Our Self-Respect: Priceless (Unless You've Got A 5-Spot, In Which Case, SOLD)

Posted by Bess Levin, May 19, 2008, 2:29pm

bearsalesmall.JPGI know everyone still working at Bear Stearns is super busy these days but see if you can find a few free minutes tomorrow or Wednesday to pop on down to the cafeteria. Seriously, I realize that business is through the roof right now, what with all the bond trading you're doing and your hedge funds making more money that you know what to do with, and you probably barely even have time to stop for lunch let alone shop but really, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS. Also, dead serious about the cash only-- Bear's got enough problems holding too much bad debt already.

bearsale.JPG

I know some of you may be asking yourselves, "Why in the name of Jimmy Cayne's dealer would I want to give this dump a dime," which is entirely fair, given recent events. But as an objective voice of reason, let us just say that while you may be feeling upset or hurt or angry toward BSC right this second, you know that you're going to look back on this in a few years and laugh and maybe even think, "You know, I kind of miss that place." And how sad will it be if you don't have a commemorative teddy bear or duffel bag or umbrella with which to wax nostalgic?

4Recommend this! 67Comments

Comments

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 2:33PM

Awww something about that is really sad. And simultaneously hilarious. But mostly just sad.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 2:38PM

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/05/weird_science_nyu_student_inve.html

This guy should start a booth in the cafeteria at BS HQ selling his product.

Posted by golden girl, May 19, 2008 2:38PM

Are they the double-layered umbrellas that won't blow inside out in heavy winds? Cause I need one of those.

Posted by Investorcluzo, May 19, 2008 2:39PM

I plan to auction off my BSC umbrella on eBay! after company store closes for good. only used twice...

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 2:41PM

How do non-BSCers get some BSC items?

Posted by Anal_yst, May 19, 2008 2:45PM

Am I the only one who thinks its a bit ironic that Bear is selling its own employees Fleeces?

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 2:57PM

Anyone notice that people rarely carry those blue and green banker duffle bags anymore? The ones with the bank logs on the straps. Can't just be that so many people lost their jobs. For some reason what once seemed cool just got dorky.

Posted by Anal_yst, May 19, 2008 3:07PM

@ 2:57

Do you know anyone who carries those after their first 6-or-so months on the job?

me neither.

Posted by Capt Obvious, May 19, 2008 3:12PM

running over there to get my girlfriend a BSC thong .. then I'm going to do to her what Jamie Dimon did to Bear

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 3:19PM

How about if one of you clowns volunteers to go get a BSC fleece for me? I don't feel like coming up there to get one. Besides, they probably wouldn't let me in.

The Guy from Delaware

Posted by golden girl, May 19, 2008 3:24PM

@2:57 and @Analyst ...

I carried mine today so there. I love the thing, it's the perfect gym bag. Hmph.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 3:24PM

@ Capt Obvious: Does your GF play for the Yankees?

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/05/17/2008-05-17_jasons_home_run_a_beautiful_thong_in_los.html

Posted by Anal_yst, May 19, 2008 3:46PM

@ GG
Thats what I used mine for, until I realized I was at work too late to hit the gym 4/5 days, hence the upgrade to a kinda real person bag (kinda being the operative word, obviously)

Posted by counterclockwise, May 19, 2008 3:56PM

So sad.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 4:00PM

heard they are offering specials on the limited edition, Jimmy Cayne voodoo doll which features a Bear logo on its arse...

-clueless

Posted by BruceWayne, May 19, 2008 4:00PM

@ 2:41pm

http://www.scarboroughtweed.com/bearstearns/

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 4:05PM

Anal @3:46 No excuse. NYSC at Met Life and 92/Bwy are both open 24 hours. 18/Eighth too, but I would imagine that late at night that one is more of a sex club than a gym. Get yourself to the gym boy, otherwise you'll get all porked up like the formerly fabulous Tanner. Next step after that is a midlife hooker habit. Its not pretty. GAnalYst

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 4:07PM

BruceWayne@4:00PM,

Thank you.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 4:11PM

Thanks BW. I'm going to look smart in my new BS visor!!

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 4:13PM

they did list "fleece". (As in "you've been fleeced".)

Posted by golden girl, May 19, 2008 4:13PM

@Analyst

If growing up means it would be
Beneath my dignity to tote with me
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up, not me

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 4:21PM

golden girl@4:13pm,

Your comment reads like something that was written by a girl who studied too much for the SAT while still in the 6th grade.

Posted by mrpink, May 19, 2008 4:22PM

I like the new porked up Tanner.. Beefy.

-mrp

Posted by golden girl, May 19, 2008 4:40PM

@4:21, why so spiteful? you must have been scarred by captain hook as a child.

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 4:47PM

@4:21 is also confusing golden girl with girl.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:09PM

golden girl & blndebnkr,

Why would a kid in 6th grade be studying for the SAT? I read last week that "girl" and "blndebnkr" both did.

Neither one told us how they eventually scored on the test. Several posters asked but were ignored.

Tell us.

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 5:24PM

I took the SAT in 7th grade as part of a youth talent program(and did some prep work beforehand), got an 1050. Then took them for college entrance when I was a junior and got a 1310. So, in total, I took them twice. Hope that clears everything up.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:26PM

They used to (maybe still do) have some "advanced" students in the 7th grade take the SAT.

I don't know for what purpose, I just remember showing up to the testing location with a few other kids and getting the most hateful looks from the high schoolers there to take the exam.

I definitely didn't study for it before hand, and have no recollection how I did. Actually, I didn't even remember doing it until reading the comments here.

Posted by golden girl, May 19, 2008 5:27PM

Gotta love CTY.

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 5:29PM

@5:26pm - Yeah those high schoolers were pissed. I remember getting my scores back and my older sister flipping a shit because she only beat me by like 50 pts as a junior.

@GG - CTY indeed. I think my mother still has the plaque framed somewhere.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:31PM

1050 & 1310 SAT's ? blndebnkr must work at UBS.

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 5:32PM

@5:31pm - What did you get?

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 5:37PM

I'm out chillins. Enjoy your SAT score pissing contest!

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:37PM

How does a 1050 score qualify you for a 'talent' program... Are you sure it wasn't special ed ?

Posted by blndebnker, May 19, 2008 5:39PM

I got a 1050 when I was 12, moron.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:41PM

5:31 got 1650.

(That was for the new, 3-part SAT. That means 550 each.)

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:41PM

How does a 1050 score qualify you for a 'talent' program... Are you sure it wasn't special ed ?

Posted by golden girl, May 19, 2008 5:44PM

I didn't know people still talked about their SAT's after college.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:45PM

How does a 1050 score qualify you for a 'talent' program... Are you sure it wasn't special ed ?

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 5:53PM

@ 5:37/5:41/5:45 -

You must "qualify" for the program before taking the exam. Given this time constraint, it is impossible to use the resulting score as a basis for qualification.

Your inability to understand both basic timelines and the comment posting function of the website allude to your intelligence level.

Posted by Anal_yst, May 19, 2008 5:54PM

Took that program (whatever it was called) too, gotta 1050 in 7th grade (and was disenheartened to know that was higher than the national highschool average, sigh...)

1310 Blndebnker? I expected better of you! I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that it was a typo and you really got a 1410.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:00PM

blndebnker @5:39pm

Being 12 is no excuse for a 1050, unless you barely speak the language (e.g. you landed in the U.S. a week before the exam without speaking a word of English, got 800 in the math section and randomly punched holes for the verbal section).

Posted by Investorcluzo, May 19, 2008 6:04PM

again, please remind me why we are discussing SAT scores? your score is not going to get you a better job now and I'm fairly certain it's not going to impress the girl/guy standing next to you at the bar...

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:08PM

http://www.scarboroughtweed.com/bearstearns/

initially i read that as scar brought weed. who woulda though jimmy c had so much street cred?

-NSD

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:10PM

As long as we are discussing SAT scores, I just wanted to let everyone know that I got a 1530. Now where's my better job/fuckbuddy?

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:11PM

5:41pm must be one of those proud 600 scorers (200x3)...

550 each x 2 = 1,100 > 1,050 (i.e. still better than blndebnker you moron)

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:15PM

6:04pm - Tell that to your mom. I picked her up at Del Frisco's.

Posted by Investorcluzo, May 19, 2008 6:25PM

@6:15 - I'm not sure if I should be flattered that you think my 62 year old mother is hot or offended that you think my 62 year old mom is hot...either way, I can safely say that woman lied to you; my mom wouldn't come to new york to eat steak and she doesn't drink, a$$clown.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:29PM

@6:25 - Ah, but she didn't have steak she ate a frankfurter.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:34PM

guest@6:10PM,

You tell everyone that you got 1530 on the SAT. What you're not telling us is that 510each x 3 = 1530.

cluzo@6:04PM,

Tell us what you got.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:36PM

All the Enron guys bragged about how smart they were, too.

Posted by Investorcluzo, May 19, 2008 6:41PM

@6:34 - I've got two degrees and a trophy case named after me...like I said before, don't talk to me about SAT scores. talk to me about what you've done. posting anonymously on this board doesn't count.

Posted by Investorcluzo, May 19, 2008 6:42PM

@6:36 - you can add the boys at long term capital to that list too...

Posted by Riskybusiness, May 19, 2008 6:43PM

New item for sale on Ebay. "Liquidity Model Designed by Bear Stearns Risk Group" Very Rare Never used.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 6:53PM

cluzo@6:41,

I have two degrees also.

Naming the book case (trophy Case?) in one's apartment after oneself can't be too difficult. BTW, what do you store in that "trophy" case?

cluzo must not have done too well on the SAT. He got agitated much too quickly.

Posted by Investorcluzo, May 19, 2008 7:04PM

@6:53 - sorry to disappoint. the trophy case holds "trophies" (that's why it's called such). it stores the trophies that have been (and continue to be) won by my alma mater. if you must know, it's for track and cross country (highest gpa out of all sports teams). as for the SAT score, if you look at the posts, you will realize that I was not agitated quickly. the banter between blndebnker/golden girl and "guests" was becoming a little too juvenile. making attacks on people you don't know and that don't know you seems a tad trifle, no?

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 7:14PM

guest@6:36pm, cluzo@6:42pm,

Don't forget this year's crop of Wharton grads.

I read recently that 75% of them can't get jobs.

Guess they'll have to move back in with mom & dad and watch that movie, "Failure to Launch".

Posted by Anal_yst, May 19, 2008 7:17PM

I nominate 6:43 for best comment of the day hahaha

Posted by counterclockwise, May 19, 2008 8:03PM

Some day you will all forget your SAT scores.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 9:54PM

I took that test in the 7th grade at Duke. I think it was called the TIPS program back then, got 750. Four years later made almost twice that and then 780 on the GMATs several years later. (We were on a different scale back in the 90s). But today none of that shit matters, which is why I am far more proud of my history as an early pioneer of 'supermannin' hoes.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 10:58PM

all this arguing about SAT scores. You people clearly dont know how things work. The B students rule the world. They're the ones that went to the good but not great schools, are good looking and smooth. They nab the clients, impress the clients, are smooth and cool and close the deal, whether its corp finance, M&A, portfolio management. Whatever. The kids with what used to be 1600 boards (is it 2400 now?) are the ones working on advanced models till midnight. Cause no one can stand to be with them during the day.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 11:07PM

Also got 1510 for SATS, full score for ACTs and then 750 for GMAT - useful for school entry, but not that sure that it was all that useful for interview/work purposes. Literally shivered when one of the nasty directors commented that I was "too clever for my own good". At that time, I would have given anything to be one of the average kids on the team.

Posted by counterclockwise, May 19, 2008 11:29PM

Didn't Eliot Spitzer get a perfect score on the SAT? Do you think he still brings it up in conversation? No, because the natural question would be "if you're so damn smart, why did you do something so freaking dumb?"

Ulysses S. Grant was at the bottom of the class at Westpoint. He got command of the Union Army only after better-regarded generals failed miserably. Not only did Grant turn out to be the general that won the Civil War and a U.S. President, he also wrote best-selling memoirs admired by Mark Twain. It is said that the clarity of Grant's thought was reflected in his war-time memos, which were easy to grasp and to follow.

It's not in the test scores and the grades, it's in the life.

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 11:31PM

guest@7:14PM,

"Failure to Launch". HaHaHa!!!

Posted by guest, May 19, 2008 11:41PM

Guest@10:58pm,

You must be one of those "good looking" and "smooth" guys to whom you refer in your post.

Are you, or do you just wish to be?

That part your post about "no one can stand to be with them" obviously applies to you. You must be writing from experience.

Posted by guest, May 21, 2008 1:08AM

check out bearstearnslives.com for some really funny products!!!

Posted by guest, May 22, 2008 9:04AM

It looks like you have plenty of time on your hands as well you f&cking hypocrites.

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