• 29 May 2008 at 12:27 PM

Ask An Expert

This is the last time we’re going to write about the spin class fracas today unless another hilarious detail emerges in which case, all bets are off. Earlier we wondered aloud whether or not it was possible for one man (Christopher Carter) to not only throw another man (Stuart Sugarman) and his bike into a wall, but lift man y bike over his head for a few seconds seconds, or however long it takes to shout “F you” before tossing the duo across the room.
While you debated amongst yourselves, we questioned an expert. A professional. An authority on the matter of going postal while working out and possibly juicing. A guy who takes lifting so seriously the people at Myoplex are considering making him their spokesman. A bro who realizes that in order to effectively expose one’s veins to colleagues’ leering delight after a pec whaling session, one must be properly attired in Champion sweatshirts with the sleeves cut off. A broheim who takes no greater pride than that derived from the musky, pheromone-concentrated odor he emits while working out. A brohamster who is not afraid to scare children in the gym’s BowFlex-adjacent playroom by howling ‘Ba Fungool!’ after every rep. Charlie Gasparino. Here’s what he had to say, re: is it possible?

“When I grew up I worked out with a lot of power lifters. Some understand leverage and know how to lift double their weight over their heads through a power lifting technique. I doubt a guy in a spinning class lifts that way. Most of the guys that are power and Olympic lifting are not taking spin classes. The chances of this occurring, in my opinion, are very low. Unless of course this is one of the most steroid-ed out spinners known to man, or he’s in fighting form from hanging out with my boys at Tropix in Rego Park.”

Comments (24)

  1. Posted by Lowly Assistant | May 29, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    Simply the best.

  2. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 1:31 PM

    I’m no grammar nazi, but c’mon – “the last time we’re going to RIGHT about the spin class fracas” – that’s brutal.

  3. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 1:49 PM

    I hate to say it but I’ve been to Tropix.

  4. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 1:55 PM

    that might mean something if we knew who you are.

  5. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:08 PM

    “brohamster”
    hah

  6. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:16 PM

    Mano means hand, not man. “Mano y bicicleta” is nonsense.

  7. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:21 PM

    Bess knows how to handle the hecklers!

  8. Posted by Random Banker | May 29, 2008 at 2:24 PM

    I’m quite sure Bess meant Mono not Mano, Mono y bicicleta makes perfect sense.

  9. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:31 PM

    @2:08 you are easily impressed

  10. Posted by Finnegan | May 29, 2008 at 2:34 PM

    Bess is funny.

  11. Posted by diablo | May 29, 2008 at 2:37 PM

    She fixed the mano y bicicleta to man y bicicleta. For a moment I thought she used mano as short for hermano (brother) as spoken in some city streets…

  12. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    Bess and Chas Gaspo…the best Jewish/Italian team since Michael Corleone and Hyman Roth.
    -BeckyBootFan

  13. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    post of the week, BL.
    quite authentic in your knowledge of early 90′s lifting attire. hmmmm. . .
    yes, the champ shirt could also be cut just below the pecs, giant weight belt mandatory, no gloves.
    more gavone, squat-rack pieces, please.
    thank you.
    -x-retail deca-durabolin guy

  14. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 2:46 PM

    “between the too”
    Bess, you’re brilliant.

  15. Posted by mrpink | May 29, 2008 at 2:56 PM

    YOU GO GIRL!! WOO WOO YEEEAH *grunt grunt*
    -mrp

  16. Posted by diablo | May 29, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    Hey BeckyBootFan
    Michael Corleone: C’mon Frankie… my father did business with Hyman Roth, he respected Hyman Roth.
    Frank Pentangeli: Your father did business with Hyman Roth, he respected Hyman Roth… but he never *trusted* Hyman Roth!

  17. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 3:35 PM

    Great quote, Diablo. Chas could have made a good regular on the Sopranos, no?
    The yin to JohnnyCakes yang.
    -BeckyBootFan

  18. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 3:39 PM

    is sugarman gay?

  19. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 4:26 PM

    @3:39…is the Pope Catholic?

  20. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 4:47 PM

    And so if he is gay does that make Chris Carter’s actions acceptable?
    I’m not saying Sugarman isn’t a complete jerk but what does his sexual orientation have to do with anything?

  21. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 5:24 PM

    @4:47…who said it did?
    Sometimes a question is just a question. Lighten up, Francis.

  22. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 5:48 PM

    @ 5:24
    Just not sure what the question has to do with anything…if he is gay or isn’t gay, whats the difference, Sugarman is still an asshole as is anyone who makes noises and yells “you go girl” in a spin class (unless ofcourse they have acrylic nails and live in bed-stuy) and Carter is a roided up retail stockbroker from brooklyn suffering from roid rage.
    This whole lawsuit is a joke, these two deserve each other!

  23. Posted by mrpink | May 29, 2008 at 6:12 PM

    YOU GO GIRL! SHENAINAI! HAAAY
    ok i’m losing my mind here…
    back to the Knob Creek..
    -mrp

  24. Posted by guest | May 29, 2008 at 9:59 PM

    dimwits

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