Bernanke's Mother Also Available For Quotes (Not So Much Dad, Who Never Thought He Was Good Enough)

Posted by Bess Levin, Mar 18, 2008, 1:20pm

bernanke nyt thumb.jpgA lot of you think the end is nigh. You think there's no way out. You think JPMorgan is going to replace all of Bear Stearns with this huge bug, and that's going to be the end of it. And you think the guy who should be saving and holding and stroking us all, Ben Bernanke, doesn't have a clue as how he can make things better, and spare us from BugBot. Well, we’ve got news for you, sisters—Ben Bernanke knows exactly how to get us out of this techno-arachnid mess, and we know he does because his thesis adviser from grad school, whose reputation is not at all at stake, said so.


Bank of Israel Governor Stanley Fischer, who mentored Bernanke on his doctoral thesis, entitled 'Long-term commitments, dynamic optimization and the business cycle; Or, how to protect Wall Street from flesh-eating BugBots,' at MIT, told Bloomberg, "You can inject liquidity in the economy and it happens that Ben Bernanke is an expert on the issue." Not worried about coming off as biased, he added: "Ben Bernanke is an outstanding economist-- this should come as a shock to exactly no one aware of the fact that he is a student of mine. You read that correctly-- 'is,' not 'was,' 'is.' Yeah. YEAH. He runs everything by me and I have to sign off on it all. I am, as they say, running this b'yatch. And I don't just do the economic stuff. I do it all. 'Member that photo shoot with the Times? My idea. The soft lighting? Mine. The hand pensively stroking the jaw? You guessed it-- mine."


Bernanke to Get on Top of Credit Squeeze, Says Israel's Fischer [Bloomberg]

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Tags: Fed

Comments

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:34PM

that is one f'ing cool robot!

Posted by zzz1357, Mar 18, 2008 1:42PM

QUOTE: "While Fischer acknowledged the ``Fed is clearly more concerned about growth than inflation,'' he ruled out a repeat of the early 1980s when the U.S. central bank confronted double-digit inflation and unemployment. That is unlikely to happen because Bernanke's Fed would raise interest rates ``long before'' inflation got out of hand, he said."

Beyond absurd into fantasy. I wonder what Fischer makes of the fact that 5-year TIPS have a negative yield.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:49PM

Ummm... Yo DB: Saying someone "is" your student is classical (as in centuries-old) academic rhetoric.

PhD students are perceived to continue the lineage of their advisers. Thus I will always be referred to as "a student of" my adviser. And, so long as he is living, he will refer to me as his student. If my adviser ever switches to saying I "was" his student, I'll be on the phone ASAP asking what I did to get disowned.

I know it sounds weird; but, that is how academics talk -- and you should consider that when commenting on a quote from an academic typically not in the limelight.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:56PM

1:49PM - Do you post pompous, sincere rebuttals every time someone makes a joke around you?

Posted by Bess Levin, Mar 18, 2008 2:04PM

@1:49-- While you may be right about that, the situation here is that the entire quote is made up-- every single little word, including 'is.' You probably thought he said “Bernanke is a student of mine” and I based the joke off that, right? Sorry, no dice. I FABRICATED THE WHOLE THING. Did I also have you thinking Bernanke's thesis adviser told Bloomberg, "I am, as they say, running this b'yatch"? I am so sorry. This must be quite the blow.

I beg for your forgiveness,
Bess


PS-If I was your academic adviser, I would cast aside classical academic rhetoric to tell others 'he WAS my student.' Nobody wants to take ownership of a pissant.

Posted by HAM05, Mar 18, 2008 2:09PM

i wish the robot had 8 legs. stupid 4-leggedgoodfornothing robots.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:11PM

So, is it just me, or is another rate cut going to be just as ineffective as the prior ones. It doesn't matter how much they cut the rate the banks lend at if they're unwilling to lower the rates that people and corporations lend at. The only thing these rate cuts are accomplishing is profits to the banks at the expense of inflation to the rest of the country not working at banks. Fed funds rate cuts in the current market have no effect on liquidity. I was just at my bank, and a mortgage is more expensive now after the rate cuts than it was 6 months ago before them.

Posted by sales rep, Mar 18, 2008 2:16PM

If Erin Burnett says "Monty" one more time, I will punch her in the face.

Posted by Lowly Assistant, Mar 18, 2008 2:18PM

Ben is not unlike that childhood friend with the footie pajamas you always wished had some genetic mishap, staying the same size and being your personal sidekick. I don't even know what the fuck that means, but it just kinda makes sense.

Tess Devlin is a tiger of a woman!

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:26PM

Wow Bess.

Take him down, down, down, like BSC, and stomp on his throat. Stop trading with him and steal his deals. That'll learn him.

Wall Street is going back to the jungle days with a vengeance.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:28PM

No, Bess. The joke would have been good except you screwed up a few details and put too much into it. Kinda been happening ever since Cajun Boy and all that tripe. That's why I called you on it: the joke could have been good until you messed it up.

But you sure are sensitive. Web site hits dropping? Worried you won't have banker parties to crash and will have to start spending up on food? Or terrified one of your ex-dates from Bear is going to move in with you and you'll be powerless to say no?

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:29PM

Bess 1, whiny anoymous pissant 0

Posted by BottomFellOut, Mar 18, 2008 2:34PM

where did the billions from BSC go in the final week? WSJ doesnt seem to know any details.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:35PM

@2:28 - already lost, sorry.

Bess's only response need be "What are you going to do - bleed on me?"

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:44PM

did you see my monkey bernanke do his trick again?? thats a goood monkey

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:49PM

i hope one day i say something that warrants a fiery bess rebuttal. that is my dream.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:54PM

Bess, I'm afraid you are missing the biggest story of the day - Proscuitto-Wielding Gasparino whacked with ham:
http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=64084

Posted by BottomFellOut, Mar 18, 2008 3:20PM

How does Bill Gross say defaltion more of a risk than inflation?

Wacko...

Posted by Anonymous, Mar 18, 2008 3:36PM

Who are all these psychopaths frantically buying stocks???


no, 2:49, you don't. It seems like fun upfront, but the psyhcological and emotional scars never completely heal. It's a rare talent that woman has.

Posted by Random Banker, Mar 18, 2008 3:37PM

@Ass out:

I think it has something to do with the fact that people had been financing their consumption with home equity.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 3:43PM

@3:20

See Japan

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 3:46PM

@2:28 Agree with you. I've suggested an online Intro to Writing course to no avail. Perhaps Learning Annex has a weeknight course? @2:35 is probably hoping for some fellatio. I do like that this site is not afraid of posting rumors, but Wall Street Folley has better news and is updated more often. Just MHO. No vested interest, look for yourself and shop around. Actually the two usually have the same stories.

http://wallstfolly.typepad.com/

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 3:47PM

@3:43 ...compounded by a weak currency, plus chronic current account defecits.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 3:53PM

Where is Everett Stuckey? Is he responsible for any of this?

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 4:09PM

"Who are all these wackos buying stocks?"

They are the Plunge Protection Team, a government entity whose sole purpose is to prop up the markets. An artificial action to try and calm investors.

Also, to the people questioning Bernanke's actions, there is only one action to fix this mess, actually, two.

1) Eliminate the Federal Reserve. This is the reason for skyrocketing inflation. Do a little research, and you will find 2 unpleasant facts. The first is, the Fed is not even a government organization, they are a private company. 2) For every dollar bill printed, the US Government, i.e., the taxpayer, pays 17% interest. 17% interest mind you, on our own money. Why do you think gold is so high when the dollar falls off. Gold used to back the dollar, and we didn't have this insance period of inflation and deflation. We had a solid backing of monetary value on the money we issued.

Action #2, get rid of as many taxes as possible. We shouldn't be talking about freezing taxes or raising them, we should eliminate them. Including inflation, property tax, fees, fines for silly victimless crimes, etc., we are taxed at a higher aggregate rate than the medieval serfs of the 15th century. Get rid of all social programs, and make everything pay as you go.

Do this, and we will return to greatness, and not a moment sooner.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 4:18PM

Ron paul please stop posting on our board sincerely, everyone

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 4:19PM

@4:09 Ron Paul - is that you?

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 4:44PM

Are you refuting my point about the Plunge Protection Team, the Federal Reserve, taxes, or all 3?

I would have thought folks who are interested in the market would appreciate this point of view.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_Group_on_Financial_Markets

I do place a heavy blame on moronic overfed Americans who thought they could make a quick buck on the market. Don't get me wrong, they take a big part in our current situation. I just felt obligated to put the focus on another culprit, that is all.

If there is a legitimate argument against the gold standard, please do tell. The obvious answer is to bet on the exchange rate of the dollar, and I'm all for our People profiting from that. I just wonder how much of a cost we carry by this inflationary landmine we sit on.

Posted by Anonymous, Mar 18, 2008 4:56PM

Yo freakazoid, don't you know the amero is going to fix all those problems?

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 5:15PM

I think you meant "Camaro". Or possibly "Alero". But I don't think General Motors has the fix...

--Schmooze

Posted by Anal_yst, Mar 18, 2008 5:20PM

AHAHAHAH touche schmooze


wtf is "the amero" btw?

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 5:38PM

What was I thinking? "El Camino" WILL solve all those problems. It was one of the first "crossover vehicles". What can't you do with a car-truck?

--Schmooze

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