Mo Hazard’s Offenses: Subprime Crisis, Melanoma — Now Syphillis, Too?

By Bess Levin

mozilo-1.jpgWell, everyone, syphilis is on the rise. The Department of Health reports that cases of Cupid’s disease in the city increased sixty percent last year. Who do we have to blame for this? Nominations include Jim Simons, Cody and Cavuto, and Angelo Mozilo, the last one being most plausible, considering his (tanning) bed-hopping frequency. Hopefully, today’s testimony before Congress will shed some light. In the meantime– any other culprits you can think of? The shareholders have a right to know.
Citywide syphilis surge starts in Chelsea [Chelsea Now]

Comments (8)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | March 7, 2008 at 10:30 AM

    bear stearns

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | March 7, 2008 at 10:33 AM

    Hedge funds are private, largely unregulated pools of
    capital whose managers can buy or sell any assets, bet on falling
    as well as rising asset prices and participate substantially in
    profits from money invested.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | March 7, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    @ 10:33– so you’re saying dan loeb?

  4. 4
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | March 7, 2008 at 10:38 AM

    I always suspected Cavuto of carrying the clap, but syphillis? Buffet’s probably gasping for breath in Omaha wondering how his star player scored tail. I thought FBN only hired eunuchs?

  5. 5
    Posted by Anal_yst | March 7, 2008 at 11:09 AM

    gonna hafta go with “Max” Cordero…

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | March 7, 2008 at 11:12 AM

    @10:33 – I’ve been looking for the definition of “commercial real estate”. Would you help me out please. I have the sneaking suspicion that it is the place the woman winds up at when Calgon actually does take her away.

  7. 7
    Posted by Formerly FEPWJ | March 7, 2008 at 11:58 AM

    It has got to be Tom Hudson, all that sugar daddying has got him stamping the busted daughters of washed up recording artists left and right. You’d come out cleaner after a few laps in a disease cesspool.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | March 7, 2008 at 4:59 PM

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/images/1189/
    Just in case you guys weren’t sure what we are talking about…

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