The billions upon billions of dollars that Citi wrote down under the umbrella of “stuff we fucked up on” today (and the resulting “negative revenue” of $5.1 billion) shouldn’t give investors the confidence that C has the vaguest notion of what it’s doing. And yet, the bank’s stock is up almost seven percent. There is only one logical explanation for this surge. People want to see more of this:
Look at that face! Look upon that jolly, gay, elfin visage and surely, against all odds, you will smile yourself. That infectious outpouring of joviality is why people are doing the opposite of taking their money and get the hell out of Dodge. It makes every one feel good. It’s Christmas (in Bombay… Mumbai… or whatever) and who among us doesn’t want more of that? Buying C is the financial equivalent of giving Vik a little tickle.
The world needs more of Vikram Pandit’s intoxicating laughter/smile/unbridled joy. As I am nothing if not a team player, I’ve taken the money Carney got in last year’s accident settlement, and bought 400 shares of Citi myself. I think you should all do the same. I say we tickle torture this bitch before the day is done. Who’s with me?
that’s why i bought.
Anybody willing to fund my new company with a Billion [or maybe 2 billion] dollars. We will list the shares everywhere. I will do my best to lose most of it trading, but the upside for all of us is that the stock will go up 50% and we all get rich. What’s not to like?
waahhhhh
the ratfink shorts are crying!
too bad you scab eaters.
@11:48 Why isn’t the Fed offering ALL AMERICAN firms the same loan terms as JPM? If you’re going to loan to one firm, then you should allow EVERY firm the same opportunities. Unless, of course, you’re a bunch of low-life financiers. I think we ALL know the answer. I wonder if they have pictures of pond scum and mold on the walls of the Fed?
how can you people be so negative in the face of that smile?!
http://longorshortcapital.com/citis-new-financial-product-reality-distortion-field.htm
It’s easy to be called successful when your company is firing on all cylinders, true genius is being called successful while your company is burning down around you.
heh heh sacred cow. i see what you did there.
“How Think About”?
@12:04 there is a simple reason. just like all lenders, the Fed is interested to know if it will get its money back. right now there was only one firm with the desire to take down bear as well as the credit strength to accomodate the burden: JPMorgan Chase
@12:04
That’s a not entirely coherent thought.
Second 12:31. JPM was the perfect solution. Maybe GS could have done it, but they, as has been widely reported, are pure evil. So there is a risk in that respect.
@12:38 – and it would have been bad PR if the media figured out that GS destroyed them in the first place.
Hell no GS could not have done it at all. Its permanent capital is a joke compared to JPM.
Vikram should re-learn his Indian accent, combined with the smile no one can get mad at him.
He still sort of has one
My inclination would be to address him as ‘uncle’
Maybe address him as ‘Dr’ since he has a PHD in Finance from Columbia.
I would love to see someone start asking him tech support questions on the next call. Maybe ask him if they’ll start installing Slurpee machines in their branches.
The new Citi Branch… Part 7/11, and part bank to finance your gasoline purchases…
~SEG
Actually Citi has ATM’s in Seven-11 stores. Mostly a suburban thing, but there one in the store at 82?/Third.
@SEG or to finance the inevitable $34 pizza slice due to rampant inflation and the fact we believe burning our food is the future to our energy problem.
@2:56 that PHD did him a lot of good running Old Lane. Maybe we should address him as ‘Shithead’ given his track record, albeit brief, at Old Lane.
@3:39,
Hey we can always convert our corn into booze and everyone can get drunk one last time before we starve…
Hey we did it once already… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiskey_Rebellion
~SEG
Its time to start pouring… this week is about over…
@3:42, that is Dr. Shithead to you.
http://www.financialweek.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080314/REG/788282036/1036
Such a nice smile, he must eat banana pakora and all those toxic starters from those indian restaurants in 2nd avenue in NYC every morning.
Thanks for the smile, shiva, vikram (whatever ) hip hip shitty group hip hip shitty group!