Yes, the revelation that Eliot Spitzer spent 800 million dollars on whores over the past six years seems to imply that he was a bad governor and a worse husband. But up until now, we hadn’t actually felt the pain his actions inflicted, so to say we were personally upset with him or really cared whether or not he was forced to resign/got sent to jail/had divorced papers served to his sorry, cheating ass would’ve been completely disingenuous. Up until now. Appearing on the Today Show this morning was a visibly saddened, on the verge of tears Jim Cramer. He comes off as honestly distraught, and in desperate need of a hug. It’s almost too painful to watch, because that’s not the Jim Cramer want to see—we want our Jim Cramer sweating and screaming and diving off a chair into a pile of money on the floor of the MM set. Who knows if we’ll ever get that Jim Cramer back. And for that we say, you go to hell Eliot Spitzer. You go to hell and die!

Comments (35)

  1. Posted by Investorcluzo | March 12, 2008 at 2:03 PM

    in the words of the cramerica man himself: “he can’t be serious!” was cramer vs cramer at the verge of tears? c’mon now – man the f’ up. the $hit storm will blow over and client #9 will get through it just like everyone else who has been in these same shoes (he just may want to purchase a butt plug until the clouds dissipate)…

  2. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:05 PM

    “He that is without sin among you; let him cast the first stone….”
    -Jesus

  3. Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2008 at 2:07 PM

    Cramer’s just an idiot but Eliot is a compleat pu$$y for crying. A man should only cry when someone dies or his balls get smashed (physically).
    That’s fake bullshit that makes him look dumber than he already looks.

  4. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:09 PM

    @2:07 eliot didn’t cry, cramer did. and he seems genuine for the first time in his life.

  5. Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2008 at 2:09 PM

    Agree 2:05 but at no time did JC (Emmanuel, not John Carney) say people shouldn’t face the consequences of their actions.

  6. Posted by The Dungeon Master | March 12, 2008 at 2:10 PM

    “Let he who is without sin, cast the first rock, and I will smoketh it”
    -Tyrone Biggums

  7. Posted by Investorcluzo | March 12, 2008 at 2:14 PM

    if you live in a glass house, perhaps you should think twice about throwing stones. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but then again, I’m not holding others to that standard either…I’m ready to forgive the rat ba$tard now that he won’t be running anything more than his household (if the wife permits)

  8. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:18 PM

    I am going to cry if the Feds don’t do something about the value of the dollar!
    -A simple trader trying to make a living in a blizzard of bullshit.

  9. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:18 PM

    ‘I just think I didn’t know him so well’
    YES OF COURSE! So now this show is more out of shame of having defended a moron and having finally lost face, rather than any ‘personal tradgedy’. STFU.

  10. Posted by AJ | March 12, 2008 at 2:21 PM

    Wow, thats sorta hard to watch. Someone on television actually being genuine… and who would have thought it’d be Cramer with all his antics…

  11. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    BOO – YAH !!!!

  12. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:34 PM

    He will seek therapy…..write a sordid book….get a job with the State Department when Hillary is President.
    He will be more popular in the future than he is now. His wife will stay with him. CBS Sixty Minutes will profile him and how things have changed for the better.
    Cramer will be Cramer.

  13. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    I want to go on record as stating that he will probably say something like, “The revelation that led to my resignation was God’s way of telling me I wasn’t happy with what I was doing with my life.”
    People like to accept such an announcement but if you think about it …..it sort of ….well….ain’t right.
    -Rev. Earnest Lee Sincere

  14. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 2:43 PM

    If his wife would like to get even, I would be pleased to accept $4500 from her for two hours of sex with her. I’d even pay my own cabfare to her co-op. Maybe bring some flowers, wear a condom although I wont wear high heels. (OK, maybe low heels, but thats extra…)

  15. Posted by The Dungeon Master | March 12, 2008 at 2:44 PM

    I bet dollars to donuts cramer has aspergers syndrome. Look at him rocking back and forth in that video. He’s worse than bill gates.

  16. Posted by BSD | March 12, 2008 at 3:02 PM

    This, once again, brings to light the difference between “Jim Cramer” the essentially fictional character on Mad Money/CNBC and the real “James Cramer”, who by all accounts is a decent and fairly intelligent guy.

  17. Posted by BSD | March 12, 2008 at 3:02 PM

    ..or to paraphrase:
    Jim Cramer:James Cramer::Borat:Sacha Baron-Cohen

  18. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 3:20 PM

    Geez, it’s not like he killed someone. All he did was have unprotected donkey-punch anal sex with a hooker. Who among us hasn’t done that?

  19. Posted by Anal_yst | March 12, 2008 at 3:29 PM

    I ran into Cramer a few months ago on Wall & Water, and he looked so schizophrenic and disheveled (although he did have a nice suit on, to his credit), I can’t for the life of me figure out how he gets his sh!t together enough to be on tv/radio/etc/etc

  20. Posted by Invisible Hand | March 12, 2008 at 3:41 PM

    You’ll always be “seven diamonds” to us, Bess.

  21. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 3:46 PM

    @3:20 if i used to do that with my college girlfriend who was not a hooker at that time but has subsequently become one, does that count?

  22. Posted by John Carney | March 12, 2008 at 3:56 PM

    This actually got me choked up. So many people had so much trust and hope invested in Spitzer and he really let them down.

  23. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    Really? you mean there were that many people of any consequence who did not see through his power-hungry holier-than-thou veneer of respectibility?

  24. Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    JC,
    Are you being sarcastic?

  25. Posted by The Dungeon Master | March 12, 2008 at 4:04 PM

    HE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG. Carney, you call yourself a conservative? How is the business of consenting adult grounds for evaluating public servants? To paraphrase Tucker Carlson he should have gone down for all the other shit he did, his illegal campaign contributions, but not this.
    If they winnowed wall street of everyone who fucked a stripper, whore or subordinate there would be no one left syndicate shitty paper.
    You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

  26. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 4:06 PM

    WHAT HE DID WRONG WAS MAKE JIM CRAMER CRY. it’s not about the hookers! get it straight.

  27. Posted by 36th Chamber | March 12, 2008 at 4:11 PM

    @ BSD – yes.
    @ 2:05 – I’m going to pretend that the irony in suggesting that everyone stop vilifying Spitzer for going to a whore when Spitzer prosecuted several prostitution rings was intentional.

  28. Posted by John Carney | March 12, 2008 at 4:35 PM

    I’m not the one passing judgment on him. It’s his friends who feel let down.

  29. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 4:36 PM

    @ you seem to have lost sight of the fact that soliciting sex is actually illegal, no? its not like he just cheated on his wife with a staffer like most people have the decency to do.

  30. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 4:54 PM

    No wonder Jimmy is crying. Who is going to keep him out of jail now?

  31. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 5:10 PM

    I wonder, with client 9 gone who is to keep Jim’s back? Do you think he can still deliver his hot talk against Fed chariman and treasury secratory with the mob boss gone!
    It’s defenitely a big loss for Crammer. No wonder he is crying!!!
    I bet he is gonna take off the edge!!!
    The NY auto plates should read:
    “Governed by a PIMP!!”

  32. Posted by guest | March 12, 2008 at 6:16 PM

    I’m gonna put this on a continuous loop and use it as a screen saver.

  33. Posted by guest | March 13, 2008 at 9:28 AM

    If he was really that close of a friend, Eliot would have told him about gettin’ some. What guy does not brag about his sexual conquests to his close buds? Sorry Jim, you are not in the circle as much as you think. Keep riding on those coattails of the story though! Good way of keeping yourself relevant as your ratings decline.

  34. Posted by guest | March 13, 2008 at 9:35 AM

    @9:28– it’s not a “conquest” if you buy it.

  35. [...] some other things– after the prostie business came to light. Now Ness just has to get back in this guy’s good graces, which is going to take considerable more effort than I’m sorry flowers. Think jewels, [...]

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