Well, I spoke to 1-2, who's taking the day off from work to recover from his date with 'girl' (kidding, he always takes Fridays off, sometimes Mondays, too, and every other Wednesday, and the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month). On the one hand, it sounds like they had a nice little first date. On the other, 1-2 didn't give me shit! Honestly, the whole experience (the recap, not the date) was like pulling teeth. I get that he has to "play it cool" and "respect" her by not kissing and telling but John Francis Carney III, Esquire! show me some freaking gratitude. I brought you two together, I facilitated this whole thing. I'm not asking you scream out my name in the throes of passion (though people often do) or let me babysit the kids but show a little leg for god's sake.

So. If anyone has a problem with the lack of entertainment value after the jump, take it up with 3-4, not me. The next time DealBreaker gets involved in the love lives of our readers, you can bet there'll be a contractual obligation for explicit details and video footage. To that end, as soon as the editing is completed, we'll be posting the results of commenter anal_yst's date with commenter anal_yst. You will not be disappointed, this much I promise you.

DBBL (1:37:57 PM): ok so you met at the smith

DBBL (1:37:59 PM): what time

1-2 (1:38:03 PM): 830

DBBL (1:38:09 PM): who got there first

1-2 (1:38:22 PM): she did

DBBL (1:38:32 PM): were you late?

1-2 (1:38:46 PM): nah, i got there at like 832

DBBL (1:38:50 PM): ok

DBBL (1:38:59 PM): did you do any pre-date rituals beforehand?

1-2 (1:39:25 PM): haha...no. i really didnt know what to expect.

DBBL (1:39:36 PM): what did you wear?

1-2 (1:39:50 PM): suit, no tie

DBBL (1:40:04 PM): suit

DBBL (1:40:09 PM): that's a little intense dont you think?

DBBL (1:40:13 PM): were you coming from work?

DBBL (1:40:20 PM): you already got your bonus

DBBL (1:40:25 PM): so no sense staying late

1-2 (1:40:45 PM): nah. it worked. it was a dark dark tan suit and striped shirt.

1-2 (1:40:53 PM): she was in a dress

DBBL (1:40:59 PM): what did it look like

DBBL (1:41:01 PM): color?

DBBL (1:41:03 PM): cut?

1-2 (1:41:11 PM): you had better get 'girl''s approval on anything before writing

DBBL (1:41:16 PM): i will

DBBL (1:41:22 PM): answer my questions

DBBL (1:42:27 PM): hello?

DBBL (1:42:30 PM): let's go

1-2 (1:42:42 PM): damnit woman

1-2 (1:42:43 PM): settle

DBBL (1:42:53 PM): i'm completely calm

DBBL (1:42:56 PM): cut/color?

1-2 (1:43:00 PM): she just wore a nice dress. strapless and black.

DBBL (1:43:08 PM): ok

DBBL (1:43:15 PM): you were both pretty dressed up

DBBL (1:43:24 PM): was she wearing heels?

1-2 (1:43:28 PM): yes

DBBL (1:43:30 PM): what was the height differential like

DBBL (1:43:34 PM): you're pretty tall

1-2 (1:44:12 PM): she was shorter than i, but i dont know really. i'd say 5'9 with heels?

1-2 (1:44:16 PM): really bad guess though

DBBL (1:44:54 PM): first thought when you saw her?

1-2 (1:45:03 PM): cuter than i expected

DBBL (1:45:10 PM): that's nice

1-2 (1:45:28 PM): easy to pick out though. her back was to me, but i could tell it was her.

DBBL (1:45:37 PM): how

DBBL (1:45:43 PM): just a "feeling"?

1-2 (1:45:48 PM): yea

DBBL (1:45:58 PM): what was the awkwardness level like at first

DBBL (1:46:14 PM): and did you acknowledge it

DBBL (1:46:18 PM): "this is weird"

DBBL (1:46:19 PM): etc

DBBL (1:46:29 PM): did you talk about ron blarney at all?

1-2 (1:46:50 PM): ron blarney?

1-2 (1:47:01 PM): it actually wasnt weird

DBBL (1:47:16 PM): dont act lke you don't know who ron blarney is

DBBL (1:47:25 PM): ron blarney?

DBBL (1:47:29 PM): lon varney?

DBBL (1:47:31 PM): don klarney?

DBBL (1:47:40 PM): stop me when the lightbulb goes off

1-2 (1:48:11 PM): keep going

DBBL (1:48:28 PM): ill let you think about it

DBBL (1:48:32 PM): ok the date

DBBL (1:48:36 PM): back to it

DBBL (1:48:39 PM): what did everyone order

DBBL (1:49:08 PM): and were you at a round table or a square one, across from each other or side by side

1-2 (1:49:18 PM): we split mac n cheese and then she wanted a "bloody steak" so i agreed to split a ny strip and fried

1-2 (1:49:21 PM): fries

1-2 (1:49:29 PM): they put us in a corner

1-2 (1:49:36 PM): i made a crack that you did that somehow

DBBL (1:49:41 PM): hah

DBBL (1:50:14 PM): ok so she likes rare meat, that's good, i hate ppl who get it any more cooked than medium rare

DBBL (1:50:17 PM): what did you drink

1-2 (1:50:39 PM): i had hendricks on the rocks

DBBL (1:50:54 PM): and she had....

1-2 (1:51:00 PM): dewers and diet

DBBL (1:51:25 PM): what did you talk about

DBBL (1:51:48 PM): what was the fliration level like

DBBL (1:52:08 PM): and was her hair up or down

1-2 (1:52:14 PM): hair down

1-2 (1:52:55 PM): talked about everything from how weird it was to our lives to the fact commener Random Banker claimed to have emailed us both yet he had only emailed her

DBBL (1:53:05 PM): at any time did she leave the table and you thought to yourself "yeah she's probably not going to come back"

DBBL (1:53:16 PM): wait, Random Banker emailed you?

DBBL (1:53:24 PM): i mean her

DBBL (1:53:26 PM): what'd he say

1-2 (1:53:26 PM): YEA

1-2 (1:54:05 PM): i made the first trip to the bathroom, which was rediculous (peep show, barber chair, photobooth) and told her she had to check it out before we left

DBBL (1:54:19 PM): the men's room?

1-2 (1:54:47 PM): uni

DBBL (1:54:57 PM): oh. that would've been a good "first date test," telling her to go into the men's room and see how she handled the challenge

DBBL (1:55:17 PM): anyway. what was her reaction (to the room, not to your forcing her to go in there)

1-2 (1:55:36 PM): thought it was rediculous like i did

DBBL (1:55:45 PM): who paid for dinner

1-2 (1:56:19 PM): i did, while she was in the bathroom

1-2 (1:56:27 PM): she bought drinks at amsterdam

DBBL (1:56:34 PM): how much was diner

DBBL (1:56:36 PM): dinner

1-2 (1:57:53 PM): under a hundred with drinks and tip

DBBL (1:58:20 PM): is there any particular reason you dont want to tell me the actual amount?

DBBL (1:58:25 PM): or do you just not remember

1-2 (1:58:38 PM): 95

DBBL (1:58:47 PM): k

1-2 (1:58:51 PM): drinks>food

DBBL (1:59:24 PM): Did you get wasted because you were having fun, or to dispel any lingering memories of the fact that you agreed to do this?

1-2 (1:59:56 PM): the former

DBBL (1:59:59 PM): nice

DBBL (2:00:08 PM): ok whose idea was it to go play pool

1-2 (2:00:11 PM): she was pretty hammered too though. i was playing catch up most of the night.

DBBL (2:00:17 PM): hah

1-2 (2:00:25 PM): mine. we were walking by it and thought it'd be fun

DBBL (2:00:28 PM): do you think she'd been drinking beforehand?

DBBL (2:00:35 PM): like before dinner

1-2 (2:00:37 PM): she had some wine before

DBBL (2:00:45 PM): smart

DBBL (2:00:52 PM): how was pool

DBBL (2:00:57 PM): who won

1-2 (2:02:24 PM): i won both games handidly

DBBL (2:02:34 PM): was she awkwardly bad or cute bad

1-2 (2:02:39 PM): tried to help her out

DBBL (2:02:52 PM): like were you embarrassed for her or did you find it endearing

DBBL (2:02:58 PM): did your pointers help?

1-2 (2:03:41 PM): cute bad. she was trying.

DBBL (2:04:03 PM): how did she react to losing?

1-2 (2:04:06 PM): its really hard for someone to embarrass me with their own actions (ie, being bad at something)

1-2 (2:04:12 PM): so i guess it was endearing

1-2 (2:04:19 PM): she bought drinks

DBBL (2:04:27 PM): i always experience second hand embarssment

DBBL (2:04:33 PM): the losing though

DBBL (2:04:36 PM): how did she take it

DBBL (2:04:44 PM): i sense a competitive streak in her

DBBL (2:04:47 PM): (in a good way)

DBBL (2:05:20 PM): and is she a trash talker?

DBBL (2:05:47 PM): take your time in addressing any of these

DBBL (2:05:51 PM): i have all the time in the world

1-2 (2:06:57 PM): the losing?

DBBL (2:07:17 PM): i actually meant please address all the questions

1-2 (2:07:51 PM): oh jesus, i didnt see those

1-2 (2:07:53 PM): weird

1-2 (2:07:53 PM): ok

1-2 (2:07:54 PM): hmmm

DBBL (2:08:10 PM): pointers/trash talk/losing

1-2 (2:08:15 PM): pointers helped

DBBL (2:08:22 PM): cool

1-2 (2:08:35 PM): not much trash talking to be honest. more just flirting enjoying the night.

DBBL (2:08:53 PM): i mean, TT is a form of flirtation

DBBL (2:09:03 PM): was she ok w/ losing?

1-2 (2:09:36 PM): she knew she was a bad at pool walking in so she didnt trash talk or worry about her game

1-2 (2:09:43 PM): although she missed the cue ball a few times

1-2 (2:09:44 PM): haha

1-2 (2:09:54 PM): tt is flirty, but it wasnt right

DBBL (2:10:07 PM): what does that mean

DBBL (2:10:13 PM): it wasn't appropriate to trash talk?

DBBL (2:10:18 PM): k anyway

DBBL (2:10:21 PM): what did you drink there

1-2 (2:10:51 PM): beers

1-2 (2:10:53 PM): bud for me

1-2 (2:10:56 PM): stella for her

DBBL (2:11:06 PM): any shots?

1-2 (2:11:09 PM): tt just wasnt right at the time

1-2 (2:11:09 PM): none

DBBL (2:11:21 PM): then what

DBBL (2:12:09 PM): ?

1-2 (2:12:41 PM): then we went to kiss n fly

DBBL (2:12:49 PM): whose idea was that

1-2 (2:12:50 PM): walked half way then jumped in a cab

1-2 (2:12:52 PM): mine

DBBL (2:12:58 PM): why'd you chose that place

DBBL (2:13:08 PM): out of curiosity

1-2 (2:13:22 PM): my buddy had a group of people there

DBBL (2:13:36 PM): interesting

DBBL (2:13:41 PM): was there any making out in the cab?

1-2 (2:14:05 PM): maybe

DBBL (2:14:19 PM): you already told me you made out

DBBL (2:14:35 PM): so let's just establish when/where the first kiss occurred

1-2 (2:14:49 PM): cant tell you that

1-2 (2:14:52 PM): you can ask her

DBBL (2:14:54 PM): show a little gratitude for me bringing you two together

DBBL (2:14:58 PM): fine

DBBL (2:15:00 PM): i will ask her

[This was her response via email: "Wait we made out?? JK. A lady never tells."]

DBBL (2:15:15 PM): so what happened at K&F

1-2 (2:15:26 PM): i have given you a freaking play by play, it's not like im stone walling

1-2 (2:15:46 PM): we sat on the stage with my buddy and his group (mostly girls oddly)

1-2 (2:15:54 PM): drank jack and goose

1-2 (2:16:02 PM): stayed til like 245

DBBL (2:17:12 PM): what were her interactions like w/ the other ladies

1-2 (2:17:32 PM): stayed mostly to us

DBBL (2:19:02 PM): did the ppl you were hanging out with know you guys had met on the internet?

1-2 (2:19:32 PM): nah

1-2 (2:19:37 PM): didnt tell them anything

DBBL (2:20:15 PM): if things get serious will you tell ppl you met on the internet? or come up with an alternative story

1-2 (2:20:34 PM): nah, the true story is too good

DBBL (2:23:02 PM): alright well what happened there

DBBL (2:23:12 PM): i need some fucking details

DBBL (2:23:26 PM): you want to disappoint the readers?

1-2 (2:23:50 PM): no, but i dont want to disappoint her either

DBBL (2:24:03 PM): im checking this w/ her before i post

1-2 (2:24:41 PM): i know

1-2 (2:25:24 PM): we danced, drank

1-2 (2:25:27 PM): hungout

1-2 (2:25:38 PM): there were really no stories from when we were at k n f

DBBL (2:27:14 PM): fine

DBBL (2:27:22 PM): then tell me how it ended

1-2 (2:27:46 PM): ended well.

1-2 (2:28:09 PM): she needed to go home, and i needed to talk with some of the guys for a few minutes longer

DBBL (2:28:12 PM): was there talk continuing things at one of your apts

DBBL (2:28:16 PM): oh yeah?

DBBL (2:28:20 PM): what did yo have to talk to htem about

1-2 (2:28:28 PM): doesnt matter. not date related.

1-2 (2:28:40 PM): i hadnt talked to a few of them all night, so i wanted to say hey

1-2 (2:28:52 PM): no one went home with the other

DBBL (2:28:54 PM): did you walk her out

1-2 (2:29:26 PM): we've been emailing today though

1-2 (2:29:28 PM): things are good

1-2 (2:29:38 PM): even though i was a douche bag and didnt walk her out

1-2 (2:29:46 PM): at that point i was pretty wasted

DBBL (2:30:13 PM): think you'll see her this weekend?

1-2 (2:30:58 PM): probably

DBBL (2:31:25 PM): any last words?

1-2 (2:32:02 PM): it was worth the trouble