April 2008

  • News

    Write-Offs: 04.30.08

    $$$ Bear Stearns Sending Redundancy Letters [Reuters via NYT] $$$ Thain’s plans to go from MER–>GS2 proceeding nicely. [Bloomberg] $$$ The Five ForcesCircles of Hell [GP] $$$ Tips On Street Fighting from Yale Fantasist Aleksey Vayner [Gawker] $$$ Still sticking to our pledge to not make fun of charity but, man, this hurts. [TimSykes]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 5:35 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’08: Getting Fired From BP Apparently Not So Bad

    We’re told that the 150 employees BP just laid off will receive, at a minimum, six months severance.

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 5:07 PM
  • News

    Cerberus Now Taking Investment Advice From Halliburton

    ABC News reports that Cerberus Capital Management is in talks to invest $200 million for a stake in Blackwater. We originally suspected that this was merely a PR move by Feinberg’s firm to really try and live up to its three-headed dog guarding the gates of hell name but when even Tonton Macoutes-employing Steve Cohen […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 4:39 PM
  • SAC Capital

    Victory At SAC: EEOC Says, ‘Hormones Do Not Sexual Harassment Make’

    CNBC’s Senior Testes-cum-Ovaries Correspondent Charlie Gasparino reports that the Federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has closed its investigation of allegations made by a former SAC Capital employee that his superior forced him to take female hormone pills. Junior trader Andrew Tong filed a discrimination lawsuit last year, charging that his boss, Ping Jiang, whose trading […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 4:00 PM
  • News

    Fed Cuts 25 Basis Points: UPDATE

    My darlings, you are in for a treat. I just got off the phone with Carney, who called moments after the Fed’s 25 basis point cut announcement. Now, we won’t be forced to slog through a piss poor attempt on my part to replicate the post-decision congratulatory remarks we’ve all come to know, love and […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 2:58 PM
  • News

    Subprime Has An Upside (If You Want To Have Wasserstein For A Neighbor. Don’t Mess With The Hedges Though).

    Home prices in the Hamptons, where rich and famous New Yorkers spend summers by the sea, fell in the first quarter as Wall Street job cuts and an economic slowdown took a toll on buyers. The median price declined 7.1 percent to $882,500 and the number of sales dipped 29 percent from the last three […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 1:59 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’08: ‘Oil Prices Are Too High, Folks. We’re Going To Have To Let Some Of You Go. Revenue Pressure, You Know How It Is.’

    BP has supposedly relieved about 150 employees (“Front office, some traders included”) of their duties. No word on severance.

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 1:27 PM
  • GLG Partners

    GLG Partners Now Hiring (Provided Departing Staffers Don’t Pull A Coffey)

    Non-consultant consultants, non-existent former executives, non-departure departures. I give you…GLG Partners. The London-based hedge fund, whose “star” emerging markets fund manager, Greg Coffey, resigned and then took back his resignation and then resigned again all in one week’s time, has lost three more employees from its senior asset management team. Following in Coffey’s footsteps are […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 12:53 PM
  • News

    CNN Has Finally Jumped The Shark

    Frequently Asked Questions about CNN Shirts Thank you for your interest in CNN Shirts. With CNN Shirts you can wear the news. If you have any questions regarding CNN Shirts, please read the answers to the frequently asked questions below. How do I get a CNN Shirt? To get your own CNN Shirt please visit […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 12:12 PM
  • News

    Wendy’s Bloodbath

    No surprise that, having won Wendy’s, Nelson plans to let the blades fly in today’s 13D/A filing. Still… ouch. Agreement and Plan of Merger —————————- On April 23, 2008, Triarc, Wendy’s International, Inc. (“Wendy’s”) and a wholly-owned subsidiary of Triarc (“Merger Sub”), entered into an Agreement and Plan of Merger (the “Merger Agreement”). The Merger […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 11:00 AM
  • News

    Keep On Predicting What The Fed Will Do– Because Ron Would’ve Wanted It That Way

    Just in case you missed it, we ran a reader poll yesterday to predict what the Fed will do at 2:15, in memoriam of our fearless leader, Bon Quarney. Lon loved breaking out his crystal ball on such occasions (and what visions! Don’t get me started reminiscing…), and while the DealBreaker Fed Poll was his […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 10:30 AM
  • News

    Expensive Conventional Wisdom

    For the bargain basement price of $400.00 you can read Standard & Poor’s thinly veiled mea culpa and distill from their “super new not old at all” methodology that Junior “AAA” tranches of defaulted, mortgage backed CDOs will recover about $0.35 and Senior “AAA” $0.60. Your tranche is rated “A”? Punt. Criteria: Recovery Assumptions Revised […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 9:48 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 4.30.08

    GM Reports Preliminary First Quarter 2008 Financial Results What, did GM become a Wall St. bank? The company lost $3.3 billion in the quarter, related to various things including GMAC stuff and a strike at American Axle. The good news: on an adjusted basis, it only lost $350 million, which is at least believable. If […]

    / Apr 30, 2008 at 7:41 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 04.29.08

    $$$ Citi knocks another one out of the park. [WSJ] $$$ Pilgrimage, Part VII: “You Don’t Want to Let Him Down” [JeffMatthews] $$$ V [WallStrip]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 5:37 PM
  • News

    The British Tradition Of Principles Based Regulation (Like The Principle Of “You’ll Keep Your Mouth Shut If You Know What’s Good For You”)

    Presented without comment: The Bank of England has imposed a permanent news blackout on its £50bn-plus plan to ease the credit crunch. […] Requests under the Freedom of Information Act are to be denied. Details will be kept secret even after 30 years – the period after which all but the most sensitive state documents […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 5:26 PM
  • News

    Let’s Predict the Fed Move — Because Don Would Have Wanted It That Way

    A few readers have noted that the wheels are coming off here in the absence of our fearless leader, Ron Blarney, and his capacious intellect and market moving insight. While I could never hope to bring the same gravitas that he has demonstrated in his coverage of the rice market, I will now endeavor to […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 4:45 PM
  • News

    Crude Facts: A DealBreaker Thought Exercise

    Facts: The Strategic Petroleum Reserve has a capacity of 727 million barrels. As of April, 700 million barrels were held in the reserve. This should leave 27 million barrels left to fill. Early this year the Bush Administration indicated it wants to have the reserve full by September. Assuming this is a 7 month effort, […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 4:42 PM
  • News

    How To Economically And Culturally Destroy Iran In Three Easy Lessons

    When I was a little girl, my father told me a bedtime story. It seems that after the destruction of the VFK ball-bearing plant in Schweinfurt in 1943, when Germany suffered severe shortages of ball-bearings (a critical war making commodity), a huge storm washed up a large freighter filled with high-quality Swedish ball-bearings. The Swedes […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 12:55 PM
  • News

    Next Best Thing To A Free Sandwich: A Bunch of Hedge Fund Guys Get Fired

    Here’s a lil’ pick me up for all you bankers thinking you’re the only ones taking it up the tailpipe– JWM Partners, the fund started by John Meriwether after things started to go downhill at LTCM, which recently lost 24 percent in its $1 billion fixed-income hedge fund this year through March 14, just laid […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 12:43 PM
  • News

    Taking Private, Public

    What do you do when your private equity returns are dwindling because you have billions of idle cash sitting around and no deals to invest in? Invest in public equities, of course. Well, “of course,” is sort of strong, particularly when your core competency isn’t public equity analysis. Believe it or not, public equity analysis […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 10:33 AM
  • News

    “Closer To End,” But Not Really

    How do you pull a bunch of LBO commitments off of your balance sheet? Sell them to the borrowers, and finance the transaction. How does that pull the debt off your balance sheet? Denial, my friends, ain’t just a river in Egypt. Citigroup sold $8 billion of the debt to private-equity firms this month only […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 9:30 AM
  • News

    Someone Is Gunning For Circuit-Buster

    DealBreaker’s exclusive “SC 13D” alert again pays dividends on the 15 minutes we spent setting it up. Today we discover that HBK investments, you might remember them from not-so-distant accusations of “abusive and improper” short selling in the private investment in public equity (PIPE) markets, or just because they manage around $14 billion, is throwing […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 8:50 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 4.29.08

    Panel to Look at Foreclosure Practices (NYT) A Senate panel will look at whether banks are exacerbating the foreclosure crisis by adding all kinds of fees and stuff for borrowers that are already struggling. The efficient markets believer in us finds this hard to believe — that banks would do stuff to make foreclosures more […]

    / Apr 29, 2008 at 7:11 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 04.28.08

    $$$ Deals: The Feeling’s Mutual, and Beefy In our M&A Roundup for the week ended April 27, Liberty’s Safeco purchase and that Wendy’s-Arby’s combo help lift overall values. [CFO.com] $$$ Rubenstein Sucks! [Talking Biz News] $$$ Headhunters: Friend Or Foe? [Mergers and Inquisitions]

    / Apr 28, 2008 at 5:58 PM
  • News

    Worth It For The Burrito?

    THE TIM SYKES STORY Mon., April 28 5:45 p.m. 3M Auditorium, University Of Minnesota, Carlson School of Management Timothy Sykes, author and former hedge fund manager was made famous by turning $12,000 in bar mitzvah money to over $1.65 million in just four years by trading penny stocks. Trader’s Monthly magazine named Sykes to their […]

    / Apr 28, 2008 at 4:54 PM
  • News

    How To Think About The Zoe Cruz Ousting, Part II: Vikram and His Voodoo

    Those who’ve been paying attention will recall that we love us some Vikram Pandit. He, of that happy, gay, elfin visage; he, of that infectiously intoxicating laughter/unbridled joy even in the face of phenomenal failure; he of that smile that can only say “Christmas in Bombay.” We love him so much that we bought into […]

    / Apr 28, 2008 at 4:10 PM
  • News

    How To Think About The Zoe Cruz Ousting, Part I: People With Terrible Senses Of Humor

    New York Magazine has a very good article about Zoe Cruz, the Morgan Stanley co-president who involuntarily resigned last November because (pick one) a. (In some people’s estimation) she was to blame for the company losing a few billion dollars b. A lot of people disliked her and told Mack they would leave if he […]

    / Apr 28, 2008 at 3:19 PM

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