Ian "Oyster Boy" Roncoroni, you've got competition! We've just been informed that some analyst at FTN is currently taking a stab at "the famed vending machine challenge" which we've actually never heard of but is apparently all the rage (have you all been taking part in these competitions on the sly?). He has until 5 pm today to eat one of everything in the vending machine. His progress as of 4:15: 26 items down. Will he go into diabetic shock before the day is done? Stay tuned.
Vending Machine ChallengeTotals:
Calories: 9,366
Fat Grams: 444
Sodium: 10,328
Consumed (as of 4:15): Calories: 6,346
Fat Grams: 300
Sodium: 6,188
1. Hostess Cup
2. Suzy Q's
3. Hon Bun
4. Zinger
5. Popcorn
6. Starburst
7. Starburst
8. Grandma's Cookies
9. Almond Joy
10. Mounds
11. Snickers
12. Mr. Goodbar
13. PB Crackers
14. Ch PB Crk
15. Peanut Butter M&Ms
16. Pop Tarts
17. Almond Bar
18. Rice Crispy Treat
19. PBGM Cookie
20. Cheese Puffs
21. Cheese Puffs
22. Pretzels
23. Cherry Pie
24. Cheetos
25. FLMHT [???]
26. BBQ Lays
27. Sun Chips
28. SCO Lays
29. Fritos
30. Ruffles
31. ChedSnk
32. NC Doritos
33. Funyons
34. Lays
35. SWC Doritos
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 4:36PM
i cry bullshit
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 4:50PM
someone should really price this...
Posted by BSD , May 29, 2008 4:53PM
I call bullshit on this all being under 10K calories.
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 4:59PM
That doesnt look so hard.
Posted by american bandersnatch , May 29, 2008 5:03PM
gotta agree with 4:59. I could do that around 7 pm instead of Seamless.
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 5:09PM
hardest part has to be those pretzels (fat free) taste like ass
Posted by FUNdamental , May 29, 2008 5:11PM
I call that the tuesday morning...
--mark haines
Posted by I am a Dude , May 29, 2008 5:23PM
One of everything? thats nothing. lets see him eat everything in the machine.
Posted by Anal_yst , May 29, 2008 5:40PM
calorie count sounds mighty dubious, gotta agree...god i'm so hungry reading that haha
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 5:40PM
Probably the highlight of his pitiful career
Posted by HAM05 , May 29, 2008 5:41PM
ill be impressed when he eats the actual machine. gnom gnom gnom.
(bess, whats the sound of baby-arm eating? i remember that sound being funny)
Posted by Ben_H , May 29, 2008 5:46PM
The vending challenge looks like a bigger challenge than matching the Oyster Boy. Half-dozen oysters = 57 calories (according to calorie-count.com), so 244 oysters is around 2300 calories. A day's worth of calories for an average-sized guy. Granted, it has to be done in one hour, but still seems a lot more clearly within human capacity than taking down 9,000 calories in a workday!
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 5:47PM
9,366/35 = 276 calories per delicious food unit. seems reasonable to me.
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 5:49PM
"Every time Alexis Glick confuses Apple for Abu Dhabi, or Rebecca Gomez embarrasses herself in front of a bunch of prostitutes or Cody Willard’s breast pops out of his red dress, we want to bite them, but in a good way, like you want to bite a baby’s arm. Gnom gnom gnom. So, uh, anyway."
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/03/the_chance_of_a_lifetime.php
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 6:13PM
444 Fat Grams.....Hmm, if the guy was Chinese and superstitious, bet he wouldn't be doing this....
Posted by ab , May 29, 2008 6:46PM
@5:47
35 is the # items already eaten
6,346/35 = 181 calories ea.
Posted by merkin capital partners , May 29, 2008 8:41PM
Their bowels are on a collision course. Vending machine boy won't shit for the rest of his life...oyster boy is still leaking poop water out his butt.
Posted by guest , May 29, 2008 10:44PM
Craptacular. Are there side bets to see after how many calories he strokes out?
Sounds like Davie Hogan.
Posted by guest , May 30, 2008 1:36AM
Favorite Bear employees website: http://stuffinvestmentbankerslike.blogspot.com/
Posted by guest , May 30, 2008 5:47AM
...i have seen the vending machine challenge attempted...it was done by an ops guy on the floor at a dealer in greenwich that will remain nameless but which was in the good old days known for its raucous floor. The kid didnt even get half way through before puking and i lost 100 bucks betting on him...its much harder then it looks. 57 oysters is much easier. The starburst and hoh-hos are the hardest part...
Posted by guest , May 30, 2008 8:26AM
@ 6:46- 35 is total number of items in the machine. he'd eaten 26 out of 35.
Posted by guest , May 30, 2008 9:21AM
did he make it?
Posted by guest , Jun 09, 2008 12:50PM
I know the guy who attempted the vending machine above. He looks just like Chris Farley and is (appropriately) nicknamed Tommy Boy. I don't know what the total purse was on this bet, but the over/under was set at 28 items. He fell two short at 26 and tapped out at 4:15pm. By all reports, he was back in the office the next day, although his face had broken out and he was wearing sweatpants. I'm interested to see anyone try this bet; it's become a favorite among redneck bond traders. Also, FLMHT was the Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Posted by guest , Jun 09, 2008 10:30PM
to join a frat we once drank a gallon of milk, at a box of 51 cookies and the slowest pledge to finish also ate a can of spam, all under 1 hour
Posted by guest , Jun 09, 2008 10:30PM
to join a frat we once drank a gallon of milk, ate a box of 51 cookies and the slowest pledge to finish also ate a can of spam, all under 1 hour