Bank of America is trading up 4.5 percent and I'm pre-tay sure I know why. Why? I'll tell you why: 'cause they just wrote down $2 billion? No. 'Cause net income for the first quarter fell 77 percent to $1.21 billion? No. 'Cause everyone's so damn excited about owning Countrywide? No. (And yes.) No, people, Bank of America's stay in the motherfucking hizzeyheous hotel can only be attributed to this, the Mo Rocca-hosted (and Ken Lewis shot and directed) videos the firm just rolled out, which tout things like online banking and mobile alerts as being 'smoking' and 'sexy.' Behold, as MoRo asks, "Did you ever imagine that banking could be this hot?" and "Imagine if we were making out and you could mobile bank at the same time" and "What would you say if I told you could could transfer funds naked and check balances from bed?" Now, I know that after watching the spots, you might be thinking, "Those were, completely objectively, absolutely fucking atrocious," and more to the point, just plain dumb. But before you go and short the shit out of BAC, let me just say, as a BoA customer, I have often noted that there is no better feeling than being slammed by their infernal overdrafting charges over and over and over again. So...they might be on to something.
Fantasy Banking #1 - Free videos are just a click away
Mo Rocca On Banking [Bank of America]
Posted by guest, May 01, 2008 3:52PM
All I read was Bess saying that "there is no better feeling than being slammed... over and over again". Excuse me, I'm going to need some private time now.