Female bankers in London are taking pole-dancing exercise classes. This would be “scandalous” if suburban housewives across the country, who’ve been taking these classes as well as “cardio strip tease” et al. at their local gyms for at least the past five years, hadn’t beaten them to the punch. At this point, everyone knows how to swing ’round one of these things and it’s no longer going to give you a leg up at work. Now, what would be interesting, and probably a more marketable skill? If some of these ladies (and/or gentlemen) would have the brass to attend the pole-smoking classes from the same instructor later that evening. Who knows? These services could come in handy at some I-banks unable to meet margin calls.
Pole-Dancing Classes Lure Eager Women Bankers in City of London [Bloomberg]
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“By night, she puts on hot pants and high heels, climbs a pole and swings upside down.”
Objective business reporting at its best.
Once again, I have volunteered to help any young, smart, attractive female interns who have been fired by an IB or similar firm find new positions. I am very grateful to lend a hand as much as I can. I am willing to get behind you poor, unfortunate girls. I know that life is unfair, but I can push you harder than you’ve ever been pushed before to reach your career goals – a climax in your career if you will. If you girls are wide open to new positions, I know that we can get something straight between us.
Thadius R. Rogers
Financier/Evaluator of Talent
if these girls need to take classes on artistry of being a hooker to finally feel “confident and womanly” I’d suggest they end their misery and jump into the Thames.
pole…way to turn a phrase levin
also, girl, there is a huge distinction between ‘exotic dancer’ and ‘hooker’. the latter bangs you for money while the former rubs you till you chaffe and finally agree to go into the champagne room where chris rock said there would be no sex but you wanted to see for yourself but really, there is no sex.
Hey London! I’m here to introduce you to an exercise revolution: JAZZERCISE!
Contact me for details.
-Nominate me
ha gee HAM thanks for sharing…but any girl thats puts her ass in your face for the $ is a hooker
Also, this is just a rumor but i heard Chippendales classes make you feel manly and confident, particularly when you strip down to a lime green speedo. Just sayin…
@ girl
2 words: banana hammock
-Nom me
“At this point, everyone knows how to swing ’round one of these things”
I don’t believe you.
Prove it.
@ girl
wait, they have chippendale classes?
@girl
“but any girl thats puts her ass in your face for the $ is a hooker”
I’m going to go ahead and say that 99% of the people who reside on Planet Earth would disagree with you there.
I mean, it’s obvious you’re not actually from this planet, but I just thought you might want to try to fit in while you were visiting.
@ Nom me- I like where your heads at
@ Anal_yst- Sure! I mean given the forum is my living room, I’m the instructor, and we’re not really Chippendale accredited, but I’m hammering out that last detail as we speak.
“The London Academy of Pole Dancing”….”Pole People”?….What next?
girl – what sort of classes are you holding in your parlor?
John Thain…Sign your daughter up. Since she left Duke after that sniffer broke into her apartment, this will give her a great opportunity to model that new pink thong.
While we are on a serious topic:
Maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but has Michelle CC (CNBC) always been built like that? Looks like she has two mini-kegs strapped to the front of her. Not complaining or anything.
@ I am a Dude
Word is that she is looking to get licensed by the Max Mosley Institute of Ze Punishment.
-Nom me
No kidding! Michelle C-C’s cawtabas made for fine viewing today. As for all that pole dancing, well….I can smell the hair burning from here! FYI, Rick’s (RICK) stock is down today.
I quit dancing at Chippendales because, by God, I am not a piece of meat. Besides, the collars and cuffs chafe sensitive skin and the Young Republicans wouldn’t leave us alone.
Sincerely,
-Gillette “Razor” Burns
@ Girl
Accredation be damned! I’m in need of some Confidence and Chippendale classes (in your apartment) are the way to do it, by goly!
@ I am a Dude- still playing around with the curriculum, but it’s going to range from “Why it’s Not Cool to Keep Your Socks On- 101″ to “How Not to Trip Over Your Jeans in Your Overzealous Efforts to Strip” and ending with “Advanced Banana Hammock Rocking,” depending on the pre-determined skills of the individual student.
so many classes, so little time. guess i’ll have to give up bible study
Obligatory:
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/307603
–CS
And while we’re at it… NSFW in some cases…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-2iwGeZ2O4
–CS
wise choice.
Ok so we’ve got HAM, Anal_yst, I am a Dude, and Razor Burns. Solid Freshman class. Email your banana hammock size/color preference to girl.fthepolice@gmail.com
@ Master of None- We regret to inform you that due to the large number of applicants we were unable to accept your application. Better luck next year!
“Victoria Gibbs works as a personal assistant to bank executives” according to the Bloomberg article. When did personal assistants to bank executives become “women bankers”?
And since this is still on-topic and might help out the students still looking for summer opportunities… again, likely NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qrWTIFcrJs
Warning – more remixing of songs older than most readers
–CS
girl: Let me know if you need any help with this. I’m assuming that, based on the 05 tag, the ravages of age have not yet overtaken HAM and he might be an especially interesting student. GAnalYst
getting excited about the classes. really need to learn how to take off those darn socks.
GAnalYst, bring the champers and we’re on.
@ I am a Dude, I also hold office hours on Sunday evenings if you need additional lessons. We’ll get you through this.
thanks for the special attention Girl
@girl no, every girl who puts her ass in my face is not a hooker. a prostitute, definitely. but not a hooker.
@4:40
what the fuck is the diff
“pole smoking” – is it me or did you all miss that Bess quip.
Also “Girl”… the amount of female bankers that put their asses in (or close to)my face in the vain hope of increasing their “likability” and subsequent bonus is amazing… you think I should shout out “get back you whore of Baelzebab”… i think HR would have a interview with me without coffee… I just shut up smile and pay up… cest la vie..
does that make me a whore paying pervert… probably, but life is good… p.s tell me you never wore a short skirt to work???
@I’m A Dude hooker is a subset of prostitute. anyone who sells themself is a prostitute. strippers are nudity prostitutes. hookers are sex prostitutes. bankers are works prostitutes. etc.
Aha. thanks for enlightening me. i had no idea there were so many types of prostitutes. maybe i need to expand my horizons.