As you all know, Equity Private's tenure with us here at DealBreaker is drawing to a close, pending the triumphant* return of John Carney this Monday. We begged her to stay, because she irritates the commenters better than anyone we know, but apparently there are more important things for Trixie to tend to than Kliarney’s houseplants. What, praytell? We could just come out and say it, but given your performance with the Fed fund rates, John insisted we put it to our genius readers first. After the jump, we’ve assembled a series of possibilities, one of which is correct.
*Brace yourselves. There will be copious fist-pumping. AND: NSFW pictures of rice, plus what promises to be a brutal fallout from mixing ecstasy and opium, as manifested in one sentence posts along the lines of “I feel so much like giving up” and then links to:
1. Stories about how the Carter Administration set motion the current and ongoing destruction of the dollar.
2. Websites loaded with inspirational cat posters from the 1970s in a desperate, self-soothing bid to stave off the demons inside.
A. Private equity acquisition of the Chicago Cubs.
B. Private equity acquisition of DynCorp (Blackwater is "in play," and expensive).
C. Second in command at her firm's new distressed fund.
D. Restructuring certain operations of Linen's ‘n Things.
E. Assembling a rival bid to Apple's pending Fabrique Nationale de Herstal acquisition.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:06PM
Trixie == LP Trixie == Cubs
Posted by diablo , May 02, 2008 2:10PM
I was about to ask where the hell is Carney but you answered.
EP is going to do #3.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:11PM
I've come to like EP. Dealbreakers, don't let her go!
Posted by girl , May 02, 2008 2:21PM
I hate cats but that one's impressively cute and forlorn
Posted by Suits , May 02, 2008 2:28PM
That picture was probably taken in the 70's so that particular cat is likely long dead.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:30PM
the answer is B.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:32PM
@ Suit: That comment made my day.
Posted by diablo , May 02, 2008 2:36PM
OK, Bess changed the multiple choice. I say C (the previous #3).
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:40PM
3. Websites loaded with inspirational cat posters from the 1970s in a desperate, self-soothing bid to stave off the demons inside.
Posted by ep , May 02, 2008 2:44PM
"That picture was probably taken in the 70's so that particular cat is likely long dead."
Or perished in the fall from the tree right after that photo was taken.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:44PM
The IT guys just came in to ask me why I was looking at at pussy on company machines!!!!!!! Can't you guys put NSFW or something on those kinds of pics?
When the IT guys make a "raid" like that it disturbs the debt traders who are trying to lose a billion more dollars and those traders complain because it knocks them out of their "zone" you know..
Posted by girl , May 02, 2008 2:47PM
take it back, Suits.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:55PM
@Girl et al
It's a Simpsons quote, just like everything else, ever.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:55PM
F. Doing a rewrite on "The Way We Live Now." Featuring Leon Black.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 2:57PM
@2:44...what are you talking about? where's the pussy pic?
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:05PM
Here are some more motivational posters for the final few hours of the work week.
http://www.marcofolio.net/imagedump/top_40_demotivational_posters.html
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98159
http://www.despair.com/viewall.html
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:17PM
The answer is A
Posted by Anal_yst , May 02, 2008 3:36PM
love those motivational posters, should have a few around here (ya know, to really inspire the crew and all)
Posted by diablo , May 02, 2008 3:36PM
If the answer is A I know who "Trixie" is.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:41PM
bess refers to people as trixie all the time, don't think it's a clue.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:43PM
http://dealbreaker.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-search.cgi?IncludeBlogs=10&search=trixie&searchsubmit.x=0&searchsubmit.y=0&searchsubmit=submit
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:44PM
@ 3:05. Ta.
Bear Stearns: When your best is not good enough.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:48PM
Keep EP, send Bess away...
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 3:50PM
@3:48-- um, no.
Posted by ep , May 02, 2008 4:17PM
"Posted by guest, May 02, 2008 3:48PM
Keep EP, send Bess away..."
Listen XO communications, Class Y airfare boy, Ms. Levin has more class in her evaporated saliva than can be detected in any trace of your existence here on the planet.
Really, I suggest you cool it with the comments (you seem unable to comment on anything but Bess)* since your latent desire to possess her is beginning to show and, more importantly, I would hate to have to feed you your own bloody spleen served on the jagged, crimson-splattered edge of a heirloom-tarnished and badly dulled silver wedding cake knife (it was lost during the Hunt Brothers' episode).
* the following represent the entirety of your comments on DB
O' Bess Bess - How old did you tell him you were? In response to: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/04/they_all_also_admitted_to_bein.php
Bess is just jealous, she can't get any play... In response to: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/04/beautiful_london_the_glick_rep.php
Say what you want about EP, she does write about finance... Bess Bess "writes" snarky comments about people who work in finace. I'll take EP over Bess anyday. In response to: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/04/closer_to_end_but_not_really.php
I usually think Bess is an idiot, but she somehow figured out that the AR-15/M-16 is the same weapons package. Well I still think she is an idiot. When she learns the diff. between IRR and NPV she can start to write about us... In response to: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/04/cerberus_now_taking_investment.php
To the Joshua Tree crew - Bess is gonna be on the prowl tonight looking to get slamed over & over again... In response to: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/05/join_me_mo_rocca_as_i_dump_a_l.php
EP, send Bess away... In response to: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/05/what_the_hell_could_be_more_im.php
Posted by Novice , May 02, 2008 4:24PM
2:55 Maybe if Tom Wilkinson had more hair, he could do the Black/Melmotte role.
Also, if we were to hypothetically bomb Carney's plane, would EP stay longer? And would we receive bonus points for going long on General Dynamics and Lockheed immediately prior to doing so?
Posted by guest , May 02, 2008 5:11PM
While we're motivating...
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=h9awJ0U-QcU&feature=related
I'm working on adding a shot of me in front of my 14 trading screens at the end of this, but I don't think anyone will get it.
Posted by stimpy tec , May 03, 2008 7:32AM
As an EP fan first and Dealbreaker reader second (and as very much a mere spectator to all things financial), I want to nonetheless put in a word of appreciation for DB. Some time ago, I decided that the smart thing to do was to just stop reading American economic news entirely, and focus on the rest of the world - to tear my eyes away from the hypnotic spectacle of all those evaporating billions, something that might go on for years, and look for wherever it was that the future was springing up unnoticed. But DB kept me watching! OK, so maybe I did the dumb thing rather than the smart thing. But it was certainly fun to do.