Like many of the former Bear Stearns workers not currently employed, erstwhile CEO Alan Schwartz will be taking the summer off to plot his next career move. (Things are slightly different for Schwartz in that he has actual job offers, but whatevs.) Supposedly he’s deciding between staying with the newly formed Bearpont Morgan Chase, where the slot for a “We are drowning in liquidity” guy remains unfilled, or heading over to private equity, possibly with Kohlberg Kravis Roberts. According to the Post, Schwartz has told friends that he’s being “judicious” about the decision, though that quote was surely taken out of context and has less to do with Big Al’s career trajectory than a late season summer share, having missed the deadline to join Jimmy Cayne at bridge camp.
Bear’s Schwartz To Mull Bids Over Summer [NYP]
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Yeah so I contracted for the services of that guy from Houlihan’s last night. There’s a reason he’s looking for a new job. First of all he fucked up my shit, i ordered chipotle shooters, not jalapeno poppers, you’d think he’d be able to tell the difference right? Then i noticed he was only wearing 3 pieces of flair (though one was a giant sandwich board), still he was slackin. This type of shit would never happen at Houlihan’s competitors like Think equity, Gleacher, Imperil capital, or Friedman billings or as I know them T.G.I.F’s. At any rate, when I asked for my fucking check the guy made a big deal about it. Presenting it to me item by item going on about his opinion on the fairness of my total. I mean I’m just trying to complete my freakin transaction here and the guy is going on and on like he actually did something. I just need him to give me the fucking sheet of paper so i can sign it and everyone can get up from the table. We didn’t really need his analysis, we’ve all seen half baked shit get rung up and sold to someone dumber enough to swallow it.
So whatever, his services were both irrelevant and redundant but I only tipped him 10bps, so net net he didn’t destroy any real value.
at least u gave him a shot