I don’t think too many of you will disagree with me when I say you’re psyched that Eliot Spitzer fucked a hooker and got caught. And that’s cool, I don’t begrudge you your satisfaction in seeing the bane of Wall Street’s existence taking it up the A. I imagine it feels pretty good. But I’m envious. I have to write about it, and while it’s a pretty funny story, I don’t have the same personal connection/vendetta. Sure, I was talking with my father earlier, and he reminded me that we stayed at the Mayflower Hotel, where things between Client 9 and Kristen went down, when I was in third grade, along with two of my grandparents, both of whom survived the Holocaust, I guess to try and make me feel better, but that’s not really a big D. Who gives an F? But speaking of A? We just received word that Heidi Fleiss agrees with my theory about what the “basic” but “not safe” sex that Spitz requested entailed. Fleiss told Radar“I’m sure he wanted anal sex without condoms” which is exactly what this girl said circa half past two yesterday afternoon. And suddenly, I’m bursting with pride? I’m P’ing myself on the B? I’m taking the time to consider all the potential jokes to be made at Spitz’s expense by way of 2000’s Billy Eliot, the story of “a talented young boy who becomes torn between his unexpected love of dance and the disintegration of his family?” Yes, yes and hell yes.
Fleiss Advice: Avoiding an Eliot Mess [Radar]
Where Do I Fit Into The Spitzer Story?
And: How to Think About Ness-Related Euphemisms for Bareback Rectal-Steamrolling
By Bess Levin
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And nobody knows the this subject more than ‘Backdoor Bessie’… Oy vey!
What happened to the quality of DB’s posts? News and value add are gone. Just b/c you’ll use words like “fuck” or “anal sex” doesn’t mean it’s worth reading.
@ 4:54…you’re an idiot. and “anal sex” was a quote.
So were 100% certain it wasn’t a BJ? I think the technical term is BBBJ….
Priceless. There is an unlimited potential for the whole Spitz saga.
Now we just need Blarney to grant you OT for a stake-out of Virginia Zampella and Miss Khaykin (from today’s puff WSJ article – http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120519626658725819.html?mod=US-Business-News). Very. Important. Financial. News.
@5:16 – Holy fucking crap, Batman. Could Miss Alina Khaykin be the same lady as “Alana” from Emperors [sic] Club?
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/politics/ny-emperorsclub,0,3779667.photogallery
Proper picture URL: http://www.newsday.com/media/photo/2008-03/36604630.jpg
@ BSD
Not the same person, although I had to do a 5 point inspection to make sure. Thow $4,300 at an incoming first year and maybe.
I’ve made a huge mistake
“alana” is much thinner than “alina”
If Samantha is 5 diamonds, I want to see what 7 diamonds looks like??
Bess, please tell us about your field experience that would lead you to have the same conclusion as Heidi Fleiss on requests from johns.
I can’t believe this whole Spitzer thing suddenly surfaced, just in time to blow the whole Blarney/Dungeon Master story off of the headlines just when it was getting going. Couldn’t have been more perfect timing for Mr. Blarney. Kind of suspicious-like even… Blarney, do you know anything about this?
NO WAY it was A, guaranteed it was some sort of domination S&M thing. That’s the only way crazed power-lusters like Spitzer get off. You heard it here first.
If it was S&M, 7:45, it would have had to have been Spitzer dominating which is statistically unlikely (most big ego nutjobs secretly want to be spanked) – but definitely the sort of dangerous thing that no ordinary hooker would provide a john with. I like the theory…
@bsd– she said it WASN’T dangerous, just unsafe, but basic.
This investigation was begun after the IRS received a phone call from HSBC bank alerting it to possible evidence of “smurfing” – i.e. suspicious transfers of money performed to disguise the payment or reciept of money. After the IRS investigated, they discovered some of the money was going to a bank account connected with Eliot Spitzer. At that point, the investigation became a public corruption case and the FBI took over the investigation and discovered QAT Consulting and ultimately the prostitution ring. Eliot nailed hundreds of people under the money laundering statutes. He should do hard time for the crime of money laundering, just like the people he sent away are doing. Look, why didn’t he take the $80,000 and give it to the poor.
This case pisses irony, doesn’t it? It leaks out of every hole.
Speaking of which, I’m guessing Spitzer’s got to be contemplating the prospect of a whole lot of unsafe anal sex in the near future!
The guy has been using hookers for 10 years??? And he’s not in the natural gas trading business???
-Jimmy Crack Korn, East Texas Gas Trader
I thought “BBBJ” was the ticker symbol for “Bed, Bath & Beyond” !!! What have I been trading????
-The Forehead Slapper
BBBJCIM is much better.
I’m guessing the “unsafe” sex had to do with dildoes and a loaded pistol a-la Ralphie Ciffaretto and Janice Soprano, somehing like this:
“You like it don’t you, you little bitch, oh, I’m gonna give it to you good” (holding pistol to Ralphie-err Elliott’s head, while vigorously inserting dildo) “Oh yes mommy, I’ve been a bad, bad . . . BRRRRRRING, BRRRRRRING. . . “Hello, Mr. Spitzer, this is the FBI calling, . . click, hello? hello?”
Oh the flamboyantly poetic Irony, oh the deliciously squalid comeuppance, oh the joyous schadenfreud, oh hypocrisy on parade. It doesn’t get any better. These are the days my friend.