$$$ Furry Fund [FINalternatives]
$$$ Elitist for Same [Craigslist]
$$$ The Khaki Letter [LoSC]
$$$ Charges of Insider Trading for a Wall Street Luminary [New York Times]
Archive for May 2008
$$$ Furry Fund [FINalternatives]
We’re sorry you are still in the office and not already plowing through your third mojito and sailing away for blackout island. We’d at least like to bring you the good news that the roads are still clear and you won’t spend the first five hours after leaving the office stuck on the LIE inhaling exhaust.
We’d like to but we can’t. According to Traffic.Com, you are totally screwed. The traffic jam on either side of midtown tunnel is completely jammed. So it looks like it is either the LIRR or another Friday night in your usual Friday night haunts, except that they’ll be weirdly abandoned. There won’t even be any girls out tonight because instead of going to some place where they might actually meet a man, they’ll all be seeing some film about girls looking for men.
You’re probably better off staying in town anyway. It’s going to be cold and windy all weekend. Isolated thunderstorms in the morning will become severe in the afternoon. They’re even talking about hail. Good luck.
– Mortgage industry
— Epidermis (his own and all those employees forced to take meeting in the Suntan Chambers)
— Bear Stearns
Killer Bees and the Housing Crisis [USNews]
Couple cites vacant home in fatal bee attack on dog [Tuscon Citizen]
Carl Icahn got the go ahead from the Federal Trade Commission to scoop up huge amounts of Yahoo stock. Icahn owns around 10 million Yahoo shares now, and has options to acquire another 49 million. He said he’s seeking clearance from the FTC to buy up to $2.5 billion of the stock.
In our not-so-free market, you need the FTC’s approval to make stock purchases worth $63 million or more.
In other news, we just noticed that Jerry Yang and Steve Ballmer apparently played golf together last weekend. They may or may not have chatted about a deal but probably not the straight-up acquisition that Icahn wants. Icahn, of course, hates executives who play golf. Is there any chance that Ballmer and Yang arranged the meeting over golf to piss off Icahn?
Icahn gets antitrust go-ahead for Yahoo stock buy [Yahoo--heh]
Here’s a slightly unorthodox idea we’ve been tossing around, should you sense an impending foreclosure situation on your home. Why not burn the place down? The worst that happens is you get stuck with a pile of money from the insurance company. And what a pity that would be. If it’s good enough for 50 cent, it’s good enough for you.
As we pointed out the other day, a rift has developed on Wall Street over whether access to funds from the Federal Reserve is worth the price of increased regulation. Lehman Brothers is reportedly willing to accept the regulation while Goldman Sachs is said to oppose it, and is willing to give up access to the new Fed facility if necessary. Tim Carney, who writes for the Washington Examiner and is the brother of one of DealBreaker’s editors, takes a look at why the investment banks have split over the issue.
These companies’ financial situations give a hint. Goldman, in its most recent quarterly report, showed a positive gross profit, as it had for the years 2007 and 2006. Lehman, meanwhile, posted a $6.6 billion gross loss last quarter.
Goldman, like the whole financial sector, has plenty of headaches, but thanks in part to its correct bet on the housing slowdown and credit crunch, it is thriving compared with its competitors. Subsidized loans will help Goldman, but the weaker sisters in the industry need them more. Regulations may stabilize Goldman’s position, but they will keep Goldman from improving that position.
Deal or no deal? [Washington Examiner]