly knowing that they were a bottom-fiver. That's pretty rough.

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 01, 2008 11:45AM

bottom 5% @ goldman = top 5% @ _______________ ...

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 11:47AM

top 5% at countrywide, no doubt!

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:06PM

I guess they'll have to pinch their pennies EVEN MORE. Maybe even resorting to....(wait for it) COUPONS! Oh the hawwah!

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:16PM

oi vey

Posted by Inquisitor, Feb 01, 2008 12:19PM

Believe they lay off the bottom 5% every year... or at least "review the performance of under-performers." Not all that shocking and still relatively light compared to layoffs at other banks.

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:20PM

i guess by definition we should assume the other wall street layoffs were an egalitarian cross section of performers at their respective firms.

Posted by BSD, Feb 01, 2008 12:24PM

Yeah, 12:20. Unless you happen to be a CDO trader, then you're fucked unless you talk to John Carney about the wonderful opportunities from the DealBreaker Career Center™

Posted by JD, Feb 01, 2008 12:28PM

No more custom oak dressers. So sad.

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:43PM

10 Large in NYC 5% tax free bonds.
That's MY coupon. Eat me.

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:44PM

10 Large in NYC 5% tax free bonds.
That's MY coupon. Eat me.

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:45PM

10 Large in NYC 5% tax free bonds.
That's MY coupon. Eat me.

Posted by anonymous, Feb 01, 2008 12:53PM

Something's cooking at Citigroup. But what?

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