Write-Offs: 05.14.08

Posted by Bess Levin, May 14, 2008, 5:34pm

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$$$ Blackstone Goes “Reservoir Dogs” [Deal Journal]

$$$ Crab Hands/Nicole Kidman looking good in BX's annual report. Download the entire, glossy thing. [Blackstone]

$$$ Bubble Land: The Semiotics of the BX annual report. [Epicurean Dealmaker]

$$$ My Life At Bear Stearns: Not Just Sitting Around Waiting To Get Fired! [Clusterstock]

$$$ 13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers: Someone Make Him Governor Quick! [money.co.uk]

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Comments

Posted by Anal_yst, May 14, 2008 5:57PM

Spot-on analysis from TED, especially Re: Schwarzman's hammer-time-style parachute pants.

Posted by guest, May 14, 2008 6:05PM

I think the report looks great, actually. The photos of the people were obviously spliced in, and I believe it's supposed to look like they were. It's a cool, modern look.

And I suspect Schwartzman's just hiding a solid belly with those pants.

Posted by guest, May 14, 2008 6:10PM

The Wild Bunch from Blackstone look as threatening as the gang who terrorize the 4:45 pm sitting down at Shady Acres Community Living dining room.Get Pete Peterson a walker, fer crissakes!

Posted by guest, May 14, 2008 6:27PM

That kid with the credit card thing is a hoax:

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=64104

Posted by counterclockwise, May 14, 2008 8:18PM

I agree with Anal_yst about the Epicurian Dealmaker's breakdown of the Blackstone annual report. Funny.

However, the thing that struck me about the report was the opening photo of purported Blackstone employees. In the foreground were six large figures, a scrupulously equal number of men and women, no doubt faithfully representing the distribution of sexes at all levels of the firm. The six were split down into three heterosexual couples in ridiculous poses of conducting a conversation. Two of the three women were very young, tall, slender blondes. The third woman was a short, black gray-haired woman jarringly older than the rest. All the men were young, white, tall, and slender. The only other black woman in the report was an abject stylist crouching in the shadows, adoring the glowing form of Nicole Kidman. A model portraying someone else's employee digging next to an orange tree may have been a black man.

In fact, in the first few pages of the report there was a total of three great-looking blondes -- the two blonde women employees and Nicole Kidman. Someone had a fetish to work out.

The annual report seems to be a demented "before" effort by one of the five black-suited guys. You would have hoped that the ad agency that actually produced this report would have had a deeper grasp of the images conveyed.

Posted by Novice, May 14, 2008 11:01PM

6:05 is right judging from how strained the button looks on Schwarzman's jacket.

Posted by guest, May 15, 2008 9:34AM

Emm, the "Nicole Kidman" featured is one of the attractions in BStone backed waxworks museum Madam Tussauds.

Posted by guest, May 15, 2008 9:58AM

TED was bang on, although he does have a well known grudge against Schwartzman.

Then again, who can blame him?

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