We casually mentioned yesterday that perhaps Oppenheimer analyst Meredith Whitney ought cut the stand-up from her Citi reports, but only because we think her bits are much (more unintentionally) funnier when she lets the facts (“We’ve got a horrible slogan,” “We just lost a trillion dollars,” “We’re two quarters away from $10”) speak for themselves. But we got so caught up in the fact that she’d make a Stephen Hawking joke that we failed to notice that the dollar dominatrix seems to have sent the message that she’s done with big C entirely.
“We wish [Citi’s] management team all the best in their ambitious endeavors, but we fear [it] is past the point of fixing,” Whitney wrote. Does that not sound like a “Thank you and good night”? “You’ve been a great audience, but there’s really nothing left to say”? Where is she supposed to go from there? (She can't very well start recycling the dividend slashing routine at this point.) Obviously Whitney's grown weary of the 'group, and set her sights on a bigger challenge. We're thinking Merrill, but if you've got a better idea (JPMorgan), feel free to get it off your chest at this time.
Citi Is Beyond Repair [NYP]
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 11:38AM
We want to see a cat fight between Meredith Whitney and Maria Bartiromo over the financial sector, with Bess Levin and Becky Quick on the tag teams.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 11:50AM
Please stop posting that picture of Meredith's deformed dome piece.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 11:51AM
She is a genius.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 12:11PM
Hit dat sheeeet.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 12:57PM
Is a dominatrix ever really finished with her gimp?
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 1:12PM
I'd hit it.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 1:28PM
"I will not set gear until I have a styrofoam cup'o noodles cup to use as a spittoon. Get on it!"
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 1:36PM
Citi should take the LEH and BSC approach and blame the shorts. I bet they had sumthin' to do with it, sith lords.
-Fake P. Byrne
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 2:03PM
She looks like the type of hooker Eddie Murphy would pick up
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 2:21PM
Her husband is an ex-professional wrestler who sells insurance by day and sex potions on the side. What else do you need to know.
NY Times article on this a few weeks back.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 2:29PM
@2:24, yes, they posted about it.
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 2:54PM
Is her husband a gay wrassler?
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 4:59PM
Tipper Gore lookalike, that pic is 10yrs old
Posted by guest , May 13, 2008 5:34PM
I'd still hit it.