This is the one we’ve been waiting for, people: on Monday, March 31, CNBC will air For The Love of Money: The Death of Seth Tobias, a one-hour documentary that will tell the “real” story of the Circle T founder’s death by drowning, with the added value of grainy reenactments, dramatic b-roll, voiceovers and talking heads. I’m so excited I don’t even care that the premise, “How far will people go for the love of money?” is way off base. (For the record, let's get one thing straight: murder or accidental drowning, ST's downfall had nothing to do with a love of money. CNBC should man up and give the show it's proper name: "For the Love of Cock and Coke." Help me out on this one, Charlie.)
From the preview, which we’ve watched many, many times this morning, here’s what we can expect: an absolutely WASTED Mark Haines offering his 2-cents on the guy, the widow’s 991 call, and shots of the pool where Tobias went down for the dirt nap (it’s not at all as I pictured it all those times I closed my eyes and reflected on that fateful night). From our wildest fantasies, here’s what we’re hoping for: footage of Andrew Ross Sorkin interviewing the management at Cupid’s, the gay club where Tobias’s stripper-boyfriend Tiger worked; a clip of Tiger dancing in a thong (plus the logical extensions: clip of Billy Ash dancing in a thong, clip of Seth Tobias dancing in a thong, clip of Mark Haines dancing in a thong); the recipe for the Ambien-laced pasta alla vodka Filomena Tobias supposedly used to drug her husband; and face time with personal assistant Billy Ash, AKA Mr. Madam the Ft. Lauderdale-based gay pimp (insofar that he is both gay and a pimp) who claims Tobias had a drug and alcohol addiction, and was murdered by his wife. Billy Ash. So. Much. Billy. Ash.
(As an aside: I don't want to sound snarky about the tragic death of a hedge fund manager (although we could stand to lose a few more -- market pruning and all), but the notion of CNBC trying to muster up the gravitas to do this story justice is a rich comic vein. Like the Mouseketeers performing I, Claudius. Anyway, can't wait for Monday.)
Seth Tobias Preview [CNBC]
CNBC Presents "For the Love of Money: The Death of Seth Tobias" [CNBC]
Posted by a dead horse , Mar 27, 2008 1:47PM
I called 991 once, they charged $3 a minute and the girl sounded like a dude. Total ripoff.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 1:49PM
a nice one
Posted by Investorcluzo , Mar 27, 2008 2:04PM
let's get this party started, carney - I'm sure you could get your "sponsors" to provide some libations gratis for your loyal readers (right?). make it happen people!
Posted by NotNasser , Mar 27, 2008 2:08PM
hey, dead horse, you stole that gag from me. Psychically. Somehow.
Or we were both ripped off by the same girl/dude.
Posted by NomadTrader , Mar 27, 2008 2:11PM
Awwwwww crap!! I had plans to watch Ferris Buehler on Monday night. I wonder how CNBC super salami Gasparino will make his way into this piece of shit.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 2:23PM
Is a Juicy tracksuit seriously being advertised on this site? Didn't know Belmar was home to trading floors.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Mar 27, 2008 2:40PM
Speaking of which, where's the DB correspondence with Billy Ash? I miss his bright eyes and warm words.
Posted by Anonymous , Mar 27, 2008 2:43PM
I got a PedEgg. And I recommend everyone else get one too, changed my life.
Thanks Dealbreaker.
Posted by BottomFellOut , Mar 27, 2008 2:47PM
With no investment banking and no response on these comment boards..just what are you IBankers DOING WITH YOUR TIME?
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 2:56PM
How did Showtime pass on this. A hedge fund manager trolling in gay bars with his wife in tow and she murders him. It's like a season finale episode of The L Word.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 2:56PM
IBankers don't have time for this crap. The folks here are people who move around the process (spreadsheet jockeys, pitchbook binders, etc.). If its quiet, its because they're laying low, not wanting anyone to notice how little they have to do.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 3:00PM
i think DB should sponsor a special screening for all the faithful readers.
Carney will be out on his long awaited and well deserved vacation, so we can hit his stash of Jamesons. no need to BYOB. Bess in Charge!
I'm a Dude
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 3:08PM
2:56,
When I'm streaming tunes through my computer from my iPod, my computer keeps locking up. Will you come take a look at it?
And bring me a new mousepad.
Thanks in advance.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 3:10PM
It is pretty quiet here. thought i heard someone let one rip on the other end of the trading floor.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 3:18PM
3:08 2:56 here. You have the wrong guy. My expertise is of the putting numbers in boxes variety (i.e. analysis). Your problem though is interesting. Where I work you couldn't stream tunes if you wanted. The system is locked tight.
Posted by BottomFellOut , Mar 27, 2008 4:01PM
They dont have time? 3 deals done in Feb?
What are they doing? More pitchbooks to locked doors?
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:04PM
Incredibly quiet here. Small group of guys huddled on one end with the most tech savvy detailing the steps to adequately scrub internet porn off home computers.
It really is that quiet.
Nominate me
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:05PM
any tips?
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:06PM
bess levin you seem like a nice girl (not really) but your prose is unreadable.
your obvious infatuation with the semicolon would make an english teach cry.
for realz.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:08PM
"..."...;;;;;...,,,"" <---this is all i see.
i has headache from reading bess levin.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:11PM
@4:06/08-- you guys are clearly illiterate retards.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:11PM
very weird day.
I hope tommorrow isn't the end of the world, I have plans this weekend.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:16PM
If the world ends tomorrow, it will hit third world countries the hardest.
-New York Times Headline Writer
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:17PM
@4:11
thank you.
love,
4:06
didn't say "can't read"
wrote "unreadable"
big difference. looks you got a big nerve calling people illiterate when you have reading comp issues. lol lighten up francis but i bet it's francine.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Mar 27, 2008 4:21PM
@4:06,
There's 3 semicolons in the entire piece, you dolt. Quit looking at numbers, and watch some Reading Rainbow.
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:40PM
finally back to the old DB conversations. ppl cursing each other etc. good ole times.
I'm a dude
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 4:45PM
@ lowly assistant
please refrain from name calling. you're hurting my feelings.
if you think the above is well written then we'll just have agree to disagree.
have a nice day!
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Mar 27, 2008 4:55PM
@4:06/4:45,
I mine fucking coal, and I can form a more coherent sentence than you (even through all this soot on my fingers and eyes). Your parents should be ashamed in their "investment," and renege on their loans through Yale. You're embarassing your pedigree.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:53PM
you all work at Bear, right?? That would explain why you all have nothing better to do.