The Wall Street bonus pool will be even shallower this year, according to the most obvious report ever.
As merger activity slows and banks write down billions of dollars of assets, bonuses for investment bankers and stock and bond traders could decline by at least 10 percent in 2008, while top executive bonuses could fall by as much as 35 percent, according to the report dated May 2.The credit crisis will mostly affect bonuses for workers directly involved in trading and selling assets like subprime mortgage bonds, the report said.
It's kind of awesome that someone got paid to write that report.
Wall Street bonuses could slide in 2008: report [Reuters]
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 11:30AM
seriously, does reuters really think this qualifies as news? must be a slow day on the wire. someone probably went back to 2002 and dusted off the same story only to update the story date and change "internet" to "sub prime". should I make the obvious comment about just how much the person got paid to "write" that?
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 11:31AM
My Sociology prof used to say that the military industrial complex makes sure that a certain number of Americans are poor and unemployed in order to hold down the wages of the rest of us. Maybe Wall Street fires people to keep down the bonuses of the still employed .
Posted by GinNTonic , May 15, 2008 11:35AM
Only 10%? Thats news to me
Posted by Anal_yst , May 15, 2008 11:37AM
I like how they predict bonuses falling only 10%, like saying JPM might cut at least 10% of BSC staff. Not only is this "story" a sham, but the numbers are completely arbitrary.
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 11:40AM
Given the shitty biz environment, bonuses down 10%...done. Would take that in a NYC minute...we would be lucky to escape with a 50% reduction...news flash...no one is making any money....when no one makes money, no one gets paid.
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 11:48AM
I have to say guys, this is all very disheartening.
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 11:50AM
Does this mean that Reuters has kicked off the most depressing BONUS BUMPER season in recent memory?
Posted by GinNTonic , May 15, 2008 11:54AM
Come on Bess / Carney, analyst bonuses are only a month away. Where are the spreadsheets!
Posted by a dead horse , May 15, 2008 12:03PM
Reuters, please stop beating me. Thanks.
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 12:03PM
blndebnker: c'mon now! you didn't really think bonuses would be up (did you?). last year, flat was the new down. this year, down will be the new flat. never fear, however, the lower down the totem pole you are, the less pain you will feel come pay day. just be thankful you aren't north of the vp level...
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 12:13PM
No Cluzo I knew. It's still depressing. And speak for yourself as far as flat this past year! Boooo.
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 12:18PM
bb: if you only knew! not to mention, all that stock I got...let's just say I won't be selling it any time soon. I felt (and still feel) your pain.
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 12:19PM
Where the heck did the story "Citi Never Sleeps, Except On Days It's Trading Below 50" just disappear to??
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 12:22PM
When bonuses are outlawed only outlaws will get bonuses.
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 12:26PM
@Cluzo - Wait do you mean you were better or worse than flat?
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 12:37PM
its probably means he has man-boobs
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 12:38PM
@bb: worse - relative to what the class ahead of me got the prior year. not to fear, it wasn't down from what I made the prior year.
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 12:41PM
@Cluzo - Ahhh. No see mine was up. By a lot. Hence the disappointment about this coming year. :( Who knows though. Still got 7 months to turn it around... right??
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 12:45PM
or 7 months to further fk it up! but let's be optimists, it's thursday...
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 12:46PM
@Cluzo - Exaaaactly. Either way I'm toasting to it tonight ha.
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 12:47PM
what a bunch of phonies!!! you're genius financiers, spend half your day posting here and boast your comp is going up??
hahahaha.......
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:00PM
We are like an airplane without a partner!
~Genius Financier
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:08PM
Jethro!...they be a beatin' up my bubblin' crude today!
~Jed Clampett
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 1:09PM
@genius financier - what the fk is "an airplane without a partner"?
@12:47 - you found us out. we're all frauds, that's why we don't know anything about dcf's or CAPITAL markets.
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 1:09PM
@12:47pm - They just pay me to look pretty anyway so I'm allowed to post all day long.
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:10PM
@clueless--for a playahh, you sure be postin' a lot
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:13PM
@blndbnker...you've felt the need to tell us how good looking you are a lot lately. why is that?
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 1:16PM
@1:10 - who said I was a "playahh" (other than you)? and you don't have anything better to do than read my posts?
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:17PM
I don't know...I saw "like an airplane without a partner" used in a long DB thread the other day and I liked it because it was like someone pulled the emergency brake on the thread and everything rattled to a stop for a bit. By the way, I have been amusing myself reading Chuck Lorre's story boards while waiting to see if the guillotine blade falls next week. I was going to use the word "axe" but all the second year trade staff thinks I'm talking about a trader when I use that word and it causes them to look up from Facebook and ask "Who?"
~Genius Financier
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 1:19PM
@1:13pm - Actually I don't think I've mentioned it before. And besides, I was joking. I'm really a heffer.
Posted by lift all the offers , May 15, 2008 1:19PM
I'm thinking bonuses at Citi are incrementally higher today, if they are letting go some of their sleeping traders.
Posted by girl , May 15, 2008 1:21PM
It's kind of awesome that someone got paid to post that report, too.
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 1:22PM
@genius - I saw it too, "onetwo" used the term and I have been trying to figure it out ever since. perhaps @1:10 knows, 'cause s/he's not "clueless"...
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:25PM
@clueless - I read your posts as a source of constant amusement. Dont go hatin' on me now!
@bb- I think you mean 'heifer'. So, spelling and IB-ing isnt your thing.
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 1:25PM
@ Genius - You guys still have Facebook? They yanked that from us forever ago. Color me jealous.
Posted by Anal_yst , May 15, 2008 1:26PM
@ Girl
you're assuming that Reuters hasn't developed an algo designed to mine past stories, analyze them for relevence (or lack thereof) to the present, "alter" them to account for the temporal rift, and post them as if they're news
Posted by girl , May 15, 2008 1:31PM
ah anal, I was referring to Carney
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:42PM
Cluzo
2007 - flat is the new up
2008 - job is the new flat
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:46PM
When are we going to pull a girl/1-2 set up and hook cluzo and blndebnker up already? I'm tired of their "banter".
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 15, 2008 1:54PM
@1:46 - girl/1-2 are already an item, where you been?
@1:42 - very good point.
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 1:55PM
blndebnkr - show us your meat curtains!
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 2:01PM
I think clueless is married already. Well, to his Mom's basement computer and the porn it gets him, anyway.....
Posted by blndebnker , May 15, 2008 2:09PM
@1:25pm - Thanks for the spelling tip. I like to spell fonetikally for kicks sometimes.
@1:46pm - I'm sorry that my banter doesn't amuse you.
@1:55pm - Good luck with that.
Posted by golden girl , May 15, 2008 2:12PM
Jesus. What is this, IRC?
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 3:26PM
can't be any lower than the crappy bonuses citi hands out...
Posted by guest , May 15, 2008 3:56PM
Where is the predictive spreadsheet you had last year?