This seems slightly absurd but what the hey: according to Financial News, offings at Bear could exceed 10,000 and, supposedly, those being cut will receive nine months pay and one-third of last year’s bonus, cash. If anyone knows how I could get a job with the B for about a week (got some vacay days to burn through), that would be top notch. Don't worry about the firing part of the equation, I've got plenty of 'How Tos' up my sleeve.
Earlier: Fringe Benefits To Getting Fired
Bear Stearns layoffs could exceed 10,000 [Financial News]
Posted by AJ , May 05, 2008 4:58PM
I would be shocked if the number was under 10,000
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 5:08PM
That package makes their position sound enviable
Would take off to Bali for a year then head back when the storm blows over
And, if you stay in the center of the island, you could come back with 90% of the severance
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 5:16PM
Both the number of people to be laid off and the amount of the severance package are hard to believe. Why wouldn't the same package be offered to everyone being terminated, with some adjustment for longer service made to those going at the end of process? People terminated up to now haven't reported a package like that.
Posted by onetwo , May 05, 2008 5:53PM
Breakdown of how "good" (bad) this is:
Analysts - "F-ing great! Sleeya in the Bahamas!"
Associates: "Looking good Lewis. Feeling good Billy Ray!"
VPs: "You gonna tell me the difference between this guy and that guy is luck?"
MDs: "You're walking around blind without a cane, pal. A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place. "
Posted by golden girl , May 05, 2008 5:54PM
Here's what I heard, and I might be getting some of this wrong -
After the disaster, they told employees that if they stayed, they'd be getting double pay for a couple of months, and that soon (which I'm guessing is like, now) they'd know for sure what their future would be.
If they were canned at that point, they'd get some sort of bonus/severance package, let's call it 3 months and 25% bonus.
The catch? If JP Morgan offered them a job at the end of everything, they had to accept it or they would forfeit their severance. So even if it was some back office job, they had to take it or leave without the padding.
Created a situation where some Bear employees I know are actively hoping they DON'T get offered jobs with JPM.
Again, this could be misinterpreted/off base/whatever - juuuust repeating what I heard.
Posted by girl , May 05, 2008 6:04PM
Actually it's much worse than all these accounts. They were meant to get double pay as golden girl said but only bc their severance wasn't even going to amount to 3 months and that was supposed to be the pay off- however last week they had a meeting wherein they wwere told that the company was going to cease double pay as of this pay period. Additionally they will not be paid out vacation days & bonus will be prorated.
Bess you're better off making coffee runs in between Carney's rice posts.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:05PM
who is feeding Financial News these stories is what I want to know.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:09PM
You know, that Financial News Online story says it's posted on the U.S. version of the news service, but uses the term "job redundancy" two times, which is a British term. I wonder if some of this article isn't based on yet another recycling of the Reuters article last week about lay-offs at Bear Stearns' London office.
I don't have any idea of where the figure of "more than 10,000 employees" of Bear Stearns being laid off is coming from. It's a persistent unattributed rumor that keeps popping up. It could end up being true -- but I would take JP Morgan at their word that they're not at the end of their decision-making process.
Being at Bear Stearns right now is completely unenviable. People are hoping to be employed by an organization that is hated for buying their company at a cut-rate, just so they're not out on the street.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:16PM
you do not get double pay for staying. you get your regular paycheck up until the date you are told your services will no longer needed (some people have gotten their letter, most have not). when you are terminated, your severance schedule depends on how long you have been with the firm, and you have the opportunity to get 20-30% of your bonus.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:18PM
Is @6:04pm from the real girl? I can't believe she'd be so down on Bess! Although, Bess, it would be good if you developed some contacts at Bear Stearns or JP Morgan so you'd be able to thread through some of these wild rumors.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:21PM
I heard firings would total 13,500.....
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:24PM
Guest @6:16pm has it as I have heard it from Bear employees. That has been the mo since March 24.
I think the plan is slightly different for the first year analysts who haven't gotten a bonus yet, and are scheduled to get one May - June.
JP Morgan is just not finished with its decision-making process.
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 05, 2008 6:44PM
@6:04, I'm with @6:18...what gives, do bess go after onetwo? sounds like we may have a cat fight on our hands. where is the love?
at any rate, best of luck to you bear cubs - at least you'll be doing better than your jpm counterparts who are on the chopping block without such guarantees (do you think they'll be equitable with severance?).
Posted by bank_teller , May 05, 2008 6:48PM
I heard there are going to be 1 million layoffs and Jamie will personally hand everyone a banana peel as he/she/heshe is escorted out the door. Just what I've heard.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 6:49PM
What I can't figure out it why anyone at all in BS would even get a bonus. They ran the company into the ground with greedy mismanagement and will probably cost taxpayers billions before its over with the crap they setup in the financial markets that will have to be saved by the Fed. So why anyone would get anything but a big goodbye and don't let the door hit you is beyond me. Wish I could help ruin a business and still get a bonus and severance pay. Stupidity. If this happens the Fed should immediately take back their guarantees for the buyout.
Posted by golden girl , May 05, 2008 7:09PM
@ 6:49 uhh, what?
the rank and file employees did nothing to deserve this and the vast majority of them had absolutely no hand in running the company into the ground. furthermore, they have seen the value of their investments, retirement plans, etc etc absolutely plunge. no need to rub salt in the wound.
these are not evil overlords. these are 40 year old guys with two kids in school who lost much of their net worth and are being turned out into an environment where very few places are hiring anytime in the near future.
clearly i generalize, but that was ridiculous.
Posted by Anal_yst , May 05, 2008 7:10PM
Thanks to golden girl for responding to that very well-informed assclown @ 6:49. I gotta hand it to you, my response was about to be far-less gentle...
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , May 05, 2008 7:30PM
Wow, the whole gang is here on this thread... we have 1-2, Girl, Golden Girl and even Sir Anal ready to kick some loafers off and get physical with an ass clown...
Its been months since we had the whole gang kicken ass on one thread...
~SEG
Who had a very nice day in the market today...after having the market treat him like an ass-clown for weeks...
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 8:12PM
hasnt anyone here ever heard of a stay bonus? Its incentive to stay till the end, extended to certain key people - key in any function, operations, customer facing, anything that keeps the place running. The idea is to keep the place intact until the acquirer is ready to take it over. Very common in any takeover situation.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 8:15PM
Check out this FUNNY CARTOON on "you tube" where the The Federal Reserve and JP Morgan Gobble Bear Stearns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9_EMDfnTfw
Check out this site too.. www.BEARSTEARNSLIVES.com
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 8:55PM
@8:15 RE: the BSlives.com site: Is that mrp with the golf shirt? It has to be. That makes soooo much sense!
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:06PM
@6:49, you're a cowardly fucktard with no knowledge, intelligence, or scope of the situation (@7:10, I'm not flowery).
The situation is screwed up more than anyone can imagine. JP is running around like a bunch of blind retards with each manager's dick in another's asshole.
The scoop. Administrative employees were getting double pay until recently.
Revenue producers get a portion of last year's bonus, if they are kept on as "transition employees". If they are offered a job at JP, they get a bonus in JP stock.
The scoop inside and out seems to be that JP is an organization with 3:1 managers:employees. The recent firings were done w/out thought and strategy. Few people have been hired. Those that were are more managers. Just what JP needs. More managers.
Posted by big r , May 05, 2008 9:34PM
im a little worried at the girl snide comment to bess. do we have to pick sides on this one?
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:34PM
doesn't sound like bess needs more contacts at bsc/jpm consider the intro to this post, geniuses.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:37PM
doubtful bess makes "coffee runs," girl, considering, for all intents and purposes, she's the co-editor of this site, which is actually being generous to carney.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:46PM
Interesting comment @9:06pm. Kind of an antidote to all of the glorification of Jamie Dimon and his crack take-over team.
6:49pm appears to have no knowledge that on Wall Street, a small proportion of annual compensation is annual salary, the rest is bonus. Plus @8:12pm helpfully explained the function of a stay bonus.
Finally, 6:49pm, the $29B from the Federal Reserve used in the JP Morgan/Bear deal did not come from the taxpayers. If the collaterized assets held by the Fed fail to pay off the $29B, the money does not come from the tax-payers. The Fed system has been set up for a long, long time to be self-funding and is way in the black.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:49PM
@9:43 Would anyone pick girl? She strikes me as a somewhat smart pain in the ass. Like a lot of women in NY. Bess on the other hand is quick, sharp, funny. May be though that girl is a little older than Bess and that someday soon Bess will turn into girl. Most of them do.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:50PM
girl @ 6:04pm. Usually appreciate your input, but I'm not sure you're right on one thing. Will the Department of Labor Wage and Standards unit allow JP Morgan to not pay vacation days?
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 9:58PM
@9:49-- thanks for that sweeping generalization of the female sex.
--girl2
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 10:00PM
@9:58 Only as it applies to that fucked up subset thereof, the NY woman
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 10:04PM
be honest 9:49/10:00-- did girl turn you down?
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 10:37PM
9:06 has it right - revenue producers will get ~30% of last year's bonus, plus a number of weeks salary based on how long you worked at Bear. So Bess's numbers would be right, but to get 9 months salary you'd have to have been a long-time Bear employee.
-soon to be former Bear employee
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 11:07PM
Of all the women in the U.S., I think NYC women defy easy categorization. Both Bess and girl have fine qualities that are only going to get better with time. Probably the same could be said of golden girl and girl2.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 11:13PM
@11:07
"It's a trap!"
Admiral Ackbar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNLuq0lW50k
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 11:16PM
@11:07 Then why are so many of them alone on a saturday night?
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 11:19PM
because they're too good for you, 11:16.
Posted by guest , May 05, 2008 11:51PM
@11:19 Possibly, but I'm not the only guy in NY. I guess they're too good for all of us? Not likely.
Posted by guest , May 06, 2008 2:47AM
These people deserve nothing. I don't care if the average Bear employee wasn't responsible for driving the company into the ground. They were living a life much better than almost all Americans doing something that was entirely unsustainable i.e. living large on the credit bubble an getting rich on the backs of the rest of the country. Commodities traders, investment bankers, etc. create nothing of real value. They just trade the same paper back and forth at higher and higher prices until the bubble bursts.
Posted by diablo , May 06, 2008 7:31AM
Enough about NYC women.
And Bess is a New Jersey girl. Didn't you see the movie "Welcome to the Dollhouse" ?
Posted by guest , May 06, 2008 7:50AM
Who's up at 2:47am worked up about Bear Stearns? The majority of commenters on this board disagree with you that "these people deserve nothing." A lot of good reasons have already been put forth for the counterview.
As to NYC women on a Saturday night, some may be home alone, some may be at restaurants, movies, and bars with friends. You sure see them out in great numbers! Anyway, being alone on a Saturday night is not a mark of everlasting shame. A good book after a grinding week may be a lot better than a bad date or a crowded bar scene. This isn't high school where women are graded on the basis of one-dimensional "popularity."
By the way, I looked up vacation pay on the Department of Labor Wage and Hour website. It's not covered by the Fair Labor Standards Act.
Posted by guest , May 06, 2008 8:18AM
Any corn fed midwestern women who need some emotional and psychological help, please contact me for free lung white washing.
Posted by golden girl , May 06, 2008 8:34AM
@ 11:07 - hey, how'd I get pulled into that argument? it's not even worth responding to!
Posted by girl , May 06, 2008 10:07AM
i would just like to clarify that i HEART bess and that was a reference to an offline discussion. She's terrific.
but you're right, i'm a total pain in the ass, albeit a young pain in the ass at 24 (so i doubt she's going to "turn into me"- i wouldn't wish it on her at any rate)
Anyway, re: the vacation, this is just what I heard from a friend who works at Bear- I'm not familiar with the laws but I knew she was particularly pissed about that bit.
Posted by guest , May 06, 2008 12:36PM
I guess my 11,000 layoffs comment from 3 weeks was right after all.
Pays to be smart..... and right
Posted by guest , May 06, 2008 12:56PM
@12:36-- how so? did you have money on this?
Posted by guest , May 06, 2008 9:53PM
I heard all the equity research people on the 33rd floor got canned.
Posted by guest , May 07, 2008 12:25AM
golden girl -- didn't mean to pull you into an argument you didn't want to be in. Every now and then I get sick of reading the patronizing remarks about women from men who are clearly committed to nothing but life-long self-aggrandizement. I know the tide is against me, but occasionally I feel like fighting it.
Posted by guest , May 07, 2008 8:03AM
NY women are the easiest to bed - show them a swizzle stick in a bar for free, and they'll be swallowing your load 3 hours later. Esp chicks from commercial banking.
Bear-ites deserve nothing but a kick in the ass as they go home. Nobody gives a rats ass about some 40 yearold douch who hasnt made money for years and his support staff who knew it but couldnt get jobs elsewhere. Maybe all these firings will raise the home prices in Iowa, and lower them in Rye. Probably lower massage prices in the eats 50s too. win/win for us!
Posted by guest , May 07, 2008 9:09AM
Another yahoo who thinks everyone who loses their job on Wall Street goes home to Iowa. And everyone who loses their job at Bear is "some 40 year old douch [sic] who hasnt [sic] made money for years..." This purveyor of compassion is hoping that the lay-offs will "lower massage prices in the eats [sic] 50s too." Look, Mr. Sensitive, a lot of people don't agree with you, and may wonder how someone so dim is still working.
Posted by guest , May 07, 2008 9:34AM
@9.09--How douche-lover, shouldnt you be busy copying forms or getting on your knees for your boss? These losers getting laid off are simply dead-wood being thrown out. NOBODY who makes money loses their job. You think a 150,000 employee corp like JPM cares about retaining a fw thousand folks who make money? Smell the roses on the farm clown, oh yeah, you probably smell the manure on the farm...hahaha