Opening Bell: 5.6.08

ubslogo08.jpgUBS To Sell Mortgage Assets, Cut Jobs As First-Quarter Loss Nearly $11 Billion (WSJ)
More of the same at UBS: Another $11 billion lost. Another $2600 raised. And also a big sale of $15 billion worth of subprime assets, which had a nominal value of $22 billion. Nominal being the operative word there. Though it seems that if every asset that nominally priced at $22 could be sold for $15, it's not the worst gap there is. Or maybe it is the worst.


Las Vegas used to be a recession-proof oasis. Not anymore. (Newsweek)
Well, it may finally be time to put an end to that notion. The chips are down across the board in vegas, probably for a combo of reasons. A big one: Vegas is less of a gambling town than it used to be. By putting such an emphasis on food and shows -- neither of which are as addictive as roulette -- the casinos have diversified away from their bread and butter. Beyond that, there's gambling everywhere. Online is down, but so many states have legalized it in some form. And the popularity of low-margin poker can't help, since people lose most of their money to other players, rather than the house.

Indonesia considers quitting OPEC (AP)
Interesting, though not surprising. Indonesia hasn't really been an oil exporter for a while, so its presence in OPEC seemed mainly out of tradition, rather than logic. Said President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono in what is sure to be grist for the peak oil mill: "Our wells are drying." They haven't made a final decision yet, but the basic idea is that because they're not an exporter, it doesn't make sense to be part of an exporters' cartel. Makes sense.

Who will reap the benefits of a gas tax holiday? (Megan McArdle)
As an exercise in contrianism, we've been trying to think of a good argument against all the haters, taking shots at Hillary Clinton for her support of a summer gas tax holiday. But so far we haven't tried to hard. In the meantime, here's Megan McArdle taking shots at the summer gas tax holiday. And quite well at that.

Time To Fire Your Customers (Plane Buzz)
An interesting look at load factors across the various airlines, and how they correlate/don't correlate to profitability. Anomaly: Southwest actually has pretty poor load factors, but compared to its industry peers does a better job of making money. While others have kept their capacity pretty high, but are swimming in the red stuff, suggesting some deep problems with how the company is run.

Democratic Presidential Primaries (Intrade)
The markets are calling for a split decision today, giving Obama a winning chance in the high 90s, while Hillary is in the high 80s in Indiana. If both win convincingly will anything change? Probably not. Despite the appeared loss of momentum for Obama, his overall odds of winning the nom have come down only slightly -- he's currently trading in the low 70s. He'd really need to get shellacked everywhere and then see a flood of superdelegates go HIllary's way for this to be over for him.

Microsoft to Put Voice-Activation Software in Hyundais (NYT)
Not exactly the same as winning Yahoo, but certainly Ballmer can take a bow.

New Titans of Las Vegas Reinvent Old Formula (NYT)
And just because we like to write about gambling, here's another article about Las Vegas. This one though is about how there's a younger generation in town, pushing the Kirkorian's and the Wynn's out of their dominant perch. It's not happening yet, but you know the Maloof brothers and all. Not that the Maloof brothers (owner of the Palms {which had that one Real World [the one with the threesome in episode 1]}) haven't gotten plenty of media attention already -- they have.

Comments

1

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 9:30AM

Just got shot at UBS...its going to be a blood bath today.

2

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 9:49AM

If any UBS female employees need a job in Stamford, Harrys is looking for chicks

3

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 10:03AM

My tits aren't big enough to work there.

4

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 10:32AM

Friend of mine at UBS Singapore I B just had group meeting - 3 people from the team just chopped.... Apparantly real blood bath in HK

5

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 10:34AM

its like dominos up here in stamford...five member team in ib just let go...today is going to suck

6

Posted by diablo, May 06, 2008 10:40AM

UBS slogan:

You & us.

New UBS slogan:

You & the few of us who remain.

7

Posted by mrpink, May 06, 2008 11:20AM

Alas, Mr. Pink is now able to appreciate fully his backyard garden during the day now as well.

I wonder if Cupids needs a male stripper... hmm

-mrp

8

Posted by StupidEquityGuy, May 06, 2008 11:55AM

Mr P,

being the stupid guy that I am... did you just say what I think you just said?

~SEG

They are letting go traders?

9

Posted by Debter, May 06, 2008 12:30PM

UBS also exiting the muni biz, underwriting and cap markets, that should be good for a couple hundred folks

10

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 12:52PM

Commenting on UBS, Admiral Ackbar says "It's a trap!"

11

Posted by mrpink, May 06, 2008 12:59PM

Yep SEG... Wow... There's two squirrels outside my window... LOL

My TiVO of Oprah is ready... c ya'll later...

-mrp

12

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 1:10PM

wait mrp.. you were at ubs in stamford? sigh, so am i. so not only was i wrong about the soulmate thing.. i've probably seen you a hundred times!

13

Posted by Anal_yst, May 06, 2008 1:18PM

K-Rock is also looking for some ladies, although I'm sure they'd prefer large mamaries as well

14

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 2:57PM

Mr. Pink is in need...where is Thadius R. Rogers when you need him!

15

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 3:52PM

So, what does Stamford look like total?

16

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 4:00PM

or at 1285??

17

Posted by guest, May 06, 2008 8:39PM

it looks sad and gloomy ... but on the flip side.....it also looks like they finally got rid of the 4th quartile bunch of bozos that UBS has been shamelessly paying for doing nothing over the last 5 years and just maybe, it may once again resemble a firm that's in business to make money again.

18

Posted by guest, May 07, 2008 12:36AM

Very upset to hear about the lay-off of Mr. Pink! (I failed to check the responses to this post until late.) And of course, I'm bummed about the situation of other people who have commented on this thread and have lost their jobs. Mr. Pink, please keep us posted of the progress of your soon-to-happen re-entry to the world of the employed. Good luck to all!

19

Posted by guest, May 07, 2008 8:41AM

Lay off the mammary jokes in consideration of the ladies who lost their jobs.

20

Posted by guest, May 07, 2008 9:02AM

Joe -- on the last topic about Las Vegas, your editing went wild. I double-checked and Kerkorian is spelled with an "e" after the capital "K." It's frequently misspelled, so I double-checked the Times index. They spell it with an "e."

In your second sentence, you didn't need those apostrophes after Kerkorian's and Wynn's names -- not in the context you used them. Why not eliminate the plural of the names altogether and say "pushing Kerkorian and Wynn out of their dominant perch" instead?

Your third sentence is a disaster. Surely something better could be drafted.

In your fourth sentence, what is it with those triple parentheses and brackets? How about "Not that the Maloof brothers -- owners of the Palms, the setting for the threesome in Episode 1 of the game Real World -- haven't gotten plenty of media attention already; they have."

21

Posted by guest, May 07, 2008 9:36AM

@8.41- their mammaries helped them get the job and will help in the future. Any chick who needs a mammary white-washing let me know. Glad to help!

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