$$$ Bear Stearns Sending Redundancy Letters [Reuters via NYT]
$$$ Thain’s plans to go from MER–>GS2 proceeding nicely. [Bloomberg]
$$$ The Five ForcesCircles of Hell [GP]
$$$ Tips On Street Fighting from Yale Fantasist Aleksey Vayner [Gawker]
$$$ Still sticking to our pledge to not make fun of charity but, man, this hurts. [TimSykes]
Archive for April 2008
We’re told that the 150 employees BP just laid off will receive, at a minimum, six months severance.
ABC News reports that Cerberus Capital Management is in talks to invest $200 million for a stake in Blackwater. We originally suspected that this was merely a PR move by Feinberg’s firm to really try and live up to its three-headed dog guarding the gates of hell name but when even Tonton Macoutes-employing Steve Cohen is chastising himself for not coming up with the idea, you have to wonder, perhaps Cerberus is on to something? In related news, the Hebrew Rambo, Daniel Loeb, has been heard shouting, “Whoa, why the hell didn’t I think of this!? Major firearms manufacturers AND the staff to buy them? Total vertical integration and complete dominance in the AR-15/M-16 market with no threat of anti-trust because I’m only dominating one class of firearms! Fuck me, that Feinberg is good.”
As an aside: Iraqi Army to Ditch AK-47s for M-16s [Military.com]
Hedge Fund in Talks to Buy Blackwater [ABC News]
UPDATE: Or not! Quick DL, now’s your chance! Do it before Steve! Run, Jewboy, run!
My darlings, you are in for a treat. I just got off the phone with Carney, who called moments after the Fed’s 25 basis point cut announcement. Now, we won’t be forced to slog through a piss poor attempt on my part to replicate the post-decision congratulatory remarks we’ve all come to know, love and expect from our fearless leader. Instead, please find a statement from the thoroughbred’s mouth, which I lovingly transcribed, after the jump.
Subprime Has An Upside (If You Want To Have Wasserstein For A Neighbor. Don’t Mess With The Hedges Though).
By Equity PrivateHome prices in the Hamptons, where rich and famous New Yorkers spend summers by the sea, fell in the first quarter as Wall Street job cuts and an economic slowdown took a toll on buyers.
The median price declined 7.1 percent to $882,500 and the number of sales dipped 29 percent from the last three months of 2007, according to a survey by appraisal firm Miller Samuel Inc. for New York-based Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate. Part- time Hamptons residents include Lazard Ltd. Chief Executive Officer Bruce Wasserstein and comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
Or you could take the advice of a sub-prime guru I know. Just wait until next year and buy it cheaper still.
Hamptons Home Prices Decline on Wall Street Job Cuts, Economy [Bloomberg]
Layoffs Watch ’08: ‘Oil Prices Are Too High, Folks. We’re Going To Have To Let Some Of You Go. Revenue Pressure, You Know How It Is.’
By Bess LevinBP has supposedly relieved about 150 employees (“Front office, some traders included”) of their duties. No word on severance.
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Posted in:
GLG Partners
GLG Partners Now Hiring (Provided Departing Staffers Don’t Pull A Coffey)
By Bess LevinNon-consultant consultants, non-existent former executives, non-departure departures. I give you…GLG Partners. The London-based hedge fund, whose “star” emerging markets fund manager, Greg Coffey, resigned and then took back his resignation and then resigned again all in one week’s time, has lost three more employees from its senior asset management team. Following in Coffey’s footsteps are Michael O’Connor, who traded Asian debt, equity, and convertible bonds, Udo Herschel, who worked on capital structure arbitrage, and Ben Gill, who was with the company for six years and who was most recently a global macro fund manager. Don’t take the mass exodus to mean anything, though, says GLG. The fund assured boutique shop Ladenburg Thalmann, which published a note about the surrealistic laugh factory this morning, that they’re really NBD. Sayeth LT:
“…management has informed us that one of these individuals had been dismissed several months ago and one individual was a consultant on the payroll and will remain a consultant, but not on the payroll. The status of the third individual is not clear as he is seeking to address some personal issues. We do not have basis to believe that there is some sort of exodus occurring at GLG.”
So, really, everyone should just chill. Also, don’t worry about the fact that GLG has delayed its shareholder meeting a month, now rescheduled to take place in early June. There’s a logical explanation for that which doesn’t have anything to do with the hedge fund going down– CEO Noam Gottesman, who, of former employee Philippe Jabre, told Bloomberg last year, “As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist,” needs a few extra weeks to put the finishing touches on a power point presentation called “Former Individuals Under My Employ Who Are Now Dead To Me, Which Belies The Fact That THEY NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. WHO DIDN’T EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE? EXACTLY.” Sources tell DealBreaker he’s also still searching for a sufficiently regal-looking pointer with which to draw the audience’s attention to a larger than life projection of O’Connor’s head while noting, “Exhibit A,” and then, with great flourish, hitting delete.
More Executives Exit GLG Partners [Financial News]
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No surprise that, having won Wendy’s, Nelson plans to let the blades fly in today’s 13D/A filing. Still… ouch.
Agreement and Plan of Merger
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On April 23, 2008, Triarc, Wendy’s International, Inc. (“Wendy’s”) and a wholly-owned subsidiary of Triarc (“Merger Sub”), entered into an Agreement and Plan of Merger (the “Merger Agreement”). The Merger Agreement provides that, upon the terms and subject to the conditions set forth in the Merger Agreement, Merger Sub will be merged with and into Wendy’s, with Wendy’s as the surviving corporation (the “Merger”) and as a result of the Merger, Wendy’s will become a wholly-owned subsidiary of Triarc. Pursuant to the Merger Agreement, each outstanding share of common stock of Wendy’s will be converted into 4.25 shares of fully paid and non-assessable shares of Class A Common Stock (the “Merger Consideration”).
Just in case you missed it, we ran a reader poll yesterday to predict what the Fed will do at 2:15, in memoriam of our fearless leader, Bon Quarney. Lon loved breaking out his crystal ball on such occasions (and what visions! Don’t get me started reminiscing…), and while the DealBreaker Fed Poll was his baby, we know Don would’ve wanted us to carry on with pomp and circumstance in his absence. In endeavoring to replicate that which was Mon’s market moving insight to a T, we now ask that you answer the same question a second time. So drop what you’re doing and start prognosticating. Last chance to get in. Be part of something historic. The free world’s fate hangs in the balance. And I do not mean that in jest– even though the poll asks “What will the Fed do?” which is to say, “Let’s predict what the Fed will do,” DealBreaker Readers (capitalized to emphasize how important you are) know that we’re actually telling the Fed what to do. Deciding for them. They’re actually sitting there waiting for our poll to close. So take this thing seriously, and when you cast your ballot, realize that it’s not just a poll– it’s Klarney whispering in Bernanke’s ear.
