Here’s a lil’ pick me up for all you bankers thinking you’re the only ones taking it up the tailpipe– JWM Partners, the fund started by John Meriwether after things started to go downhill at LTCM, which recently lost 24 percent in its $1 billion fixed-income hedge fund this year through March 14, just laid off ten employees and two partners have “quit.” DealBreaker has obtained a portion of the heartfelt note Meriwether sent to the unlucky staffers, which you’ll find after the jump.

In closing, while endings are always sweet sorrow, and at the risk of sounding like I’m pumping myself up when you are down, I just want to say– isn’t it remarkable how much we’ve matured as stewards of investor capital? Why, the last time we said goodbye (talkin’ LTCM ‘Chernobyl’ Capital here – LOL*), our spontaneous combustion nearly crippled the global financial system. This time, our meltdown, and the reduction in employee headcount, is about as significant as some hobo soiling himself — not pleasant, but it happens all the time. And on the even brighter side, our risk-management policies implemented since the nuclear winter of our discontent appear to have been kinda successful. In closing, fear not, we’ll (I’ll) be back: I plan to grow the hair out, cultivate a Rollie Fingers’ stache, and change my name to Don Periweather. I figure we can raise at least as much as that hack Cody Willard. Maybe we can even get a TV gig.’


Job Cuts At Meriwether Hedge Fund
[Times Online]
* Like Reader’s Digest says, ‘Laughter is the best medicine.’ ;)

Comments (24)

  1. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:07 PM

    Right, the fact that this time he “only” lost 24% (and tomorrow may lose 124% just as well) certainly shows how Merriwether & Co have “matured as stewards of investor capital”. Not.

  2. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:17 PM

    did he seriously write that?
    wow.

  3. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    I realized last night that ‘Bess Levin’ is based on the character Juno MacGuff.
    ….sweet Rollie Fingers reference.

  4. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:35 PM

    @ 1:17
    Ya he really wrote that and Bess only writes serious articles without satire, sacrasm or humor.

  5. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:36 PM

    @1:21…what’s your basis for that assertion?
    -curious
    ps juno was awesome.

  6. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:39 PM

    wow more unfair picking on cody…dealbreaker needs a new target

  7. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:42 PM

    Models lose money, not traders.

  8. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:42 PM

    “Posted by guest, Apr 29, 2008 1:39PM
    wow more unfair picking on cody”
    hahahha…thanks, buddy. needed a good laugh today.

  9. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 1:59 PM

    but ‘bess’ (in quotes for all you guys under the impression she’s not real) has been around longer than juno…so perhaps juno macguff was based on bess?

  10. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 2:08 PM

    John Meriwether Ha Ha.

  11. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 2:46 PM

    Buffett still rules.

  12. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 3:31 PM

    @ 1:42, models cost money. Money, and bottles.

  13. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 4:25 PM

    Quite Possibly the hottest heat in the streets M.O.P.
    general Billy Danze presents “The Art Of Raw”. This
    is an album which Shownuff and Billy Danze have been
    planning and mastering for quite some time. Compiled
    of several artists from New York,Texas, Los Angeles
    and throughout the U.S.
    Shownuff The Showgunn of Harlem, alias Unknown Lil
    Richard and Otu The Hard Hitters unheard of but Bread
    for doing what they do. From a town in Dallas Texas
    known as Oakcliff where everyday thee are numerous
    homicides and the quality of life is poor and living
    past the age of 21 is becoming harder, everyday
    conditions that would make the average rapper cry,
    artists owners and the entire label are reflective of
    new age of Real street Hip Hop and what is really
    going on behind the music. These arists speak what
    they live and deliver their messages and verses in a
    way where they can be felt through their words like
    Shownuff’s razor sharp hook on “Bet It” #15 where he
    chants “Put everything you got up on the Line”.
    Delivery like this can in no way be misinterpreted as
    regular or fake.
    Billy Danze the legend assists in areas of Legendary
    experience as well as undeniable cunning and dangerous
    word play. The game has definitely been missing this
    type of music. There has never been an album where
    artists from several hoods throughout the U.S. more
    honestly the south and North that has what these dudes
    have to offer Hip Hop. This team has definitely
    bridged a gap in the game and regions and have come
    together to create a project such as “Art Of Raw”.
    Don’t look for this to be a laid back one hit wonder
    album because you will be sadly mistaken. Already
    quoted by Mass Appeal Magazine as One Of The Dopest
    albums of 08 “The Art Of Raw” is it.There possibly
    wont be another like it until Doctor Dre finally
    releases Detox or Billy Danze’s “Behind Gates” solo alum.
    http://www.myspace.com/bridgethis

  14. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 4:38 PM

    wut in zee fuck?

  15. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 4:46 PM

    he must have been googling “free sandwich” as good places to post for the audience he is trying to reach. that’s straight hip-hop right there.

  16. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 6:32 PM

    From a town in Dallas Texas … where everyday thee are numerous homicides … these arists speak what they live … One Of The Dopest albums of 08 …

  17. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 6:41 PM

    I beg your pardon, what may “The Dopest” mean in Queen’s English?

  18. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 7:40 PM

    Well, I think it means the most artistically pleasing, socially relevant recording around. I posted at 6:32pm, not because I’m into “The Art of Raw” but because the CD’s promo post was such a slack-jawed piece of robotic writing that I could think of no greater sarcasm than to simply sample it. The spelling and capitalization were straight from the original.

  19. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 8:06 PM

    Oak Cliff is like Pico, California. Tiny parts of it are a warzone, half of it is normal, and the other part has million dollar homes and a large private golf club. And Dallas only has about 300 homicides a year, so somebody there dies like every other day. My girlyfriend lives there and has a cool 1920s two story house with a diveable pool in the backyard, and she’s white like the White Stallion, not black like the Black Stallion or brown like Flicka.

  20. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 8:33 PM

    300 homicides a year is actually a pretty high homicide rate for a town the size of Dallas.
    And though we Americans are sadly used to homicide rates like these, cities in Canada and Europe have much, much lower rates.

  21. Posted by guest | April 29, 2008 at 10:28 PM

    it’s not that many compared to an Ice T or Bushwick Bill song. 300 is like the 1st verse.

  22. Posted by guest | April 30, 2008 at 5:25 PM

    Also, she’s not blue like the blue stallion. Or puce, like the . . .

  23. Posted by guest | December 23, 2008 at 3:29 PM

    @14 – I agree 100%!!

  24. Posted by guest | February 4, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    no he did not really write that. this is all BS. guaranteed.

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