The new Trader Monthly is out today and since a lot of it is unavailable online and I’ve never seen or heard of anyone voluntarily buying the print edition, I decided I would read it for you and say something if anything good happened to come up. I never thought I’d say this, but something did. A profile of Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack, by CNBC reporter Charles Gasparino, which begins with, I shit you not, a quote from Goodfellas. My original intention was to humorously summarize the verbal stylings of this mythical creature, but I ultimately realized that to try and imitate/compress the work contained within is akin to etching a stick-figure rendition of the Sistine Chapel. Thus, I will simply submit this excerpt, and invite all to buy a copy for themselves (or deign to read the free one in the office). Before I do, a couple of words: I get the sneaking suspicion we are seeing the Observer Effect at work here. No Sleeves knows full well we are chronicling his every dagoesque utterance, and we submit he is subconsciously ginning up his I-talian in response to our observations. This sucks for two reasons: First, he is muscling in on my turf: this shit is getting hard to parody. Second, it’s a pose: Any pipe-banging paesano would cut this make-up wearing blow dry boy down before breakfast, sleeveless sweatshirt and all. Anyway. I can’t stay mad at him. Let us behold:
“IF YOU’RE PART of a crew, nobody ever tells you that they’re going to kill you — doesn’t happen that way. There weren’t any arguments or curses like in the movies. See, your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends, the people who’ve cared for you all of your life. And they always seem to come at a time that you’re at your weakest and most in need of their help.” — Henry Hill, Goodfellas
New York’s five major families, despite decades of turf wars and nasty infighting, have coexisted remarkably well in recent times, which isn’t surprising considering how much money they’re raking in — more than enough for everybody.
I’m speaking, of course, about the StreetMob: Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, JPMorgan,Merrill Lynch and Lehman Brothers. I’ve always found the similarities between Wall Street and La Cosa Nostra striking. Bosses. Made guys. Foot soldiers. Tribute. Sitdowns. Cozy ties with politicians. Hits.
Of course, people don’t get “whacked” on Wall Street — not literally, anyway. But they do get shot down execution-style, and such hits are often rather Mob-like. Firings are usually preceded by fake smiles. Demotions often occur with disingenuous gestures of support. Take, for example, the number Morgan Stanley’s CEO, John Mack, recently did on Zoe Cruz.
Out Comes The Knife [Trader Monthly]
Bess, you know the magazine is free to anyone who is (or claims to be) working in a hedge fund or trading? How do you think Sykes got one?
I’m sure the guys in the ‘hood’ can really identify with the ‘struggle’ of getting half ones bonus in stock.
he’s so on point it makes me cry sometimes.
cut paste the mack-knife story
no $ for login
Oh, this is f*cking classic. Gasparino should get a Pulitzer.
levin should get a Pulitzer.
this guy is such a shithead. Mob families. all he needs is Guiliani to take them down. thats not such a bad idea now that Guiliani has nothing to do.
I couldn’t be less interested in C. Gasparino. His writing isn’t funny, just sadly limited. He doesn’t even quote from a book; he quotes from a movie. Granted, it’s a very good movie, but a lot of people have its script memorized. Hardly joltingly new insights. I guess it could be more painful; he could quote from The Sopranos.
@ disinterested observer: THAT’S THE POINT. they’re not writing about him because he’s funny, they’re writing about him because he’s a wanna-be jabroni qho quotes from motherfucking GOODFELLAS!
I don’t think it’s too likely Giuliani will return to a public servant’s pay to be a prosecutor. He wouldn’t put aside his Giuliani Partners/Bracewell Giuliani business interests to run for President. Why would he do so to be a lowly prosecutor?
I think Guiliani’s current aspiration is to serve at a very high level in a McCain Administration — Attorney General, Director of Homeland Security — for a short period of time, like two years. He can’t keep his wife in Louis Vuitton bags on government pay.
You know, Anonymous @ 1:19 am, you have a point.
A similar thought ocurred to me in a foggy way after I sent the post.
Sorry. Not enough sleep.
“Of course, people don’t get “whacked” on Wall Street — not literally, anyway.”
If this was being spoken to you aloud, that sentence would be accompanied with a wink in place of the quote marks that aren’t around a quote. A really slow scrunchy wink to make sure you got the point. Maybe even *shudder* a wry grin. I’m surprised the sentence didn’t end with an exclamation mark.
P.S. Giuliani is currently spending most of his time loitering around busy crossroads hoping someone will crash so he can watch. If he can’t get at least a small part of the rush he got on 9/11, the only time he felt truly alive, he’ll probably start throwing himself into the road while the cars are just far enough away to brake in time but close enough to cause a fuss.
Bess and Chas should go on a date. Have DB set up a paypal account to fund it. Surely I can’t be the only one who’d kick in a few dollars to send them to Lugar’s for a dinner we’d get details on.
Then, if it didn’t go as she liked, she could fetch the gun stashed in the ladies room and put one in Charlie’s ear.
@ Boot fan
Wouldn’t they hafta go to Umbertos or something for that sorta situation to play out?
Gasparino is the Spider of Wall Street. This guy should go back to Canarsie and open up a deli and get out of everyones lives.
JMAN The world might be equally well served by you going back to Brighton Beach to open a smoked fish store.
@8:58
Lugar’s doesnt take credit cards so the the paypal idea wont work
@10:15, Im not russian so that wouldnt work. Sounds like ai struck a nerve, you are a BSC back office guy arent you? Clear my trades and keep your mouth shut!
Good points, Anal_lyst and Dude. Umberto’s is a better choice.
They could split a bottle of Gavi di Gavi and a plate of scungilli.