Posted by Bess Levin, Mar 05, 2008, 6:47am
We talk shit about Fox Business all the time, implying that they’re all drunken idiotic sluts but it’s the kind of ridicule that points to something deeper and darker, which is that we’re more or less obsessed with FBN. We cannot get enough of them with their gaffes and their pratfalls and their car wrecks and their discount 'hos. We are insatiable wantons for Rupert Murdoch’s business channel. “Love...soft as an easy chair...Love...fresh as the morning air...” does not even begin to describe how we feel. Every time Alexis Glick confuses Apple for Abu Dhabi, or Rebecca Gomez embarrasses herself in front of a bunch of prostitutes or Cody Willard’s breast pops out of his red dress, we want to bite them, but in a good way, like you want to bite a baby’s arm. Gnom gnom gnom. So, uh, anyway. It’s always been our dream to inject a little piece of ourselves in our idols, in the same way that, I don’t know, a Mets fan would want to carve his initials into a seat in Shea Stadium, or a porn enthusiast on the bed post featured in Backdoor Sluts 9. But we never actually thought the opportunity would arise. Until ten minutes ago.
We just learned the cost to buy a 30-second spot on FBN runs from $250-$900, depending on when it airs. That's right, folks-- for only slightly more than the total amount Cody managed at his hedge fund, you can achieve Foxtastic glory for 30 seconds to the delight of 6,300 or so of your closest friends. Here's the rub: While $250 is pequeno dinero, it's about twice Dealbreaker's budget and 3x Blarney's annual take home, so we can't afford both the ad and the production budget. You idiots are going to have to start manning up and doing your part -- I can't do everything around here. You: Make a video and send it to us. We: Pick the best and our publisher will send it to Fox's ad sales team. They: Either a) air it, and earn you a piece of quasi-immortality along such leading FBN lights as Fat Boy Cavuto; or b) shitcan it, and we'll reprint a transcript and audio clip of how Fox, who would blow a goat for a few extra shekels, all of a sudden got all 'integrity' on us. Either way, this shit is about to get heavy.
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 08, 2008 4:54PM
YES!!!
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Feb 08, 2008 4:55PM
Best. Post. Ever. gnom, gnom, gnom...hilarious.
Posted by watchmen , Feb 08, 2008 4:58PM
Has anybody noticed DB has an envelope symbol under the items for send email......AND IT DOESN'T WORK?
Posted by ksql , Feb 08, 2008 5:04PM
CAT at 80.33 - long time ago.....
Posted by watchmen , Feb 08, 2008 5:06PM
Bess......I notice one of you favorite words is shit. I'd like to see you buy a spot on FBN for 250 to 900 dollars unless it runs midnite til five after midnite. I love all the shit you include in your bits....it only helps we who didn't know anything but CNBC now know there is something better. Now as a WOW customer I have Bloomberg, Fox Business Network and CNBC.....throwing away the latter. As in a favorite country song the words "I used to love her but, it's all over now". Thanks Bess I still love YOU.
Posted by , Feb 08, 2008 5:12PM
Best post in a while....
Posted by chileno , Feb 08, 2008 5:19PM
poco dinero, not pequeno dinero
puhleeze
Posted by Spartan , Feb 08, 2008 5:26PM
Most Asians watch either FNB or Bloomberg esp. the very rich ones
Posted by , Feb 08, 2008 5:28PM
Best. Post. Ever.
Posted by Damien Taylor , Feb 08, 2008 6:31PM
Why not start an online tip jar, and in the commercial at the very end, quickly show the name of every contributor? I'd totally buy a share to be able to say my name was on FBN.
Posted by , Feb 09, 2008 2:22AM
pic is deadlink
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 09, 2008 5:08PM
gnom gnom gnom HAHAHAHAHA can't stop laughing
Butt for reals, i'll throw down loot, this is far too good of an opportunity to turn down.
Posted by Living the Dream , Feb 09, 2008 7:09PM
If Bess would be the spokeswoman for DB, I'd plunk down a benjamin or two. Another idea is to cross-promote DB with Thad/CajunBoy. The trifecta of obsurdity (DB, Thad, FBN) would be worth every penny.
Posted by Anonymous , Feb 10, 2008 1:50AM
Fox Busines News
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbgephMX1ag
Posted by Eric Cartman , Feb 11, 2008 7:31AM
Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
Posted by guest , Mar 05, 2008 5:42PM
Have you guys mentioned Mexicans yet?
-Fake Lou Dobbs
Posted by guest , Mar 05, 2008 10:34PM
Where's me paypal when I need him? I'd definitely throw down a fiver to help the cause.
BY THE WAY: why only a casual mention of Jenna Lee's dating profile in the comments? This piece deserves much airing and discussion. Like f'r'instance: why would a supercompetent "reporter" like her use a porn name? And also: why does the youtube clip not only disallow comments but even RATINGS?? Man, what a super-fine fitness buff! I'd DEFINITELY not make her go Dutch -- especially since "going Dutch" is typical 17th-century British Netherlands-bashing.
Posted by guest , Mar 06, 2008 7:54AM
Doesn't go Dutch and doesn't swallow
Posted by guest , Mar 06, 2008 10:33AM
Is that baby's arm comment a double entendre? Gnom, gnom, gnom?
Posted by guest , Mar 07, 2008 9:00AM
Judge J:
Since you're clipping and pasting a weeks-old post, can you tell us what BAC was trading at when it first appeared?
P.S. For all that, you could toss Charlie, Joe K. and Bob Pisani in a sack destined for the East River and I wouldn't mind. Why doesn't Ron Insana get WAY more air time? I think of him as the anti-Cavuto.
Posted by guest , Mar 07, 2008 2:16PM
commercials on happy hour are much much more
cody is richer than all of you bastards
stop hating
Posted by GinNTonic , Mar 07, 2008 4:46PM
As much as we love to hate FBN, we should give some credit to Rupert. He tried what he did for news by appealing to conservatives and the lowest common denominator. Except conservatives wouldn't sacrifice the brain cells to watch FBN. The lowest common denominator doesn't watch/care about business/finance; The mess we're in is evident of that. You have to give FBN credit for trying.
Posted by guest , Mar 07, 2008 6:15PM
LOL.
The same cooments about FBN are almost the same as when Fox News started. Now look where they are now... #3 in ALL of cable.
Posted by guest , Mar 12, 2008 8:50AM
its been a pet dream of mine to "inject a little piece of me" right up bess's ass.
Posted by guest , Mar 12, 2008 8:57AM
"cody is richer than all of you bastards"
Poignant if true.
Thanks very much, but if it's no bother to you I'd like to keep on with the hating.
Posted by guest , Mar 12, 2008 5:13PM
"cody is richer than all of you bastards"
cody spends his 22 hours a day in free time googling his own name, and then posting comments like this to articles that are bashing him! cody, get off of this site, man.
Posted by guest , Mar 12, 2008 8:08PM
Do you mean to suggest that Cody is Judge Judy? Oh man. Too funny. Great post!
Posted by guest , Mar 14, 2008 8:29PM
The Cody bashers are just jeolous of someone that ran a successful telecom hedge fund, hosts a national primetime TV show, teaches classes at an elite university, is a professional writer on the side, and is in a popular rock band.
Posted by guest , Mar 15, 2008 8:31PM
Everyone ripping on Cody, until you start a highly successful hedge fund and then on the side become a famous TV show host, teach college classes, write for pay at the top financial publications, and join a rock band, you haven't earned the right to talk down Cody.
Posted by guest , Mar 18, 2008 10:02AM
Last two posts = cody
fo sho
Posted by guest , Mar 18, 2008 10:07AM
Not necessarily, it might be Cody's mom
Posted by guest , Mar 20, 2008 10:11AM
so... when does the video air?
Posted by guest , Mar 21, 2008 5:18PM
Good afternoon gentlemen and Happy Easter to all. It's me - Judge Judy and, believe you me, I'm not Cody (or his mom). Or as the Gasbagarumor would say - "Listen up yous guys, I'm da judge jewd and if yous calls me the Codster once more time, I'z gonaa breaka you face."
Did all of you hear Erin end an argument on CNBC yesterday by telling people not to "pull a Gasparino"? Thank you Erin.
So the eat your heart out boys, Judge Judy has cooked up a sexy little number for her favorite easter bunny this evening, complete with a pink thong. I will be hiding easter eggs in various key locations for him to find. Mmmmm. Can you feel the love tonight?
Posted by guest , Mar 26, 2008 6:24PM
so judge judy was not me (the orginal commenter on cody's net worth) which hovers just around....more than you have
except bess. she has the golden vagina (worth about 15 mil at today's prices)
Posted by guest , Mar 27, 2008 8:34PM
Cody Willard was one of the top telecom hedge fund managers, one of the top financial writers (with TheStreet.com and Financial Times), and a college professor (at Seton Hall). Now he is host of a highly popular national TV program.
Posted by guest , Mar 28, 2008 1:41PM
@ 8:34,
You're pathetic.
Posted by guest , Mar 30, 2008 7:15PM
@8:34....I turned that FBN Happy Hour show on only once a few weeks back. I thought, "Who is that fucking asshole with the long hair? This show is a waste of time." I turned it the fuck off, and I haven't watched it since. I didn't know his name is Cody until I read some of the postings here.
That guy Cody looks like a dick with ears, except that you can't see his ears because of all that dumbass-looking hair.
That damn show must be Fox's answer to the CNBC Cramer's Comedy Hour.
FBN and CNBC will keep running those shows as long as you clowns keep watching.
Posted by guest , Mar 31, 2008 1:19AM
@ 7:15
No one watches FBN. They only get 6,000 viewers a day and probably even less for the Cody show. I think CNBC gets ratings about 40 times more.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:54PM
http://cody.blogs.foxbusiness.com
yep
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2008 2:03PM
I might actually watch the cody show if it was just hosted by the chick and they didn't allow cody on it.
Posted by guest , Apr 12, 2008 3:26AM
wow, this is why cody does well, because everyone underestimates him
-j.alt
Posted by guest , May 26, 2008 6:01PM
Alright all you red-blooded sex starved bastards.....isn't Rebecca Gomez on FOX Happy Hour ..... sumpin else? I think she's what I'd like to have in my bedroom closet and no one mentions her when they start talkin' Money Honeys......I only watch the show to check out the barstools.