“The funny part is, getting a position as an analyst at JP Morgan was far easier than becoming a hack,” a JP Morgan analyst tells Time Out New York this week. It’s their “secret lives” issue, detailing the various double lives of New Yorkers. There’s the happily married guy who loves the happy-ending, the lawyer chick who is a go-go dancer and, of course, the banker with a secret life.
The JP Morgan analyst explains how he left Yale for a life in the city but landed two jobs at once: driving a cab and working at JP Morgan. He describes his JP Morgan position as a “no show job,” which will break the hearts of lots of overworked analysts. Ordinarily, we’d ask you to guess who the banker was. But we like this guy. So instead we’re asking the opposite: everyone keep this totally secret.
But remember that the analyst with the dark rings under his eyes might not be tired from spending all night working on the pitch book. He might just be the under-cover cabbie.
I am a… cabbie / JPMorgan analyst [Time Out]
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That JP Morgan Analyst Who Maybe Gave You A Ride Home Last Night
By John CarneyComments (15)
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Very cool article. It takes all types to make this world spin.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Someone’s been drinking too much of that fake Goldman blog…
They don’t specify what type of “analyst” the person claims to be, and given the title structure within large banks like this, he could be doing just about anything. I very much doubt it’s investment banking, or even research. Probably a retail credit card analyst within Chase or something.
i was rather hoping for a much more colorful article given the title
Probably an “analyst” on JPMorgan’s IT help desk, troubleshooting the worst-on-the-Street technology that cripples productivity in their Investment Bank. Hacks, indeed.
Heaven forbid someone should deflate that idea that bankers work 26 hour days.
@ 12:38
Even boutique bankers are putting in 60+ hour weeks. If this dude has time to drive a cab, he definitely isn’t banking.
@ 12:32
JPM can’t have the worst-on-the-street technology, I believe that title is still held by the brainchild of Sandy
Anal_yst, having worked with the C IT people, I can tell you they aren’t the worst. Their problem is that they have to deal with so many branches and pieces that they can’t make catch-all solutions.
This guy is probably a custodial services analyst. Who knows, by now he may have earned his mop and moved up to custodial services associate.
The guy lives in brooklyn and most of his colleagues live in Jersey or CT. Hmmm..
It’s a great series but the family guy/orgy enthuisist made me want to vomit.
I like interesting people but that guys fucked up.
Given the endless bank write-offs, it really cant be too hard working as a bank analyst. Maybe if the banks bought some cabs and sent their employees out into the street to do some work, NY would be a better place. (Especially in the rain.)
haha “weird, skanky, clinical cheating” – that actually sounds hot.
although i have friends that maintain its not cheating if you pay for it
hhmmmm, …all women sell sex. Its just the price and how it’s paid that they disagree about.
yeah he also said “i used to do drugs. i still do drugs, but i used to, too”
the fact that he’s dead and mozillo is still alive makes me real sad (hes dead right?)
damnit 3:54 stole my line, been saying that for years
At least when you “pay for it” you know the terms: fixed cash payment for services rendered…with dating/marriage its a far more obscure transaction that is difficult to value by most any means