Bank of America is trading up 4.5 percent and I'm pre-tay sure I know why. Why? I'll tell you why: 'cause they just wrote down $2 billion? No. 'Cause net income for the first quarter fell 77 percent to $1.21 billion? No. 'Cause everyone's so damn excited about owning Countrywide? No. (And yes.) No, people, Bank of America's stay in the motherfucking hizzeyheous hotel can only be attributed to this, the Mo Rocca-hosted (and Ken Lewis shot and directed) videos the firm just rolled out, which tout things like online banking and mobile alerts as being 'smoking' and 'sexy.' Behold, as MoRo asks, "Did you ever imagine that banking could be this hot?" and "Imagine if we were making out and you could mobile bank at the same time" and "What would you say if I told you could could transfer funds naked and check balances from bed?" Now, I know that after watching the spots, you might be thinking, "Those were, completely objectively, absolutely fucking atrocious," and more to the point, just plain dumb. But before you go and short the shit out of BAC, let me just say, as a BoA customer, I have often noted that there is no better feeling than being slammed by their infernal overdrafting charges over and over and over again. So...they might be on to something.
Fantasy Banking #1 - Free videos are just a click away
Mo Rocca On Banking [Bank of America]
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 3:52PM
All I read was Bess saying that "there is no better feeling than being slammed... over and over again". Excuse me, I'm going to need some private time now.
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 4:02PM
going straight for the Mr P/Gaynalyst demographic....
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 4:04PM
"Slammin' like the doors on a clown car..."
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 4:04PM
@4:02-- how, exactly?
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 4:16PM
Wow, did this guy ever sell out.
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 4:28PM
Been busy. No sign of Pink either, so I'll handle this for the team. Anyway, I come back and see 4:02. Huh? How is this unstylish guy gonna attract a gay demographic. What is it with you straight boys? You need to learn to think before you type/act. Reminds me of that gay pair on Amazing Race a few years ago that made all of you look ridiculous with their style and agility. Could have something to do with us being outsiders, dumped on by dumb jocks in high school. Toughens you for the slog that is life on Wall St. Enough. GAnalYst
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 5:16PM
making out while mobile banking makes me moist
Sincerely,
Capt. Obvious
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 7:01PM
To the Joshua Tree crew - Bess is gonna be on the prowl tonight looking to get slamed over & over again...
Posted by guest , May 01, 2008 8:25PM
im confused as to what is so innovative about online banking. did i miss something?
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:28AM
This would make for great night-time drama - full frontal nudity, slamming, and online banking. Hell YEAH! that's what I'M all about.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 8:00AM
I dig when BoA makes me wait like 2 weeks for checks to clear. They held my IRS refund check for 5 days last year. When I asked why, they said it could be a bad check..........maybe they should offer private spankings too.