This Is War

Posted by Bess Levin, Feb 04, 2008, 2:53pm

I worked from home on Friday which was a damn shame because I missed a special delivery that came in a package marked "savory, vibrant, luscious & sweet" but, more pressingly, "PERISHABLE." So I thought it was good fortune that someone not named Blarney had the good sense to put it in the fridge. I thought. After the jump, behold what a certain CNBC anchor and his goombahs sent to the office under the semblance of a gift. I see it more as a threat. Like the fish in the Godfather that signaled Luca slept with the fishes, No Sleeves is letting me know via deli meat that I’m going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point in the not too distant future, one of his associates will be paying me a visit and for what? Merely sharing with the world how he likes to work out, sartorially speaking. You know what? That’s fine. He wants to play hard ball? I’m game, by which I mean watch for the package of week-old lox, coming your way. Vaffanculo, testa di cazzo, Charlie Gasparino.

i'm nervous.jpg

*If this wasn't a Sicilian message, and just a kind gesture, thanks Charlie. The soppressata looks delicious.

0Recommend this! 24Comments
Posted in: Italians Who Don't Sweat

Comments

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:04PM

Oh this is going to be goooood...

Posted by jag, Feb 04, 2008 3:06PM

Ah, good to see a Bess post amidst all this Carney blather.

Who's up for pelting Charlie with stale bagels?

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:11PM

hahaha

Posted by GAnalYst, Feb 04, 2008 3:14PM

Just curious, how big is that thing?

Posted by good luck bess, Feb 04, 2008 3:15PM

that thing is huge

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:15PM

brilliant
whose return address was on the package though?

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:15PM

What girl doesn't like to receive meat?

Posted by ive been at the nytimes for 20 yrs and i've never received so much as a slice of turkey, Feb 04, 2008 3:22PM

andrew ross sorkin is so fucking bitter.

Posted by Dick Trickle, Feb 04, 2008 3:31PM

@3:15 That's what she said...

Meaty!

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:31PM

BESS LEVIN! I hope to gawd that is a beef supersata.

Oh your grandpa Moishe must be turning in his grave right now, and you a nice jewish girl receiving traif from a goy!

Posted by Anonymeemous, Feb 04, 2008 3:32PM

she wants for breakfast ?

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:35PM

there used to be (actaully could still be for all I know) a sign in Katz's Deli "send a salami to your boy in the army". I challenge the more creative of you, that would be you 3:31, to reformat that for the current situation. I'm waiting.

Posted by KLW, Feb 04, 2008 3:49PM

Send a sausage to your girl at the office. Duh. Although, for the record, it only works if you say it like my old Yiddish-speaking grandpa.

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 3:56PM

@3:35 yes katz's still exists and they still have those signs. you can bet thats not a pork salami though!

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 04, 2008 4:03PM

KLW, I have a sausage (kosher, of course) I"d love to send you

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 4:13PM

This is WAR peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs, every cook will tell you that.

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 04, 2008 4:26PM

But look what happened to the cook!

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 04, 2008 4:40PM

Going to the mattresses, Bess?

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 4:53PM

clue rules

Posted by Johnny Canuck, Feb 04, 2008 5:06PM

A sausage-gram? Awesome.

Posted by Gaspipe, Feb 04, 2008 5:07PM

Gasparino's some heck of a cool guy .... nothing says generous and swarthy like sending someone sooprezaat

Posted by Gaspipe, Feb 04, 2008 5:42PM

Gasparino's some heck of a cool guy .... nothing says generous and swarthy like sending someone sooprezaat

Posted by , Feb 04, 2008 10:21PM

that's ugly. looks like a penissss that has cancer

Posted by , Feb 05, 2008 7:56AM

is that how you spell that?

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