I hadn't been keeping up with this Anthony Pellicano case at all but decided to educated myself after being shamed into it by one of my (many) private investigator friends who called me ignorant for not knowing the facts. So I spent the morning catching up and while I can't say the story of Tony "P.I. to the stars" Pellicano's possible use of illegal wiretaps struck me as all that interesting or something to work up a rage about, buried at the very end of one otherwise nothing to write home about article was something so contumelious that rage doesn't come close to capturing the response it elicited (it's times like these I really wish we had a two-way web cam situation going on; you could've just seen my reaction instead of hearing about it second-hand). It's a wonder I was even able to pull it together to write this post now, but it's something so offensive and just downright wrong that you needed to hear about it stat, no matter my mental state: Adam Sender, 5'4 hath been snubbed.
In what can only be described as a smear campaign against the Exis Capital Management founder, some hack at Fox News wrote up an article about the 244 witnesses named for the February 27th racketeering/w'tapping trial and not only took pains to list Tom Cruise's lawyer, Bette Midler's former manager, Sylvester Stallone, Kevin Nealon, Garry Shandling, and "Survivor" creator Mark Burnett before Sender, 5'4, who was placed second-to-dead-last and described as being "unknown to the public," but equated Sender, 5'4, with a secretary ("More Pellicano names on Wednesday, most unknown to the public, such as hedge fund manager Adam Sender and Lilly LeMasters, a former Pellicano secretary"). Outrageous. And, really, just wrong. And something that Sender, 5'4, shouldn't have to stand for. Since the Lil' Guy, 5'4, is, we're told, locked in his Kia sobbing inconsolably (his head just barely clearly the dashboard), we'll have to take care of this for him. So listen up.
Adam Sender, 5'4, is somebody, and he deserves better billing than this. Here's our reasoning: forget about the "53 percent return for clients after fees this year." Forget about the hideous taste in art (a clear indicator of somebodydom, just ask you-know-who). Forget about the Hamptons church he went to battle with Goldman Sach's Dennis Suskind over to get the place converted into a gallery to house said hideous taste in art. And just remember this:
Adam Sender, 5'4, IS 108-SCREENS IMPORTANT.
And for that, he should at least get mentioned before the creator of "Survivor," if not Garry Shandling (who, must I remind you, was a key writer on "Sanford and Son"), as well. That's all I have to say, and that's all that's needed to be said.
Earlier: A Serious Question
Tom Cruise's Lawyers Among 244 Names on Pellicano List [Fox]
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 20, 2008 1:32PM
does anyone else agree that the new format has destroyed DB?
where's the witty/stupid banter?
Posted by Nominate me , Feb 20, 2008 1:37PM
Seeing the jack lotion on the left hand side of the screen never ceases to crack me up.
Where the hell is Beeker (Beaker?)?
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 1:43PM
Anonymous@1:32 pm -- The witty/stupid banter has been in short supply recently.
Did you really register as an user as Anonymous? Awesome.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 1:43PM
@ 1:32-- see the above for the witty, stupid.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 1:43PM
Is that a lotion bottle to the right of his chair? And what is that device below the second screen from the right? You all sure all those screens are for trading and not for something else entirely...
What is he doing in that chair? Is it just me, or would watching 108 XXX videos playing AT THE SAME TIME be awesome!
I prefer the edited picture myself.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 1:45PM
I don't get what beeker has to do with this guy.
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 20, 2008 1:46PM
Out of curiosity and boredom I checked out the dude's 13f to see what he's holding.
He put his total number of shares where his assets should be. So it looks like he manages 8+ billion, when really it's a couple hundred million.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 2:05PM
DealBreaker has gone commercial and it is making me cry.
~Formerly known as Former Eye-Patch Wearing Joker
Posted by Nominate me , Feb 20, 2008 2:13PM
@ 1:45
Beeker sitting in front of a bank of screens while his fund erupts is one of the all-time great DB photoshops. The pic of Biggy Smalls Sender reminds me of said pic.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 2:14PM
@ joker-- how has dealbreaker gone commercial? what commercial site would allow its writers to list adam sender's height as five feet four inches every time he's mentioned, and claim warren buffett tells shareholders about the women he's done in his annual letter? (besides dealbook, of course).
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 20, 2008 2:15PM
@ 1:46
If the dude manages a couple hundred million (lets say 500m for simplicity), and has 8BN shares, you're suggesting that the average share price he's paid is 1/16th of a dollar?
Does it not make more sense he has 8bn under management, owns 500m shares for an average share price of $16?
Am I missing something here, because that sounds like a serious noob mistake, so someone please call me out if I'm the noob
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 20, 2008 2:29PM
The assets amount is in (000s), he put 8 million in that column.
When I saw it I started calculating his comp with a 50% incentive on 53% return on $8bill and realized he either made a couple of billion last year, or filled the form out wrong.
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 20, 2008 2:38PM
I'm convinced Dealbreaker is being shopped.
The strongest evidence:
Either Miss Levin gave up profanity for lent, or she's been muzzled.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 2:45PM
@ 2:38-- she said fuck at least ten times yesterday.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 2:45PM
the noob is whichever one thinks Exis actually has 8bn AUM
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 2:46PM
DB would be a perfect add-on feature to the NYP
Posted by diablo , Feb 20, 2008 2:51PM
Bess's potty mouth had to be restrained, I guess.
Even if Wall Street and those wretched hives of scum and villainy were not deliberately blocking DB, their filters can tag profanity and mark sites for banning just based on those words, to protect their delicate sensitivities.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 2:55PM
thats true, i have that problem sometimes but i am willing to take one for the team in the name of bess's right to free expression
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 20, 2008 3:05PM
Hey apparently Sender just did what I did for the fafsa back in the day and wrote in random numbers, knowing damn well no one was gonna check em out (...or so he thought)
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:07PM
Hey Shit-for-Brains, yeah you!
Since when do Jewish bitches give up anything for Lent?
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:12PM
@3:07 kill yourself, nobody likes you.
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 20, 2008 3:20PM
3:07 - way to step on a joke, dumb fuck.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:22PM
Anonymous I am so jealous of your user name. You should share it so we can all post as Anonymous again like the good old days
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:23PM
i don't think DB is nearly as funny as it used to be.
But you know what: just don't read it. New format or old format, but the ratings have been going down, just check alexa.com.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:25PM
Ugh, yeah, but what else am I supposed to read? What a dilemma.
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 20, 2008 3:30PM
If Juan Carney can figure out how switch 'guest' to 'anonymous' I'll gladly take one for the DB team.
Need something to get the old mojo back.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:31PM
(@) (@) - Anal_yst / 1:46 - 8BN shares but a lot of these are options. I'll admit i don't know how to show those on a filing (e.g. 1 contract or 100 "shares").
-the psychadelic (sp? too lazy to look up) tit poster
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:32PM
(@) (@) - Anal_yst / 1:46 - 8BN shares but a lot of these are options. I'll admit i don't know how to show those on a filing (e.g. 1 contract or 100 "shares").
-the psychadelic (sp? too lazy to look up) tit poster
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:35PM
The format and color scheme feel too much like CNN.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 3:36PM
Sender looks homeless...but he just rakes in cash.
Posted by guest , Feb 20, 2008 4:03PM
@anonymous that is very big of you, lets hope it happens
Posted by onetwo , Feb 20, 2008 4:47PM
"So, to all my naysayers out there,"
You mean people who call your penny trading bullshit, well bullshit?
"I say screw you! Yup, you heard me. I don’t have to be polite anymore—I’m not trying to get investors, I’m not trying to gain credibility."
Screw me? For calling you out? Challenge.
The reason you're not "trying to get investors" is because no one will invest with you--not because you're not trying. The reason you're not "trying to gain credibility" is because you have proven you don't deserve any.
"Everybody—and I mean everybody—in finance makes mistakes, but I seem to be the only one who celebrates them, detailing them thoroughly because they hold the keys to understanding the market."
1) Everybody makes mistakes, not just financial gurus...most try to learn from their mistakes and better themselves to ensure they don't make them again. You, on the other hand, use them as a crutch, an excuse, a marketing tool. If a batter has a bad season he probably made some mistakes, but he doesn't quit and then proclaim "MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IS MAD AT ME BECAUSE I MADE MISTAKES! THAT'S WHY I QUIT! STUPID MLB, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BADLY YOU NEED ME!". He goes to the batting cage, fixes his swing, and tries to get better.
2) If learning from YOUR mistakes made us better by learning vicariously through you, then why can't you get better by learning first hand from your experiences.
"Awwww yeah, it feels damn good to let it all out! How many of you industry insiders are insanely jealous right now? Sorry, but if you’re not willing to provide the exact details and thought processes behind all your investments, you don’t deserve to speak about them because you’re holding back...you people should be ashamed for you are cowards and frauds. It’s people like you that have made this industry so poorly understood and lacking in societal respect."
1) Insanely jealous? Once again, challenge.
2) As BSD said, holding proprietary data secret doesn't mean you're lying, cheating or stealing...it only means you have (theoretically) found some intellectual property you wish to protect. If people could patent trading schemes they would; since you can't protect them you're only being smart to not discose them.
3) "This industry" is not poorly understood or lacking societal respect because SAC, Rennaisance, or Bill Ackman are hiding their trading/investing methods...it's because they work and everyone else's (hyperbole) don't. That's called jealousy. Wall street is hated because of deuchebags like you, amongst other reasons (too many to name).
"That’s right, no more Mr. Nice [redacted]—it’s disgusting that finance, our true national sport, gets such little love and respect. It’s all due to the arrogant, slimy and secretive ways of Wall Street that keeps some people wealthy and most people poor and uneducated."
1) See above
2) You're telling me that people are refusing to go to school, college, or read millions of investment books because wall street is secretive? I would say it's the opposite: uneducated people either a) want to learn more and do, or b) don't care. But I am pretty sure my practices aren't sending signals to others not to go to school.
Tim, all i have to say is SCOREBOARD!
Posted by guest , Feb 25, 2008 10:13PM
this is a bit harsh, the guy is a little misunderstood, i know firsthand, i used to work with him. on a personal level he trys to do the right thing by his family and friends. so make fun of his aum, track record, professional reputaion, trading strategy or management style, but the rest is just a bit nasty. and as for the debate above about this site, it is clearly a joke. i am amazed that all of us really important hedge fundinistas have the time for this garbage.
Posted by guest , Feb 26, 2008 6:09PM
an earlier poster says he does right by his family...quite the opposite of what i heard....and doing right by his friends...supposedly he doesnt have any..... hes got more enemies than pieces of art... napoleanic complex...i think so
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 10:13AM
I can assure you through personal experience that he DOES NOT do well by his employees.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 10:13AM
I can assure you through personal experience that he DOES NOT do well by his employees.