Most people (or at least those who study hedge funds as closely as I do, which is to say “HF Experts”) agree that Old Lane has been among the most disappointing shops (“non blow up” category) in recent memory. So this should come as no shock:
Particularly embarrassing for new CEO Vikram Pandit—whose firm has now taken some $39 billion in write offs—Old Lane Partners, the hedge fund he founded that was acquired by Citi last year, was forced to write off $202 million in intangible assets related to its multi-strategy fund.
Still, you’d think it hurt Vikram’s pride, at least a little. And yet:
I am telling you nothing can get this man, or his stock price, down. In fact, sources tell DealBreaker that senior executives at C, capitalizing on the wonders Vik’s jolly elfin visage have done for their shares, have decided to change the firm’s tagline from “Citi… Let’s Get It Done,” to “Citi…We’re Gonna Make You Smile.”
“We feel the new motto projects the infectious good cheer that Vik spreads when he shows us those pearly whites,” said Bob Rubin, Director and Chairman of the Executive Committee. “If you buy the stock, it makes him happy. And when he’s happy he smile. And when he smiles, you smile. And if you go to the Citi website at that exact moment and turn up the volume, you’ll hear “The Age of Aquarius/Let the Sunshine” playing. Take note that when our stock declines more than 1%, the home page will be filled with the grimacing visage of Chuck Prince.”
Citi Alternative Investments Posts $358M Loss [FINalternatives]
‘We’re Gonna Make Ya Smile’ [TO]
Did anyone ever win the SC contest? I sent in the pic with Stevie eating in his kitchen. At least I think it was him…
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3745421312/nm0898546
Do I win a prize or something?
Too happy to fail?
C’mon! Look at the lil’guy. He can’t fail!
oh, sweet irony
Now that information overload has made most people’s memory span shorter than that of sparrows, it won’t be long before this whole subprime debacle has faded from our collective consciousness so thoroughly as though it had never happened. In a few months the reputations of bankers, whether Swiss, American, British or whatever, will have been restored to their pre-subprime levels, that is, they’ll be seen again as mythical titans possessing infallible savvy in all things financial and deserving their multimillion dollar paycheques enhanced by fat bonuses that most of us can only drool over. Until the next screwup materializes somewhere with attendant writedowns and trips to the brink and eleventh-hour rescue by the Fed. Will we ever learn?
@12:58
no.
@ 12.58 – I sure as hell hope not. How else will I get paid?
[...] after its all-too-short two years of (mis)managing money, and a precipitously falling stock price, nothing could get him down. As time went on though, they started to break him. A certain analyst made a habit of hiding in his [...]