Here’s a fun one: at the end of January it was reported that Goldman would be cutting 5% of its global workforce, because (pick one) a. These bottoms weren’t living up to the Goldmany Goldman standard b. As it turns out, Goldman’s not better than everyone else (well, better than Citi but who isn’t?) c. Someone knocked over the printing press GS uses to make the money and with the new one on back order and the Kinkos employees on break, the firm was forced to take desperate measures.
Either way, 5 percent globally, not that big a D. Now some rumors going around the city’s biggest shuls seem to imply that things are worse than previously imagined. Apparently unexpected firings at 85 Broad today have people panicked that Goldman could layoff an overall 25 percent of its workforce.
Meanwhile, Peter Kraus, who took over as head of investment management in June 2001, just retired, according to sources familiar with the matter of making a firing look involuntary (We kid!…).
Remember Mark Spilker? He was the guy who cut down Kynikos founder Jim Chanos’s hedges in the Hamptons without asking first this summer. He was just added to Goldman’s management committee, the small coterie which runs the bank. That can’t be good.
Goldman, of course, had no comment (unless you consider the sound of someone laughing and crying at the same time a comment).

Comments (21)

  1. Posted by guest | March 4, 2008 at 11:30 AM

    Oops I crapped my pants!

  2. Posted by LeverHedge | March 4, 2008 at 1:23 PM

    Spilker is a muppet.
    Lloyd’s coffee boy.
    Unbelievable that a guy of this caliber makes it onto the management committee.
    Sell Goldman. Its not the franchise it once was and anybody worth their salt has left to start their own fund. Most successfully, a few of Spilker’s old colleagues, not. Like Beller and Grant.

  3. Posted by BottomFellOut | March 4, 2008 at 2:47 PM

    Agreed Spilker is very non-functional.

  4. Posted by guest | March 4, 2008 at 7:23 PM

    can we please get who got the boot ? is their mortgages trading and structuring group still intact ?

  5. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    Goldman is losing the better, hard working employees and keeping the losers who twiddle their thumbs all day and politic. By the end of the lay offs Goldman will not have any employees left who actually do any work.

  6. Posted by mrskeptic | March 5, 2008 at 4:47 PM

    Lloyd has sprinkled his magic dust by promoting all is buddies in the commodities business to senior positions within the firm. One can only wait and see what will happen from this case of excessive patronage.

  7. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 4:53 PM

    I would be careful betting against Lloyd. He’s nobody’s fool.

  8. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 10:22 PM

    Goldman only plays politics well, it has been able to fake a good reputation … i cant imagine why they are cutting off outstanding people’s jobs when they claim they are not affected by economic slowdown … Goldman is fake and run by poor management ..

  9. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 10:25 PM

    I think Goldman should sell or close down … its no good in there … whats LIoyd doing ? He is a mis-managed fellow and should be the first to step down ..

  10. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 10:27 PM

    Goldman even promotes based on false reviews .. its whole performance review process is biased and manipulated .. No place for the good old anymore …

  11. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 10:28 PM

    Does anyone know the inside news whats going on within Goldman ????

  12. Posted by guest | March 5, 2008 at 10:30 PM

    I think Goldman should sell or close down … its no good in there … whats LIoyd doing ? He is a mis-managed fellow and should be the first to step down ..

  13. Posted by guest | March 10, 2008 at 1:36 PM

    Cannot agree more– false reviews .. its whole performance review process is biased and manipulated .. No place for the good old anymore …

  14. Posted by guest | March 10, 2008 at 1:46 PM

    Is it just me, or do the last six posts sound like they’re from the same eastern european who’s pissed at being laid off.

  15. Posted by guest | April 11, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    Knew Spilker as a kid. He was a spoiled, disliked dysfunctional brat then…and nothing more than a “follow the leader type.” Funny how things didn’t change for him as he morphed into adulthood. But the consolation prize of having no integrity apparently is being filthy rich…I’m sure he has no problem living with that.

  16. Posted by guest | June 23, 2008 at 9:26 PM

    i have known spilker most of his life, and while all children have their difficult times in life, no one makes it up the corporate ladder as high as he had unless it was truly earned. you sound jealous and envious and you must have failed at your life, so instead of facing your own truths about your life, it seems easier to bash other people. get a grip and stop wasting your time being negative. use that energy to look for a job and make your life useful.

  17. Posted by guest | June 23, 2008 at 9:27 PM

    i have known spilker most of his life, and while all children have their difficult times in life, no one makes it up the corporate ladder as high as he has unless it was truly earned. you sound jealous and envious and you must have failed at your life, so instead of facing your own truths about your life, it seems easier to bash other people. get a grip and stop wasting your time being negative. use that energy to look for a job and make your life useful.

  18. Posted by guest | June 28, 2008 at 10:57 PM

    I agree with the posting on Mar 05, 2008 @10:27PM. Goldman definitely promotes based on false reviews .. its whole performance review process is biased and manipulated! Definitely!I and three other people in my group complained about the review and was canned. Lawsuits are being settled as we speak. thanks 4 the money B.D. and G.P.! So unethical

  19. Posted by guest | September 15, 2008 at 11:49 PM

    GOLDMAN SUCKS!BIG TIME!

  20. Posted by guest | September 15, 2008 at 11:49 PM

    GOLDMAN SUCKS! BIG TIME!

  21. Posted by guest | October 5, 2008 at 10:16 PM

    it’s true. I work in “front office” IT. We are servants to the “managers”, and the reviews are 100% based on how well we tow the line.
    I’m getting a bad review this year because I refused to listen to a fuckup manager.

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