Jeff Immelt: Is anyone from the damn public relations office back yet?
Vice President: The new girl, Tina.
JI: Wait, the hot little number who's schtoinking that editor at that financial paper?
VP: The Wall Street Journal?
JI: Right. The Streetwise Journal.
VP: The Wall Street Journal.
JI: Get her sweet buns in here. Now. Oh, and I'd like my eggs poached this morning.
VP: Right.
Tina: You asked for me Mr. Immelt?
JI: Right. So, while your entire fucking office was on vacation, we managed to divert this public stuff about Jack shooting me with our "cheaper energy" gambit. But I want some more action. I want newspapers bleeding ink about the Immer. Got it? I mean bleeding. And I want big papers. I want the Wall Streetwise Journal writing about GE. Writing about GE and how the Immer is steering it through the rough spots. This CNBC thing is killing us. Oh, speaking of, what's the story with the hit man and the CNBC people?
VP: The lawyers are balking at the idea, they say...
JI: You tell those spineless toads we'll do it ourselves. Christ, you fire the entire legal department and nothing changes. So, Betsy-
Tina: It's "Tina."
JI: ...right. You're getting the business from this editor at the W-S-Jay? He has his people write what you tell him across the pillow, am I right? Huh?
Tina: Excuse me?
JI: Look, the Immer needs some good press, know what I mean? You could help the Immer. And the Immer... could help... you. GE is a great place for bright minds. A wonderful place to... blossom. To grow.
Tina: I don't know how favorable an article anyone really wants to write about GE right now and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with where this conversation is-
JI: ...but there's also the accounting group in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, for people who are more independent. More... self-directed. Who don't need... the team.
Tina: Uh...
JI: You are a smart girl, Tina. I knew you'd see it my way.
GE's Immelt Defends Business Model, But Says 'Tough Criticism' Deserved [Wall Streetwise Journal]
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 9:56AM
EP sucks..you must get rid over her
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 9:59AM
*of her
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:00AM
Please stop overusing the "Fake Conversations" posts. They aren't funny, they aren't witty and they're weak on content.
Posted by Novice , Apr 24, 2008 10:23AM
They make for a good one-off post in the style of Fake Steve Jobs. Plus, 'the Immer' is worth it all by itself.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:24AM
ha,.. a pom!... knew it.. 'getting the business' mm hmm..
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:24AM
Yeah. Muffie is bad, but EP sucks. Hell, they both make Joe Weisenthal look good (and I *hate* Joe Weisenthal).
But reading EP's and Muffie's posts make me want to beg for Joe Weisenthal to be back.
I miss Ms Levin. :-( Hell, I even miss that what's-his-name Carney fella.
Posted by Jmoney , Apr 24, 2008 10:27AM
This stuff is gold.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:28AM
@10:24...are you an insane person? bess didn't go anywhere...
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:29AM
Disagree, very funny.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:31AM
Sorry, ep, I usually like your writing but this was weak.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:33AM
two words: MILF Island
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:47AM
I imagine Welch is running around the "home" waving a pistol at anyone using the exclamation, "Gee!"
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:47AM
Two words: North Dakota
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:51AM
ep: you're reaching with this one. I recommend that if its a slow news day you just relax, instead of generating second rate filler.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 10:57AM
The "fake convos" are good as they are closer to reality and I like how they incite those that identify more with the vp and tina...
Posted by ep , Apr 24, 2008 10:58AM
Who said it was fake? I'm Tina.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 11:06AM
Posted by ep, Apr 24, 2008 10:58AM
Who said it was fake? I'm Tina.
___________
so then you work in PR or PE? or BS?
Posted by ep , Apr 24, 2008 11:09AM
"so then you work in PR or PE? or BS?"
I think you have been ignoring your dealer's "sarcasm meter check" notices.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 11:13AM
I like them all right sometimes, and then I read them. When I don't like them I usually can tell before I click through, and *certainly* can tell before I read the whole thing and post a comment.
Is your market illiquid or something? Waiting to be fired?
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 11:32AM
I want the 45 seconds of my life it took to read this drivel back
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 11:54AM
I can't believe this is the same readership that enjoyed the drivel from the fake Goldman Sachs banker. Maybe you should try using rape as a punchline, ep, it worked for him. Lol, rape.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 2:57PM
I'm Amused, and i approve of this message.
Posted by guest , Apr 24, 2008 3:30PM
FORT WAYNE INDIANA!!!
Posted by guest , Apr 25, 2008 12:37PM
i'm french and i like it