This Could've Been You

Posted by Bess Levin, Mar 18, 2008, 11:47am

Gather 'round everyone and listen close because I'm only going to say this once-- yes, it's really quite a tragedy what's going on over at Bear Stearns. Yes, a lot of people are going to get canned, and yes, there won't be enough summer internships to go around and yes, dollars to donuts, Jimmy Cayne's got a few bad highs coming his way. But let's get a little perspective: few, if any of you are receiving sub-par lap dances. You should count your lucky stars; Stephen Chang didn't have such good fortune. According to a lawsuit filed in Manhattan yesterday afternoon, the securities trader claims he was injured when a stripper doing her thang swiveled too closely, and smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe. This all happened back in November at the Hot Lap Dance Club, which is a great name for a business and one I’ll be stealing for the hedge fund I plan on starting within the next five years (Hot Lap Dance Club Capital). Unfortunately, the attorney representing the injured party declined to disclose the name of the brokerage fund where the victim works, and there are about a billion Stephen Changs listed on Bloomberg. Ball's in your court.


NYC Trader Files Lawsuit Claiming Lap Dance Injury [AP]

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Comments

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 12:03PM

Houston in the 1990s had the best lap dance clubs in the world and you could expense them off on your gas brokers credit card.

Jimmy Crack Korn, East Texas Gas Trader

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 12:04PM

firms had already significantly cut back their summer internship programs

Posted by Anal_yst, Mar 18, 2008 12:21PM

Theres a stephen chang @ BofA and Citigroup...good thing the news can check Finra

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 12:41PM

@12:03 I bet one of the largest land owners in Colorado knows all about that... Amazing how those at the top (Enron in this case and Mr. HIGH and Mighty in BSC's case) typically leave wealthy (and for the most part free) while the poor saps are left holding the bag. It's good to get a huge slice of the Pai, err pie!

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:06PM

Lou sold his land. He's back in Sugarland with his stripper wife gettin' all stanky again.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:07PM

Lou sold his ranch and is back in Houston wif his new ho wife.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:12PM

@1:06 and 1:07 Thanks for the update. Maybe he should upgrade with some 'younger' talent? Surely he was smart enough the second round to get the paperwork in order to not lose HALF again?

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:37PM

Yeah I haven't had any luck finding wall st internships so far (ex-GS, getting a masters in finance) But i hear of former coworkers getting laid off left and right, so i guess i left in time.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 1:39PM

Actually, knocking up the stripper while he was married, was the best thing that ever happened to Lou. His wife divorced him, he was forced to sell all of his ENE stock near the highs. Even though his wife got half , he wan't left holding the bag with worthless stock when ENE imploded.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:02PM

Moral of the story; sex with strippers is always a good thing.

This also covered him from any prosecution on insider trading charges so sex with strippers is a very, very good thing.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:32PM

Back to the point. If this guy's real and a trader, surely one of the DB readers noticed that Steve Chang walked into the office recently missing an eye or sporting a bevy of new stitches.

Unless he works at BSC, that is.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 2:39PM

Bloomberg only has six Stephen Changs (if you exclude the Stevens):

1) Progen Pharma Chairman in Australia. No.

2) JF Asset Management portfolio manager in Hong Kong. No.

3) JPM guy in Hong Kong. no.

4) Bank Julius Baer in NYC? Looks good. 42 hits today on Bloomberg too.

5) Banc of America in NYC. 70 hits on Bloomberg. Hmm.

6) Stephen Francis Wen Chang in London. No.

So it's either Julius Baer or BofA. No extra information on either of the their profiles either.

Doesn't BAC use Bridge?

Posted by Anal_yst, Mar 18, 2008 5:03PM

Like i said, you'd think someone @ AP would know how to use FINRA brokercheck...

Posted by Novice, Mar 18, 2008 6:57PM

1:37,
as another MSF student, hope your search goes better; my offers so far are solely back office toil.

Posted by guest, Mar 18, 2008 7:15PM

depending on where that MSF is from, that back office offer might be appropriate.

Posted by Novice, Mar 18, 2008 11:07PM

@7:15 A diploma mill on Houghton Street.

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