Hi,
You've probably already heard, but the proposed layoff packages for BSC employees doesn't look that bad - talked with a friend over there, and it looks like they're going to be paid double salary during the transition period, a month's severance for each year worked, plus some kind of
additional cash bonus for people that are kept on through the transition period.The place is a ghost town though - a friend of mine who is still employed there told me that their equity derivatives desk only did something like 20 trades the other day. 20 trades in a day comes out to just about one trade per EQD trader on the desk! LOL...
The layoffs / bloodbath is supposed to start in a week or so.
Cheers,
[Former MD/P at BSC...]
LOL? More Like ROFLMAOWPIMP!
Posted by Bess Levin, Apr 03, 2008, 12:34pm
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Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:41PM
ROFLMAOWPIMP?
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:43PM
rolling on the floor laughing my ass of while peeing in my pants.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:43PM
hah, Levin hate's when people write "LOL"
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:44PM
no way an MD writes 'lol'.
say former 2nd year analyst
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:45PM
@12:44-- nah, completely plausible, it's the old losers trying to sound "cool"
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:46PM
my dad types lol all the time trying to sound young. wait, i think this might actually be from my dad. dad?
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:47PM
heard from some guys that had first year and intern offers with bs. apparently their offers were completely taken off the table last night.
reason i heard this? because they all sent their resumes to another first yr analyst in my group.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 12:56PM
Bear was supposed to give them answers yesterday on retention but has not, citing the reason that there is no clear mgmt structure at bear and that no one is regularly showing up to work.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:03PM
this thing is a clusterfuck. the honchos at JPM are talking a big game about the PB product but have no idea what is really involved in clearing, relationship mgmt, etc with hedeg fund clients. what is funny is that jpm is looking to bear for advice on how to make the pb platform, from a tech and integration perspective, better and competitive with the likes of Morgan Stanley. Bear doesn't have a fucking clue as they spent the past 6 years letting the cash register ring and not reinvest in talent and product offerings.
if JPM keeps 10% of the PB people after 6 months that would be considered a miracle.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:06PM
I'm glad the American taxpayers will be providng a generous bonus. Remember - I do expect all BSC girls to carry their paper bags with them EVERY DAY until that loan is paid off. Oh, and that loan better be VERY HOT and VERY HARD. Like a 15% to 20% rate. You all are in a bind and we taxpayers need an ample return for the risk. You all understand - right hon? You BSC girls might want to get some knee pads - a lot of taxpayers are irate and want 'compensation' themselves.
Posted by dd , Apr 03, 2008 1:08PM
i have jr./mid level friends at the bear (i'm ex-analyst)... ghost-town is right. but the offers were less. more like salary and 25% last years bone if they stay through end of may... severence more like 2 weeks per year served. not that sweet.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:18PM
@speaking of taking it up the ass for BSC, Bennie Boy is getting shafted by Dodd today. Nice! Spread 'em wider for Christopher Bernake. After watching your testimony yesterday, Ben you already appear to not have a clue. It wasn't just me either saying that. Also, you might want to invest in a better suit. You looked like a car salesman.
Posted by Anonymous , Apr 03, 2008 1:35PM
Is LOL 'lots of laughs' or 'laughing out loud'?
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:39PM
For all the people who lost EVERYTHING, you can all go ***k yourselves.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:44PM
Hi: I'm from "LOL e-GAG", a group of people organized to fight the growth of the expression "LOL" in e- communications. "LOL e-GAG" means "Let's OutLaw electronic Gestures About Guffaws" as we try to bring sanity back to e-communications while putzing around in our daily lives.
H. I. Larious, LOL e-GAG
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:49PM
incoming associates had their offers pulled last night.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:50PM
Notice how Ben's voice wavers when he's under pressure.....Sometimes his voice wavers and sometimes it doesn't. I'm sure some hedge fund is looking at voice analysis for those times as a way of deciphering where the rest of the trouble possibly rests.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 1:52PM
1:44 -
Your reply scores you pretty high on the DORK-meter.
Also, while you are not alone on this, you probably meant futzing, not putzing........
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:01PM
I've been pulling my offer all day.
Posted by big r , Apr 03, 2008 2:03PM
dimon is such a beast
Posted by Debter , Apr 03, 2008 2:05PM
Dimon just laid it all out there on the ol' boob tube, with the old boob sitting next to him (Schwartz).
And where the f*ck is Big Daddy Cayne?
Posted by bittergreen , Apr 03, 2008 2:15PM
>> no way an MD writes 'lol'.
say former 2nd year analyst <<
MD/P's at Bear are roughly the equivalent SVP's at every other bank. And you get a VP title for showing up for work on-time for 5 days in a row.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:29PM
I want Dimon to go Col Jessup on these clowns, then just get up and walk out. This is a farce. BSC deserves what they got, manage your own risk
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:33PM
Yeah, BSC isnt /wasnt exactly a think tank. No offense to BSC personnel, but it is true. They bit off way more than they could chew. Is anyone going to ask Big Al about the two failed hedge funds??
Posted by mrpink , Apr 03, 2008 2:33PM
GO JAMIE!
-mrp
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:35PM
>>This is a farce. BSC deserves what they got, manage your own risk>>
Yes in fact they got more than they deserved......managing risk implies that you are actually......ah....managing risk
which for the last 10 years or so NONE of these people have.
Douchebag.....
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:39PM
Bittergreen @2:15:
You're completely right; I walked in the door there as an MD/P, coming from an SVP role at another organization.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:39PM
hey 1:03, sounds like you're clued in to PB, what was the real deal about Bsc PB, any good, any real big funds as clients?
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:41PM
@2:35, are you a retard?? So since these guys are inept at properly managing their risk and getting involved in these Derivatives in huge size everyone else should clean up the mess?? I feel the same about Citi, UBS all of these guys. Its a joke
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 2:49PM
PB's at other firms are up huge in March, some as much as 50% in March due to the influx of balances coming from BSC and LEH.
Posted by BruceWayne , Apr 03, 2008 3:00PM
I was watching a clip of some Bear employees whining about their plight. Poor people are funny.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 3:05PM
One trade for each trader per day? Sounds like the E*Trade commercial over there.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 3:11PM
@2:49, yeah, and they'll be back down huge once the BSC acquisition is finalized
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 3:18PM
100% Cash severance & accelerated vetsing looks pretty good now...to the '07 laid off
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 3:20PM
Dimon has a whiney Queens accent
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 3:33PM
I heard over 13,000 layoffs at BSC, 11,000 with no severance, just 4 weeks notice, 2,000 get paid until June with 15% of last years bonus, balance will be considered as JPM employees, but to take JPM job, have to agree to give up all prior BSC benefits, stock awards etc.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 3:52PM
Why has no one raised any concern about James Diamond's position as a director of the NY Fed?
Doesn't this seem a bit curious considering his position at JPM and his involvement in the Bear Bailout?
How Does this coincidence pass the smell test so easily?
-The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 4:00PM
How about the Bear Group/Dept heads, IB, FI, StratFin etc
Those have to be booted first?
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 4:02PM
He passed the smell test by washing his hands carefully after using the bathroom. Anything else?
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 4:24PM
Hey, at one trade a day, BSC has an incredible opportunity to become the world's first odd-lot ECN. Don't know where to route that last share? Well, look no further, BSC's advanced single share algorithmic router can get that trade done!
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 4:25PM
Golly! Us po' folk in the hinderlands is just all broke up over you Master of the Universe types taking it up the *ss! What was it that Forrest Gump said? Well, wtf, I'm brain dead again, but you get my drift. Deal with it. Sell the condo and RENT!
The Other Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 4:35PM
Guest@4:02PM...
How about this for "else".
You must not be one of the 11,000 Bear layoffs without severance. You also must not be one of the upcoming layoffs at JPM. Otherwise, you would have more of an interest.
As for me, I don't give a shit. I have no official involvement with either of those two outfits.
Thirdly, the NY Fed announced that they are opening an LLC in Delaware to store Bear's toxic stuff. Hope is for better times in the future when Blackrock can sell some of it for them and recoup some of that $29B.
Now that's of more interest to me.
-The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 4:53PM
Hearing from compliance people there that a good one third of the brokers have sexual harassment on their U4s, and that another third are banned from operating in multiple states. Integration with JPM and its values culture is going to blow up. What I dont get is the pride that the BSC people had in the place. It was run poorly, their margins sucked in most businesses, and the only profits came from an ungodly and unsustainable amount of leverage.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:02PM
Hey, The Other Guy from Delaware@4:25PM...
I didn't think anyone other than the genius types from the NY financial district looked at this site.
It is certainly refreshing to know that another hillbilly besides me is looking in.
-The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:04PM
@4:24
HA! ROTFLOWPIMP
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:26PM
The amount of Bear hate on the street is breathtaking...
Was it?:
-Asshole factor
-Douchiness
-LTCM shirking
-Schlockiness
-"'Yo Joey" factor
-No style
-Banging, hoing, swilling, and tokeing
-All of the above
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:56PM
Hey, Guy from DE
Yeps....the rest of us hillbillies are jus' wondern' how far up the *ss We's gonna have to take on this BS. Bess? Any thoughts you hot thang?
The Other Guy from Delaware: Where the cattle roam free!
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:56PM
Hey, Guy from DE
Yeps....the rest of us hillbillies are jus' wondern' how far up the *ss We's gonna have to take on this BS. Bess? Any thoughts you hot thang?
The Other Guy from Delaware: Where the cattle roam free!
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:56PM
Hey, Guy from DE
Yeps....the rest of us hillbillies are jus' wondern' how far up the *ss We's gonna have to take on this BS. Bess? Any thoughts you hot thang?
The Other Guy from Delaware: Where the cattle roam free!
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 5:59PM
Damm! Sorry!
....We's just learin' this new fangled hi-tech stuff!
The Other Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 6:09PM
Hey, Other Guy From Delaware, will you pull your head out of your ass please. You're making us hicks from DE look bad.
-The Other Other Guy From Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 6:17PM
stop the madness. please.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 6:32PM
@ 6:09 Bite Me... I said I was sorry. Newbie problem. Won't happen again, sir!
Now go f*uck off!
The Other Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 6:41PM
Other Guy From Delaware,
Your life shall be spared.
Regards,
The Other Other Guy From Delaware
PS, Any idea where The Guy From Delaware went? Haven't heard from him in a while. We hicks have to stick together.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 7:22PM
Hey , you losers from Delaware .... go f%ck yourselves ... chimps
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 7:23PM
Hey , you losers from Delaware .... go f%ck yourselves ... chimps
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 7:44PM
@7:22 - Blow me *sshole. Why don't you go to the Chelsa pier and bend over? Enjoy.....
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 8:35PM
Jamie Dimon's accent was from the New York area -- I'd say it was a Long Island accent. Hard "g"s. I was thinking he would be a little more well-spoken than he was. I know he has HBS in his background, so I was expecting a little more polish. Schwartz was in a terrible position and came off surprisingly well. Yes, Bernanke's voice was occasionally shaky, but his testimony was very credible. Cox is kind of a dud and I can see why they left him out of the big decision-making.
I don't think the Bear Stearns people will be laid-off until the April 8th shareholder vote and the deal becomes final. It just doesn't make sense to do it before then. But then the floodgates will open, sorry to say.
Posted by diablo , Apr 03, 2008 8:48PM
Too many guys from DE here signing up as guest. I say lets ban the guests until they get their own id, lazy bums.
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 9:27PM
@diablo - I'm not from DE and I tried to get an ID, - so went to Edit profie, but it asks for my URL... I do have a blog, but it makes no sense to link it here, so what to do? I think the tech on this site is wacky, or I am. I logged in only once as a guest and now I'm logged in forever as guest I guess. Maybe DE people have the same prob. Love to have a snappy moniker - anonymous guest
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 9:49PM
@2:39: I am very clued into Pb. These geniuses just let the money come in without reinvesting in the product. Bear knows how to hustle, true, but they have no idea what goes on outside of the US and that has handicapped them for a very long time.
everyone put their heads in the sand and waited for all of it to go away.
they have no idea of what is ahead of them.
ideally, jpm's task is to do this with no people from bear there at all.
if you could have seen the bear/jpm dinner the other night: when one dines with wolves it is moot if one is guest or entreee
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 10:27PM
diablo - Dude. You posted at almost 9 pm. Are you still in your cube? Lite weight! I have been entertaining babes since about 5:30 pm. Believe me, I have not been lazy, bitch. You must be one of those lowly analyst types. What a shame. Some day, if you survive, you might have my kung fu, grasshopper. Until then, grovel in my general direction, dill weed!
The Other Delaware Guy
PS: Bess - I'm the man for you!!!!
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 10:38PM
Hey other delaware guy - if you've been entertaining babes since 5:30 how come you're posting now...they leave?
(I'm in a different time zone)
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 11:00PM
@ 10:38 - Yep. Slice and dice. Let 'em walk when done. I luv this stuff!
The Other Delaware Guy
Posted by guest , Apr 03, 2008 11:33PM
@9:49pm. I'm intrigued by the Bear/JP Morgan dinner. Who was there? And why was it held? It sounds like a horrible social ordeal, like Alan Schwartz and Jamie Dimon being seated next to one another while being (inexpertly) grilled on Capitol Hill. Is JP Morgan trying to build bonhomie with Bear Stearns so they can figure out how the businesses are run?
Posted by Sledgehammer , Apr 04, 2008 10:42AM
It was a strange event. JPM crew led by Neil Sherman and Steve Black and some other guy who spoke only once (Hernandez?).
Seething anger amongst feeble attempts at bonding.
Bear crew led by Mike Minikes. Lots of HFs represented and a lod of Bear PB Sales and Relationship Managers shitting their pants.
Minikes is trying to get everyone to stay but most have one foot out the door.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 3:58PM
Diablo...you stupid fuck, who do you think cleans up and straightens out all of the deals you and your fellow WOPs fuck up??? The answer is our court system in DE.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:56PM
The Other Guy from Delaware...I took a brief break from Investment Banking and looked at Internet Porn for awhile.
I'm back now though.
That chick Muffie...Is she really a 3-holer?
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Apr 09, 2008 2:38AM
@9:49-
the news seems to focus mostly on jpm and their interests in the pb unit at bear.
do you think they will expand the pb unit to have more of a global presence, and compete with the likes of say, morgan stanley?
where does bear pb have the most influence, client and trade wise - domestic? latin america? asia?