• 30 May 2008 at 4:35 PM

The Weekend Escape: Might As Well Forget About It

By John Carney

Hamptons Snow On The Beach.jpgWe’re sorry you are still in the office and not already plowing through your third mojito and sailing away for blackout island. We’d at least like to bring you the good news that the roads are still clear and you won’t spend the first five hours after leaving the office stuck on the LIE inhaling exhaust.
We’d like to but we can’t. According to Traffic.Com, you are totally screwed. The traffic jam on either side of midtown tunnel is completely jammed. So it looks like it is either the LIRR or another Friday night in your usual Friday night haunts, except that they’ll be weirdly abandoned. There won’t even be any girls out tonight because instead of going to some place where they might actually meet a man, they’ll all be seeing some film about girls looking for men.
You’re probably better off staying in town anyway. It’s going to be cold and windy all weekend. Isolated thunderstorms in the morning will become severe in the afternoon. They’re even talking about hail. Good luck.

Comments (21)

  1. 1
    Posted by big r | May 30, 2008 at 4:38 PM

    since when is john carney chuck scarborough?
    on a lighter note – whos got happy hour plans?

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | May 30, 2008 at 4:57 PM

    “where they might actually BE a man”?

  3. 3
    Posted by Anal_yst | May 30, 2008 at 4:59 PM

    Happy hour plans: Torture @ verizon store, then driving heavily, although where is still TBD (or as Michael said in last night’s excellent Office) TDB
    Suggestions?

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | May 30, 2008 at 5:03 PM

    While on the left coast, temps in the low-80′s, perfectly clear, with a gentle breeze. Going to a car show Sunday – outdoors. Have to remember to put on the sunblock… But, alas, I have to admit I’m not at the center of the financial universe.

  5. 5
    Posted by Anal_yst | May 30, 2008 at 5:06 PM

    er wow I mean drinking heavily…damn freud and his mysterious slips!

  6. 6
    Posted by big r | May 30, 2008 at 5:10 PM

    KLW – bring Bess

  7. 7
    Posted by onetwo | May 30, 2008 at 5:19 PM

    @KLW – since when is bess a hot female friend? (i kiiid)
    @Carney – wtf are you talking about? I just checked traffic.com and they said traffic was moving swimmingly the entire way; midtown tunnel is taking 6 minutes.

  8. 8
    Posted by Anal_yst | May 30, 2008 at 5:23 PM

    @ KLW
    I’ll meet you at Hawiian Tropic Zone, 730 sharp. I’ll be the mysterious handsome one drinking straight from the tap @ the bar

  9. 9
    Posted by Bulging Bracket | May 30, 2008 at 5:23 PM

    So the options are freezing at the summer share or getting hammered at a sausage party bar in Manhattan. Worst. Weekend. Ever.

  10. 10
    Posted by big r | May 30, 2008 at 5:29 PM

    anywhere in this bloody town where i can get a pint of mikes hard? thatd make my weekend.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | May 30, 2008 at 5:29 PM

    Just find a bar used in Sex and the City, should be CRAWLING with tourist chicks acting out their NY whore dreams. I know its painful, but you have to make the best of a bad situation.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | May 30, 2008 at 5:35 PM

    The LIRR?
    What makes you think you would be less screwed by the LIRR? They screw you, then tell you how great they are doing.
    At least in traffic you KNOW what is happening.

  13. 13
    Posted by Anal_yst | May 30, 2008 at 5:37 PM

    @ 5:29
    Where?! Please, don’t tease, enlighten us, NOW!

  14. 14
    Posted by GinNTonic | May 30, 2008 at 5:37 PM

    Agree with 5:29, any bar that has serves cosmos should be swimming with the post-Sex & the City crowd. Only problem is that they’ll be in packs…of like 10.

  15. 15
    Posted by Anal_yst | May 30, 2008 at 5:41 PM

    Are we talking like W union square sorta place, or what?

  16. 16
    Posted by GinNTonic | May 30, 2008 at 5:41 PM

    Anal_yst
    You owe me a drink:
    http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/42959

  17. 17
    Posted by big r | May 30, 2008 at 6:04 PM

    anal_yst – union sq is prob a good bet bc of the huge theatre near there

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | May 30, 2008 at 6:06 PM

    You boys should go to these:
    http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/42693

  19. 19
    Posted by big r | May 30, 2008 at 6:10 PM

    @ 6:09 – the quality of girls coming out of the movie tonight will not be the waverly inn type. id expect something more along the lines of W hotel, tops.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | May 30, 2008 at 6:46 PM

    Too long, didn’t read.

  21. 21
    Posted by Finnegan | May 31, 2008 at 5:47 AM

    I’m not sure but don’t the women in SATC end up ditching or not forgiving their men?
    So all those rotund packs of tourist chicks living out the sluttery dream will instead come out the film full of “sister power” and animosity.

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