Mark Haines Has Been Appearing On-Air Without Underwear For Years, This Is Nothing New

Posted by Bess Levin, Feb 04, 2008, 4:46pm

The Post reported today that in order to compete with the mistresses of Fox Business, CNBC has brought in a new wardrobe stylist to skank things up a bit (previous credits include Backdoor Sluts 7,8 and 9). As the story goes, staid crew necks have been swapped for “form-fitting V-necks” and pants for no pants. While we are all for this new regime, there are a couple things with which we take issue. First, it’s not the Fox anchors that are of the looser persuasion, it’s their guests. So if CNBC were trying to go tit-for-tat (oh yeah, I went there), it would be unbuttoning John Carney’s top buttons, not Maria Bartiromo’s.

Second, if anyone was watching CNBC today, they would’ve seen that Erin Burnett was dressed in, not a plunging neckline sweater but say it together, a crew-neck, underneath a hideously boxy beige blazer. (Not that I give a baker’s fuck, or that it matters, since I think EB always looks good*, I’m just trying to make a point.) Which actually makes me wonder whether or not CNBC caught wind of the item and was like, "You wanna try and expose us as newly minted tramps? Fuck you, we'll be the exact opposite." And I don't like that at all. Tomorrow, I want to see a shot of Haines's cock ring. The rest of you, I want to see those stripper spangles through white blouses (you, too, Pisani). We can get back to peddling ass, if we try.

V-neck Defense [NYP]

*That was me channeling Don Klarney, tell me what you thought.

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Posted in: CNBC

Comments

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 04, 2008 4:51PM

Ron Blarney for President! He is no less likely than Ron Paul to be elected.

Posted by s75, Feb 04, 2008 4:52PM

haha, Bess, great way to end the day as I run out to what promises to be yet another useless afternoon meeting

Posted by Bugs Meany, Feb 04, 2008 4:55PM

Margaret Brennan always rocks tight V-necks and looks FANTASTIC. Why is she still a third-stringer?!

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 4:59PM

@ girl & 1-2:

I'm still pissed. i demand a retraction. I have never e-mailed or said i e-mailed either one of you.

And on Eli from the earlier post. The kid is a bum. He got lucky. As my dad loves to say, a blind pig finds an acorn every once in a while. I Guarantee he NEVER wins another super bowl. He's shit.

And also, I think having a high IQ (beyond a certain point) makes you a worse quarter back, not better. If he's anything like me, and my IQ is certainly higher than that Meatball's, he uses all his extra brain capacity to calculate all of the permutations of possible disaster that are about to befall him. Thus leaving him paralyzed and late on the release resulting in missed opportunities, interceptions and failure.

So enjoy your moment Giants fans, for it will be your last for years.

Posted by (Bess Levin for president), Feb 04, 2008 5:08PM

"And I don't like that at all."

Me neither!

Posted by girl, Feb 04, 2008 5:08PM

no one likes to see you angry RB. consider it retracted.

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:08PM

So, RB, a giants fan you are not, lemme guess, Patriots, starting somewhere around 2003?

Also to clarify, I was not in RB's bedroom this weekend.

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 5:10PM

Am I paranoid or was there not just a Ron Paul rant that is no longer here?

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 5:10PM

Research all female CNBC anchors can use:

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23157982-5013016,00.html

Posted by genius, Feb 04, 2008 5:11PM

"We can get back to peddling ass, if we try."

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:13PM

Unofficial DB policy is to now nix any posts specifically mentioning RP, to keep his fanatical e-fan base away, unless said post makes reference to: erections, phallic jokes, etc

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 5:13PM

Oh I just dislike the Giants. I HATE the Patriots. But beyond my dislike ( I dislike all New York sports teams.), Eli is a bum.

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 5:15PM

hey anal_yst? since you are the one who suggested the policy, why don't you STFU?

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:17PM

Don't you live in NYC RB? Lemme guess, Bengals fan?

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:20PM

@ 5:15

Awww, so sorry for ruining all your fun and propoganda-mongering and idiotic phrases

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 5:21PM

@girl:

OK girl, all is forgiven. I'm glad you guys had a good time. Now, all I need is the name and social security number of this guy impersonating me.

Posted by HAM'05, Feb 04, 2008 5:23PM

RB - always enjoy your comments but cut out the giants shit talking.

eli scrambling and hitting his man was one of the greatest plays - for me - that i have ever seen. following this team has been frustrating more often than not but them winning last night was more satisfying thatn watching your retarted half brother not freak out when someone goes in for a hug.

honestly, walking into modells this morning to pick up a tee shirt made me well up. our little boy is all growns up.

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 5:30PM

@anal_yst:

I am not from New York, which is all that matters. As radicalized mulsims living in Europe can attest, living in enemy territory surrounded by godless heathens makes you detest them and their way of life.... or in this version their sports teams. Besides the Yankees...and i guess rangers?, all of the New York sports teams suck. I guess the main thing is having grown up no where near New York I can't believe anyone roots for these teams. I don't think I ever met a Giants fan until I moved to the city. You're all aliens to me.

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:33PM

@ Ham

watching that play today on sportscenter brought a tear to my eye (helped by the fact that I was still in all likelyhood legally drunk until around noon). Will take pleasure in (hopefully) getting a new tshirt or jersey in normal human-being size (why they buy so many XXL, etc is beyond me and why I think theres tremendous opportunities for improvement in virtually ever clothing/retail firm, butt thats another discussion...)

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 5:35PM

@HAM'05:

Yeah congratulations. I'm just saying. 5 good games doesn't wipe out Eli's history. I guess I wanted the Giants to win, better that, than the Pats. But come on, you guys didn't even deserve to make the playoffs.

Posted by PBateman, Feb 04, 2008 5:35PM

Random Banker, I hate to get all personal, but if you're going to comment on someone's football acumen it's best to spell "quarterback" without the space in the word.

Okay now back to the MHL for me.

Posted by big r, Feb 04, 2008 5:35PM

i think RB is about to pull an Andy Bernard on us.

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:35PM

@ RB

I didn't say Bengals to insinuate you're some middle-american idiot from Ohio, just reflecting the impression I get of your hatred of the Giants reminds me of friends who've been ardent Bengals fans, psychologically wounded from years of dissapointment after dissapointment

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 5:36PM

Canada loves Ron Paul!! If we were allowed to vote, he'd probably have 15 million votes from your Northern Neighbour. Keep up the good work, Dr. Paul… we believe in you!

Posted by Rev. Al, Feb 04, 2008 5:36PM

Manning shouldn't have been the MVP. Without the brutha catchin' that pass, whitey would have been crying in his white wine last night! Tyree was robbed! A White guy robbing a Black guy! What's wrong with our nation? Can't a bruth go to Disneyworld? Ya know it's true!

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 5:37PM

Why do they buy so many XXL? Haven't you ever seen the typical football fan? Go to a mall on some autumn saturday. XXL is probably gonna just make it. By contrast, check out the soccer shirts.

Posted by EE, Feb 04, 2008 5:39PM

and the only thing Canada loves more than Ron Paul?

Socialism.

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 5:43PM

@analyst:

I am from out that way. Though, I am no bangle's fan. So it would never occur to me that you might have been implying some sort of mockery toward the middle west.

@Bateman:

I have terrible penmanship and I can't spell. Its the mark of a first tier education.

Posted by GAnalYst, Feb 04, 2008 5:43PM

5:35 Congrats to HAM? What did he do? I could never understand this whole concept of being a fan. As far as I can figure its something like: 1) I like the Giants 2) the Giants won 3) I therefore am a winner too.

You guys actually believe that being a winner is as simple as that? Eli and Tom though are hot. That I will concede.

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 5:44PM

"Yeah congratulations. I'm just saying. 5 good games doesn't wipe out Eli's history. I guess I wanted the Giants to win, better that, than the Pats. But come on, you guys didn't even deserve to make the playoffs. "

So lets here it Jaworski, if Eli isn't a legit QB who is? If you name someone like Peyton or Brady who has 2 or more pro-bowl options to get the ball to, that just doesn't count... I mean, I guess it's ok if you're just talking trash because you're tired of hearing all the Giants fans, but give some f-ing credit where it's due...

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 5:45PM

@ 5:37

Fair enough, butt (and I didn't wanna get into a retail strategy discussion...) there are always tons of size massive items left on the shelves (and the sale racks), butt have you noticed theres (virtually) never any excess size normal apparel.

This leads me to believe producers are making too many fat-skewed clothing relative to the ammount of morbidly obese/gigantic people buying said apparel, and stores poor buying decisions/not leraning from previous trends. Even over the past 5 or so years since I've started paying any attention, I have not seen any widespread (or even targeted) efforts on behalf of retailers to improve their hideously poor buying/producing decisions. Apparently, all that ERP and MIS software has gone to waste...

Posted by btw i hate the giants but its true, Feb 04, 2008 6:13PM

@ 5:44

5 good games DOES wipe out his history. Joe Namath had a shaky career and is a 'solid quarterback' but that 1 game made him one of the best ever. This run plus the fact that he will use this experience to get better wipes out all the past mistakes.

Posted by 6:13, Feb 04, 2008 6:14PM

that was intended for RB not 5:44

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 04, 2008 6:16PM

Does anyone know if Joe Weisenthal will soon be writing posts other than the opening bell?

Posted by Random Banker, Feb 04, 2008 6:20PM

@6:13

Yeah, I don't think he's going to get any better. I think he's going to go back to his normal shitty self. So I guess there in lies our difference. I bet they don't even make the play off next year. Eli is pretty much Rex Grossman.

Posted by RP Supporter, Feb 04, 2008 6:22PM

Ron Paul is the truth! He represents what this country was made for…the people. I never related to a republican until I read about RP. His views on taxes and the free-market is the only way to save this country from the continued weakening dollar. Please vote Ron Paul 2008!

Posted by Mike, Feb 04, 2008 6:26PM

I first heard of Ron Paul on myspace. After viewing some videos I wanted to know more so I looked on this website and on YouTube and on ronpaul2008.com.

I can’t stop watching YouTube Ron Paul videos and they truly inspire me to realize what is happening in the world around me. Dr. Ron Paul is my hero.

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 6:37PM

I'll admit i was a major sheli critic until about 1/2 way- 3/4 through the season. Until last night I still wasn't (and am not yet) 100% convinced he's a keeper. But, he did surprise the sh!t out of me with his steadiness in the postseason. I thought for sure he'd buckle under the pressure and throw 12 int's, but he didn't (and at least 1 of yesterday's weren't his fault).

Depending on what we see out of him next year (having Smith step up should help alot), i think that'll give us a bit larger sample size from which to draw conclusions.

Posted by 36th Chamber, Feb 04, 2008 6:42PM

1. Even fat sports fans need love. In fact they need a lot more love than other sports fans because there's more of them. I believe it's also common to use those XXXXL shirts as drapes in some parts of the country (just thread a dowel through the sleeves and viola!).
2. Even if the entirety of DB readers voted Ron Paul he would still lose. By a lot. People like socialism. It tastes like cotton candy.
3. Ganalyst - I'm pretty sure that's exactly how it works. winnerx2 if you've bought an XXL jersey.
4. Eli may have gotten lucky, but as my dad always said "son, better lucky than good." Of course, that might have been because the latter was never an option.

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 6:45PM

I would sacrifice my left testicle to see a Ron Paul White House

Posted by Fox News, Feb 04, 2008 6:46PM

CNBC girls aren't that attractive and their " personalities " are as strong as Ron Paul's vote total

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 04, 2008 6:50PM

There should be a DealBreaker.com sponsored deli meat eating contest between Anal_yst , Charles Gasparino, and Ron Blarney. Pounds of deli meat consumed in 20 minutes.

Posted by Fox News, Feb 04, 2008 6:56PM


CNBC girls aren't that attractive and their " personalities " are as strong as Ron Paul's vote total

Posted by Fox News, Feb 04, 2008 6:57PM

CNBC girls aren't that attractive and their " personalities " are as strong as Ron Paul's vote total

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 7:02PM

I wish Ron Paul luck in 2008! Ron Paul has given me a reason to vote.

There is also another issue that he doesn't mention that I would like to have addressed, it is the way junk debt collectors sell and resell payed or settled debts. This is a major problem for thousands of citizens happening in our own backyard with their ability to hurt their credit for years. Thank-you

Posted by RonPaul, Feb 04, 2008 7:40PM

I miss Lyndon Larouche

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 7:46PM

Anyone else see sometime this summer Lyndon Larouche freaks around Wall & Broadway giving out pamphlets and other related propoganda? Weirdddddd.

Also, can we have the deli meat contest @ Katz Deli? I'll take mine juicy, f&ck that lean sh!t.

Posted by RonPaul, Feb 04, 2008 8:00PM

I miss Lyndon Larouche

Posted by RonP, Feb 04, 2008 8:02PM

i saw Larouche people on the east-side as well ..... freaks

Posted by fugly, Feb 04, 2008 8:03PM

CNBC girls are so boring and ugly that I've started to watch Bloomberg

Posted by fugly, Feb 04, 2008 8:04PM

CNBC girls are so boring and ugly that I've started to watch Bloomberg

Posted by LL, Feb 04, 2008 8:05PM

Larouche people are Hare Krishnas in their business suits

Posted by fugly, Feb 04, 2008 8:05PM

CNBC girls are so boring and ugly that I've started to watch Bloomberg

Posted by fugly, Feb 04, 2008 8:06PM

CNBC girls are so boring and ugly that I've started to watch Bloomberg

Posted by The real Ron Paul, Feb 04, 2008 9:14PM

Stop impersonating me you freedom-hating freaks.

Posted by Jackoof, Feb 04, 2008 10:01PM

I don't watch CNBC anymore so I don't care what the anchorbabes wear unless they are on air nude! For one, Cramer annoys me

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 10:15PM

a

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 10:36PM

another piece of an American meat that will be sold to Dubai

Posted by anal-tern, Feb 05, 2008 5:47AM

What's next Rick Santelli sitting down and not yelling?

Posted by Affangul', Feb 05, 2008 10:24AM

Yeah, soccer shirts!

Lazio ! Lazio ! Lazio !

The Mr. Spice shirts wit the Herbalife logo got to GO tho'

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