It’s probably a safe assumption that many of the male participants in Thursday’s speed dating event, earnestly taking part in this horrifically embarrassing but very entertaining spectator sport, have some sort of mother issue that is manifesting itself in their desire to be made the kept boys of much older women. But you have to wonder how many of them have gotten their actual mothers (and not their seasoned girlfriends) involved. Three? Four? Half the field? Or is Alex S., pictured here, the only one who, after taking too long to submit his profile because he didn’t want to pay the $50 entrance fee (which his new older lady friend surely would’ve recouped him for later), and was told all slots had sold out, had his mother call the organizers, begging them to reconsider the gross oversight of her little boy? For the love of humanity, I certainly hope not.
Message From Mom [audio clip]
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Posted in:
banking culture
That Cougar Will Feel Like She’s Sixteen Again When MY Son Is Banging Her, THIS MUCH I PROMISE YOU
By Bess LevinComments (54)
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that is phenomenal
it really is the saddest story ever told
ha ha
hahaha
its awesome. just awesome. he would be a real attribute to the event!
but bess … is it really a spectator sport? can i actually show up and watch the speed dating happen??
its awesome. just awesome. he would be a real attribute to the event!
but bess … is it really a spectator sport? can i actually show up and watch the speed dating happen??
Agree with 1:43…
That beats this one, http://www.dealbreaker.com/2008/01/speed_dating_scandal.php
why don’t you come over,you can have some hot chocolate and then afterwards you can maybe knock around my little alexander’s cock and balls for a while.
She sounds like a babe.
i never comment, but this could be the most priceless blog post i have ever read!!!! Well played Bess, well played.
You’ve got to be kidding me. Agreed with 2:02….she sounds sort of good looking for a cougar.
i’m a little confused as to why my mother never felt it appropriate to whore me out
I cheated on my 35 year old wife with a 46 year old cougar, and all I can say is WOW!!!! Better body, better attitude, and lastly, mind blowing sex. Cougars are ok by me.
wow JP, you cheated on your wife, you’re so cool!
@2:13-2:15 making up for lost time with your commenting?
This guy is too much of a pretty boy. Tanner is still the one to beat.
I didn’t consider it an act of being cool, it’s just normal considering the fact that I am a Wall Street sociopath.
I didn’t consider it an act of being cool, it’s just normal considering the fact that I am a Wall Street sociopath.
i wish i was cool enough to proclaim myself a “Wall Street sociopath”
tool
Well you are not, so deal with it, and the cougar just happened to like my “tool”
What I am feeling now can only be described in German, and I don’t know German, but listening to that made me feel good about myself.
hey JP, do you walk around parties saying how drunk you are hoping that someone would say “wow look how drunk that guy is”? or how about when you hear a story and then feel the need to go “yea well me too, but mine is more extreme” just to validate yourself to the crowd? so pathetic you feel you need to claim yourself to be a sociopath on a blog comment.
the “cougar” was probably a dude
JP, I just found out that I have AIDS because of your philandering. Thanks dude, appreciate it.
I am not believing this.
Hey Bess – think you can set something upo between big r and JP’s wife? I sense compatibility.
Just to put any rumors to bed, I do indeed have a penis.
JP, me and “Mr. Winky” are waiting for you at home to play…….
you guys need to calm down. JP fwiw I enjoyed reading your comment although i do question whether 46-35 is still considered cougaring, you seem a bit old for that, thoughts anyone? where is the cutoff? in my opinion, you gotta be 30 or under.
JP -
Take it from me (strippers w/ daddy issues), if you are going to make that caliber of joke be ready for the onslaught.
No matter how much you backpedal, you will end up looking like more of a dick.
Just apologize now for the poor taste in comedy (assuming it was a joke).
Did anyone notice that the title to this posting was changed? You know, to eliminate a rude word?
Seems kind of childish.
where is the inevitable hemisemi-insightful Carney post on the freakiest piece of economic data to emerge in 17+ years? or Moody’s switching to number grades for CDOs?
I tire of stifling laughter. I want to feel again the cruelty, the bitterness of life.
I’ll come in when it’s dark.
mreeeeeeeeeow… Helloooooo Tiger
@ 3:16
Leave Ron Blarney alone.
also the 7 posts of commenter @2:13 were removed. they are really getting active with the board management around here. which is great because i know JC will never let it affect our right to free expression/idiotic commenting
“he’s got some balls and some cock, you gotta stroke his schlong or at least bite his nuts!”
If you missed it earlier JC will be black out drunk until the beginning of lent at which point he will be trying to sleep off the shivers and delerium of alcohol withdrawal for the next week or so
Is he giving us Blue Steel?
Pink @3:18 You like this guy? He’s a little too Fabio for my taste. I doubt he even owns a jockstrap. Plus, I’m surprised you’re being so disloyal to Tanner.
has anyone called her yet?
Listened to the message again. I must say that it is difficult to wrap your head around the mother-son relationship there. Notice she said, “His father and I convinced him he should sign up”….
WTF?
So, the mother and father sat around and said: “Yes, the best thing for our son is to become a boy toy to a rich older woman. That is probably the best he can accomplish in life.”
i agree with 1:59
I have a brother in law like that …
I am very sorry for my comments earlier. Sometimes I forget that some of the readers here are female and/or homosexuals. I just became so excited at the mere mention of a cougar on my favorite blog that I could not contain my opinion. Again, my sincerest apologies, and I will refrain from sharing my own personal experiences.
great lets all move on
I’m dating someone half my age. His dad is an artist and movie director. Butterfly and Diving bell or somesuch.
Why are you apologizing to the homos? We’re extremely open minded when it comes to sex. Its the single straight boys who are hungry and therefore envious.
I would want my son to have a cougar/sugar mama. I would tell him that working sucks and so do older women.. That would be our sex ed talk. But the judge ordered me not to have children.
Elle Mcpherson is so hot i can’t even consider her a cougar, just a smokin older babe
Sounds like mom is angling for an invite to the cougar side of the event. “Well, if you won’t let Alex come, maybe you would like me to come instead?”
GAnalYst:
I was just trying to have my cake and eat it too. LOL… Pressing on with Tanner!
C’mon Bess, if ya’ll could break into the SAC christmas party, SURELY you can find a way to weasel into the speed date NYC thing. They had the press in there before, just get press credentials and SPILL THE BEANS. You can do it! The loyal DBGay population has faith in you!
-mrp
Bess,
Feel for the lad. He is Jerome’s secret brother from BNP. Family is not doing too well, so …. a “guy has got to do what he has got to do”". Mom said so.
Bravo!
That’s the funniest damn thing on the Net so far this year.
Oh, kind of better but also not better.
See gawker; the woman, actually his step-demon, leaves a second message: “By the way, I’m not his mother. The reason I want Alex to do this is because it would cause her so much agony.”
http://gawker.com/5002878/voicemails-cougar-stepmom-begs-rich-lady-speed-daters-to-take-son
Not as funny – hard to pin down why, but humor’s kind of slippery that way. Maybe if she’d screamed “agony” and then started sobbing or gibbering in tongues or something before she hung up? Dunno.