I don’t know who’s behind Zacks.com, but the “ratings agency” just released its list of “Stocks to Sell Now” and I’m having a difficult time believing the place isn’t run by burlap loincloth clad godless heathens. Or Canadians. Z’s picks (to dump)? None other than the holy trinity: sex (Playboy Enterprises: PLA), money (Goldman Sachs: GS), lactose (Cheesecake Factory: CAKE).
And spare me the “Times, are tough, people don’t want to buy $30 pieces of cake,” “I get my porn on the internet,” "I read Goldman annual reports for the letters to shareholders. And anyhow, they over use the airbrush and under use the Brazillian" BS.
I think you can guess who’s just as riled up about this smear campaign. Hint: he consumes all three products in abundance.
Zacks Sell List Highlights [BusinessWire]
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 3:51PM
shocked playboy has not done a "women of dealbreaker" yet.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 3:59PM
Bolt-ons arent that attractive...NEXT!!!
Posted by ep , Apr 04, 2008 4:01PM
We are holding out for a better offer.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:02PM
@3:59
Exactly! They just don't bounce and fly around they way real ones do when you're banging her like a screened door in a hurricane.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:07PM
That video made my day.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:29PM
Fantastic vid. Now I know what the price to sales ratio is, and its application in stock valuation. Thank you fat stocktipguy, thank you.
Posted by NomadTrader , Apr 04, 2008 4:36PM
Damn! All this time I been ignoring this genius. Can turn my whole investment life around in just 2 weeks. Yea, but can he trade NG or forex?
My only question is: Now that www.askbilly.com is "off the vibe", where does Cramer's kin get his info?
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:50PM
Unlike most Playboy models, Value Stock Tips Guy has tits that fly around when you bang him like a screen door in a hurricane.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 4:52PM
Bolt-ons beat a small B
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Apr 04, 2008 4:53PM
Why doesn't it get old? I don't get it. It just seems better and better each time.
Posted by Anonymous , Apr 04, 2008 4:58PM
IN RE the Brazillian comment:
I think Hugh's target market is probably 40+ white males who aren't all that comfortable with baldness. I can think of no other reason why they don't embrace and celebrate it. I do.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 5:03PM
Anonymous
To much information.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 5:05PM
Lowly Assistant...Its funny you feel that way, your wife tells me the same thing.
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Apr 04, 2008 5:13PM
@ 4:50, you just made me spit beer at my monitors... Thank you for the laugh, but way TOO wrong of a mental image there...
unlike you slaves...
Stupid people are allowed to have a cold beer next to the monitors after market close...
Thanks for the laughs this week DB'ers... stay safe out there kids, until its Monday and we return to this knife fight we call the markets...
Best,
~SEG
Posted by mrpink , Apr 04, 2008 5:19PM
...unlike you slave
Stupider people in fixed income are allowed to drink whiskey straight out of the bottle 30 minutes after bonds open
jus jokin (I do have a lil whiskey in the drawer for monday am).. have a good weekend all
-mrp
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 5:33PM
That's a 1989 Playboy, late fall
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 5:34PM
at least he didnt say he'd make her squeal like a stuck pig at a barbecue...
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Apr 04, 2008 5:47PM
@ 5:33,
You recognized the August WSJ in her hand... ?
~SEG
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 5:47PM
Fake tits also take out the fun of making her hold onto them during the act, because it's not like they're going to move if she doesn't hold on.
And with that pleasant thought, I wish you all a good weekend.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 6:01PM
5:47
Did it from recall, I was close
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 6:10PM
valuestock tip fat guy just made my life worth living
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 6:26PM
In the land of the blond the one eyed man is king.
Think about what you can accomplish if Fat Value Stock Tip Guy is typical of the average investor.
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Apr 04, 2008 6:30PM
I remember fall 89, I was in college... West Coast... I remember land surfing the big quake during the opening minutes of the world series game while it was on TV.
My place was rocken and rollen... 7.1+ class earthquakes are amazingly powerful when experienced up close and personal. I had stuff crashing down off the walls as I levitated out of the second story of the house to the ground.
My apartment rattled for months afterward... It was like those cheap vibrating beds from the 70's in motels...
~SEG
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 6:44PM
Hefner's business model is wrong. In the old days, Hef's centerfolds looked like girl-goals any horny collegian could achieve. Today, Hef's centerfolds look like someone only Trump could achieve. So ends the lesson.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 7:45PM
Actually, Hef's centerfolds now look like wax mannequins no red blooded man would want to achieve. At some point, Playboy just stopped being sexy.
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 9:21PM
@7:45, yeah I wondered about that. Me and all my girlfriends love "The Girls Next Door"...we think they're funny. And cheerful... They're not real people, they're plastic. It makes them entertaining, but hot? we wondered if guys found them sexy? do you?-- real girls want to know
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 11:08PM
Ha! Nice Canadian dig. Life is good up here as things implode south of the border. I may visit your country this weekend with my USD locked in at a great exchange tsyr and toss a little dough at a Target to help you inch along. Oh, and the hottest chicks to ever grace Playboy are all Canadians. You're welcome. As a population, you may want to cut back on the fatty foods too. Short CAKE!
Posted by guest , Apr 04, 2008 11:08PM
Ha! Nice Canadian dig. Life is good up here as things implode south of the border. I may visit your country this weekend with my USD locked in at a great exchange tsyr and toss a little dough at a Target to help you inch along. Oh, and the hottest chicks to ever grace Playboy are all Canadians. You're welcome. As a population, you may want to cut back on the fatty foods too. Short CAKE!
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2008 4:06AM
Has to be Tom Hudson, no????
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2008 10:57AM
Dear Real Girls: All girls are sexy in a Gaussian way to those of us so inclined. At the tails of the "sexy curve" are volatile mixes of personal choice. I prefer the mean of the "curve choices" with slight skews of course. The GND are way out on the curve at an event horizon where total money possessed becomes more powerful than any other "inputs".
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2008 1:54PM
Real Girls: yeah, this does not look in the least like girls I might actually see next door, or be interested in dating - they look like they're moulded from plastic:
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PYR/PAS0002~Girls-Next-Door-Posters.jpg
For starters, where are the brunettes??!! Also, real, sexy girls next door don't hang out in bikinis all day, they actually might have jobs, or go to school. Sheesh.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2008 2:16PM
@1:54 - Tapped all three!
The Other Delaware Guy
Delaware: It's not just the cows!
Posted by Capitalist Infidel , Apr 05, 2008 3:23PM
Funny thread this, FatStockTipGuy is a heartless heathen and his nethers are parched in a Sahara fashion. I don't like him. Although long puts on these vices might be ultimately redeeming in an omnipresent, karma-equalling sort of way.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2008 11:44AM
@ The Other Delaware Guy - you should move out of delaware...I'm thinking all that cow shit is affecting your illusions of grandeur
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2008 1:14PM
@11:44 Yo',skippy: It's "delusions", not "illusions". I hope you're better at numbers than you are at English!
The Other Delaware Guy
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2008 3:34PM
@ The Other Delaware Guy -Only thing you tapped were your cows. You just thought they were the GND...delusions...
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2008 3:58PM
Zacks analysts are based in India. I'm hoping you didn't actually know that already, because the loin cloth thing is a bit much.
Posted by guest , Apr 07, 2008 1:24AM
@9:21:
I don't find the GND funny or cheerful. They're dumb, boring, and absolutely irritating. Very un-hot.
Even the perfect sculpted figure, hair and makeup has to be delivered with an intelligent and confident personality. That's Hef's blind spot.
- Grumpy Guy
Posted by guest , Apr 07, 2008 7:44AM
All chicks are 10s at 2am and 2s and 10am...now you know!