Act Now

Posted by Bess Levin, Apr 02, 2008, 2:00pm

ivanka_trump_6.jpgDeny it all you want but I know it's been a longstanding fantasy for many of you to be the son (by marriage) of a bankrupt, overly tanned businessman who'd fuck you for a nickel, steals coins that spill out from the one-armed bandits when the blue hairs hit the jackpot in AC, requests gold crowns at the dentist, fetishizes feet, and has never once lost at bocce (for the non-Gasparinos in the group, that's lawn bowling). Today, there's a glimmer of hope that that fantasy could become a reality-- Donald Trump spawn Ivanka is single! She and real estate "mogul"/New York Observer owner Jared Kushner are finished, and rumor has it, she's looking for consolation in the form of a first year analyst. Now's your chance! And if that doesn't work out, Angelo Mozilo has a daughter, as well.


Unattached [NYP]

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Posted in: Donald Trump

Comments

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:15PM

Ivanka is badly in need of a facial. Yes, that kind.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:29PM

Smoking sluty rich hot. Better than Paris or Nicky.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:30PM

No contest.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:31PM

I am so down with her, ive seen her out on multiple occasions and she is smokin hot

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:50PM

I would rather beat off with sandpaper. Can you imagine what she must be like in bed??? OK, I'll give you the fact she's hot but her personality and attitude leave a lot to be desired and I can't even fathom having to relate to "The (fucking) Donald", what as asshole.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:55PM

@2:50 what the fuck is wrong with you?

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:55PM

okay, I've been staring at this post for like two minutes now, and haven't read a single word, because my brain refuses to concentrate on anything other than the picture.

Well played, Bess. This should help your clickthroughs.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:58PM

I dunno, I am stuck on this page, I have no reason to click on any further articles for the rest of the day. Unless you have a picture of Ivanaka drinking a MHL

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 2:59PM

@2:55-- how, exactly, considering there's no "click through" on this post?

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:00PM

Shes not that hot, but probably very high maintenance. Not worth the aggro...NEXT!!!

Posted by Anonymous, Apr 02, 2008 3:03PM

Are you here to meet your soul mate or 'get your jack on' as someone said the other day.

Imagine ivanka with bess' personality.

excuse me now, I need some private time.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:03PM

She is beautiful. Plus, NY Mag claimed in an article on rich kids that she and bro are well grounded. Has something to do with mom's european style of child rearing.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:04PM

Lovely young lady. I'd spend my bonus on a $20 mil condo if she helped me break in the bed.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:06PM

@2:59 - I clicked through because I was hoping there would be more pics in teh comment thread. and @3:00 delivers!

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:16PM

Jesus, having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal...

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:19PM

Just goes to prove the old rule that no matter how good looking or wealthy she might be, somewhere some guy is getting tired of it.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:22PM

In my experience, rich girls who people always expect to be terrible in bed because they are spoiled, are actually fantastic because they embrace an epicurean lifestyle and really go to town on the pole. Of course I have never slept with someone quite so rich as a Trump.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:22PM

@3:06 workin for you, bro. i know what you guys are looking for.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:23PM

Personally, I would bend her over Daddy's board room table and pound her from behind like a jackhammer at one those construction sites she's toured.

Thadius R. Rogers
Trump Short Seller/Evaluator of Talent

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:24PM

@3:19 hahah so true.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:27PM

@3:22 - Props to you bro, if for no other reason than the use of "epicurean" in your post...

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:27PM

I'd hit it!

/Dirty Sanchez

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:29PM

smokin' hot.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:30PM

After you wear the "new" off of them, they're like a TV that only gets one channel. Oh, the hardships of being a player.

-"Smoove B", Contributing Columnist for The Onion

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:31PM

I been there, done that. Ivanka is captain of the go team if you know what I mean. Im a big Thadius R Rogers fan by the way, funnya as hell.

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 3:35PM

second, Thadius is a great addition to the group.
@3:27, just trying to raise the literary bar around here in the topics about banging hot rich girls

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 4:08PM

Bess or Ivanka? And why...

Posted by BruceWayne, Apr 02, 2008 4:10PM


Does anyone know if Trump's son is a pitcher or a catcher?

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 4:28PM

I say catcher. His queer little smile gives it away.

Posted by Anal_yst, Apr 02, 2008 4:30PM

Which trump building would you shish kabob this broad in, in what room/floor, and why?

I'm going with trump soho, before construction is finished, while theres welders goin to town for that sorta industrial C&C Music Factory/Madonna sorta thing (maybe wrong metaphor, but whatever)

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 4:31PM

You mean like when Homer takes Bart to the Man-Hole?

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 4:44PM

@4:28 No way. Not even when drunk. You guys need badly to get your gaydar fixed. GAnalYst

Posted by I am a Dude, Apr 02, 2008 4:48PM

idk, in the pic in the post she's got that Donald look, with the lower lip and all.
i may have a hard time

Posted by guest, Apr 02, 2008 4:53PM

If you are only going to hit it one time anyway, why the eff do you give an eff if she has an attitude or is good in bed? If she's bad you're not going to be around long enough to get tired of it anyway.

Posted by mrpink, Apr 02, 2008 5:14PM

I concur with GAnalYst.

His son is fugly.

-mrp

Posted by guest, Apr 09, 2008 11:44AM

Feet are so hot!

Posted by guest, Apr 09, 2008 11:45AM

Feet are so hot!

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