Less than a week after Steve Schwarzman’s Nagasaki joke bombed in Boca (of his failure to get the loan money to buy mortgage company PHH, Crab Hands said, “Trying to buy a mortgage bank in the midst of the subprime crisis was the equivalent of being a noodle salesman in Nagasaki when the atomic bomb went off. Not a lot of noodles left, or even a person, and that’s what happened to us on this deal.”), Blackstone has announced it would like to get in on some deal opportunities in Asia.
It plans to do so with the launch of Blackstone Altius Advisors, an event-driven strategy based in Hong Kong, with staff in Tokyo, Mumbai, and New York, and focused on money making schemes on the left-hand side of the Pacific. Good to see no one over there’s holding a grudge. Though, to be fair, it’s been a while since the atrocities that Schwarzman made light of in Florida went down. That real test would be to have Schwarzman make some cyclone cracks in his next public appearance, and see if they have an effect on Blackstone’s (non-existent) business efforts in Myanmar (which you know he would probably call Burma, after making "Formosa" and "Peking" jokes).
Blackstone to Launch Blackstone Altius Advisors, an Asia-Focused, Event-Driven Investment Business [BusinessWire]






Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 6:46PM
Are you kidding me? This post has been up for hours now and not one good Schwarman joke or slam??? Come on people.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 8:23PM
Do the associates at BX still find Crab Hands as funny as the rest of us? Or is it a stretch to think they found humor in it at all?
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 8:25PM
Do the associates at BX still find Crab Hands as funny as the rest of us do? Or is it a stretch to imagine they could found any humor at all?
Posted by Lowly Assistant , May 14, 2008 12:12AM
As a former Fax Analyst (pre PDF) for Steve, I find this absolutely ridiculous. He always had great hands, particularly while throwing the ol' pigskin in the parking lot of his Mumbai office. Homeboy had a perfect spiral with the Vortex Orange. (He liked orange.)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 4:29PM
Well-deseved demotion
http://www.rwe.com/generator.aspx/supply-and-trading/geschaeftsfuehrung/stefan-judisch/language=en/id=621698/stefan-judisch.html
Posted by guest , Sep 16, 2008 5:21PM
Ancient old smelly cunt history! More on
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 1:53PM
http://pl-pl.facebook.com/people/Kristen_Eshak_Weldon/666550918
Thumbs down, we think
Posted by guest , Sep 27, 2008 7:04PM
I'd worry more about loose cannons like A. Pena at GS.
Posted by guest , Nov 27, 2008 10:57PM
Schwarzman is on top of the world - we can only expect him to be found naked and tied up like the Israeli diplomats around the world
Posted by noxenburg , Jan 02, 2009 10:08AM
According to the NY Times, some bankers are voluntarily leaving the field to become stand-up comedians. Our biggest wish is that Mr. Schwarzman follows these misguided dreamers and fails as miserably as possibly--losing his mind in the process and giving away his entire wealth to charitable causes.
more on http://pigswallstreet.blogspot.com.