Schwarzman Joke Bombs In Boca

Steve Schwarzman, the head of private equity giant Blackstone, has found himself in hot water after he made some remarks at his firm’s boondoggle at Florida’s Boca Raton Resort & Club. In an early morning session, Schwarzman was noodling over Blackstone’s failed attempt to buy the mortgage company PHH, a deal that collapsed when Blackstone discovered no one was willing to lend it money for the acquisition, Peter Lattman explains on DealJournal. To illustrate just how radioactive the mortgage industry has become to financial players, Schwarzman decided to exercise his well known penchant for world history.

“Trying to buy a mortgage bank in the midst of the subprime crisis was the equivalent of being a noodle salesman in Nagasaki when the atomic bomb went off. Not a lot of noodles left, or even a person, and that’s what happened to us on this deal,” Schwarzman said.

Some are now speculating that this remark could have some serious fallout with Blackstone’s business efforts in Japan. If it does mushroom into a major issue, it could cast a cloud over Blackstone's many important Japanese connections. Apparently, some of those Japanese types don’t find noodle salesmen appropriate material for homey, jokey anecdotes.


Steve Schwarzman’s Take on the Subprime Mess
[DealJournal]

Comments

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 5:24PM

Augustus(?) Schwarzman.

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 5:36PM

Steve Schwartzman is a dick with ears; he's not all that smart either. Maybe, instead of causing some business fallout for BX, those gooks may get so pissed at that obnoxious slug, that they might target his ass for real termination.

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 5:45PM

Well there's no need to send him to the gas ovens over this one remark.

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 5:48PM

Ah, c'mon, so he tells a flat joke.What's the big deal? It's not like Uncle Sam didn't rebuild their country and protect them from the big bad bear all these years.It could have been much worse, like Enola getting blown off course and nailing the Imperial Palace...

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 5:54PM

Better analogy: like being a kreplach salesman at Auschwitz.

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 5:57PM

Literary Devices!

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 6:02PM

Some people need to lighten up. If I was of Japanese ancestry I wouldn't give a damn about a comment like this. This whole PC movement has gone way to far.

Posted by Anal_yst, May 08, 2008 6:07PM

Love the title, simple, yet so quality

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 6:37PM

If you want to do business with people of another nationality, you should respect their history and their shared experiences. It's called being diplomatic. It's also called being smart.

If you don't want to do business with people of another nationality, you can blurt out anything at all that enters your mind, and then go and have a beer with your equally clueless buddies, never understanding why your business isn't expanding internationally.

Obviously, Schwarzman has to find a way to apologize to his Japanese clients. Some may know him well enough to excuse the remark, but the Japanese have extremely deep-rooted feelings about the use of the atomic bomb.

Smarten up, some of you commenters. You can't carry your one-dimensional resentment of the "PC movement" into dealings with people in different nations. Do you think the U.S. Army and the State Department advise people representing the U.S. abroad to adopt that kind of attitude?

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 7:12PM

a stupid and offensive comment like that from someone at his position is pretty pathetic. not to mention, he should know better, being a jew. or maybe he gets a kick out of concentration camp jokes. hope it costs him some $$$, which is the only way to hurt him.

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 7:17PM

Hilarious! And a rare opportunity to use all those puns that would otherwise just be corny rather than cheeky. Bravo, Levin. Brav-O!

-Langston Hughes

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 10:20PM

shortly before they exited the M&A advisory business in favor of private equity, he was quoted in the wsj as saying he was very good at explaining things to stupid ceo's. class act.

Posted by guest, May 08, 2008 11:34PM

Funny comment @10:20pm. Thank you for posting it.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 4:23AM

seems as though the MOB has gone very quiet... where is the indignant 100 response banter.
The guys at LOS are right.. it will take a long time before it is safe to go long an asian dude...
http://longorshortcapital.com/when-will-it-be-safe-to-be-long-asian-dudes.htm

my2cents

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 5:11AM

Writing from Tokyo, here. Don't care and don't think any of the Japanese around me care either. Except the other guest here who called Japanese people 'gooks' which is both wrong and frankly wrong as well.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 7:53AM

Writing from Korea here. To confirm, the Japanese are "nips," not gooks. The nips raped and colonized Korea for 45 years and they still haven't apologized for it. They deserved to be nuked.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 8:22AM

It's like being a hot dog salesman at Ground Zero

or a crepe cart vendor at Ypres

or a weiner shnitzel salesman in Dresden


or .....

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 8:24AM

.


... or a kimchi vendor at Inchon

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:07AM

...or a CDO salesman at Citi

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:14AM

@9:07

That's the best one.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:34AM

The biggest problem with his "joke" is that it was forced and unfunny. If you're going to mock victims of a nuclear holocaust at least get a laugh. As for him being a Jew, we don't need or want him. We've already met our quota of smug, self-satisfied "Jewish" wall street assholes with no real connection to Judaism.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:40AM

Agree, "gooks" is awful. I don't think "nips" is appreciated either.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:48AM

What about geek? or Fat? (or Stevie... just saying- i hope the hit men dont come for me..)

Political correctness gone mad.... this is wall street not nursery school

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:51AM

Must, . . . Resist, . . . Peurile, . . .Pun-making, . .must, . resist, . aaaarrgghh, ok f*ck it, Shwartzman is like a crab-claw salesman at Pearl Harbor.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 9:58AM

The picture of SS on the BX website under "The Team" tab doesn't look too much like him these days, does it? The photo tries to hide the fact that he's a lard ass. His jowls are much bigger today, and maybe his crab claws weren't fully developed when the photo was taken.

He's the Picture of Dorian Gray in reverse: He shows all the excess, and the picture stays the same.

By the way, I like calling him "SS". Reminds me of that whole Nazi thing. You know, Heinrich Himmler et al.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 10:21AM

Not saying nips is appropriate, but at least it comes from Nipponese.

Reminds me of the time I was playing a hockey game at Chelsea Piers against a team that had 4 or 5 asians on it. There was a brouhaha, and as the refs were discussing what penalties to hand out, one of the zebras kept saying 'that guy japped him'. I think the guy would have used that expression regardless of the teams racial composition, but he's probably lucky none of them heard it.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 10:43AM

I used to know some crude oil brkers who were heavy into cocaine use and they were the first persons I ever heard use the word "jap" as a verb in the past tense.

One of the brokers was a worthless slacker who snorted pounds of cocaine and had clever nicknames for people. I was flying to NY one day out of Houston and the guy next to me and I started talking about oil company clients. He asked me if I knew the famous slacker and I said, "Yes I do...he calls me "The Vested Bass" and the guy looks at me and says "I'm a The Bluegill"!! Hilarious ...but I guess you'd have to know the slacker and I'm pretty sure some of you here do.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 10:55AM

arent all brokers slackers?

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 11:03AM

isn't a slacker by def someone who can't afford cocaine?

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 11:14AM

Let's get back to "Gooks", "Nips", "Japped", and Jews. "SS" Schwartzman is more interesting than some coked-out, obscure & forgotten trader.

Posted by guest, May 09, 2008 1:05PM

His board ought to be outraged by his insensitive arrogrance or else they will be painted with the same brush if they do not publically rebuke him

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