And We're Back

Posted by Bess Levin, Jun 30, 2008, 3:39pm

What transpired in the 4 hours since Count Vikula hacked into our system and shut this place down?

-- Massage enthusiast Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty to paying underage girls to awkwardly stand by while he jerked off into a towel. He was sentenced to 18 months in prison, plus a year of house arrest, and will be given the official title of sex offender. Adding insult to injury is the news that he will definitely not have the scratch to take up with the prosts, at least not with the same vigor, following the hard time. Epstein lost $57 million as "Major Investor No.1" in the Bear Stearns hedge funds.

-- Vanity Fair/Bear blamed CNBC, where "there is simply no adult supervision," for BSC going down, and also claimed that a group of hedge fund managers celebrated the collapse at a breakfast the following Sunday morning during which they "planned a similar assault on Lehman" for the following week BUT FAILED TO TELL US WHAT THEY ATE.

-- We received cloak and dagger emails from a few of you about "something happening at Lehman."

-- Carney, as one of you guessed, staged a Free Epstein rally, topless, while I watched one of the best "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" episodes ever, "Charlie Wants An Abortion." If you haven't seen it, stop what you're doing and rectify that now. My favorite part is this little bit of dialogue (looking for a clip) between Mac and Meg, a pro-lifer he's trying to bed, at an abortion clinic protest:

Mac: [yelling outside an abortion clinic] Pro-choice is pro-death!
Megan: Wow! Great rhetoric!
Mac: Thank you.
Megan: Hey, you're really hardcore, aren't you?
Mac: Oh, well, you know. I mean, if you really want to see hardcore...
[pulls out a paper and gives it to Megan]
Megan: What's this?
Mac: That's the list of doctors I'm gonna kill.
Megan: There's two already crossed out.
Mac: Yeah, I know.
[cuts to shot of them going at it in car]

2Recommend this! 52Comments

Comments

Posted by Lowly Assistant, Jun 30, 2008 3:47PM

I prefer my Charlie with a white horse named "Peter Nincompoop" and a sniffly Dee; but, yes abortions are always funny.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:49PM

Anybody believe the rumor about Barclays buying LEH under the current price of $20?

Bueller, Bueller?

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:51PM

Heard that Duane Read is buying Lehman. Need more retail space around Times Square.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:54PM

I didn't realize that Vik had such l33t 5k1llz. Was WarGames on AMC this weekend and he picked up some tips?

"Shall we play a game?"

--CS

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:55PM

haha 3.51 I believe it!!

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:57PM

Wow. Two Matthew Broderick 80's film references at random within a few minutes. Armageddon is upon us.

--CS

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:59PM

Has the fact that JPM announced it will fully guaranty all Bear debt and preferred been covered by the Carner or is he still out of pocket? Bear CDS will cease to trade so get your kicks in this one while you still can.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 3:59PM

There's no media bias. Everyone who is against abortion is a cold-blooded doctor killer.

The people that slice and dice up fetus and vaccum them out or toss them whole into a garbage pail, on the other hand,
are enlightened.

and wall street wonders why its own blindness undoes it every 5 years.

***
I stand at an abortion mill every Saturday morning.

I see women of all ages, mostly minorities, escorted by girlfriends, parents, or nobody.

I volunteer at a Catholic crisis pregnancy center. The women who choose not to abort their child in what is obviously difficult circumstances stay around a year. The Sisters who run the place are some of the brightest, kindest human beings on the planet -- they've given up all that life could offer them to give their lives to these women and their babies.

Often the women need a place to stay because they've been put out on the street by boyfriends who don't want to be fathers and parents who don't want to be grandparents. They are given an ultimatum: abort the baby or you're on your own.

I wouldn't trade a million bsd's or all the money on the Forbes 400 for the soul of one of those women, or one of their babies.

***
Enjoy your summer in the Hamptons. You could mortgage your place 10 times over, and never be able to buy a conscience.

***
you can send me all your feedback at thestockoperator@yahoo.com. I'll answer each and every one as time permits.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:00PM

"BUT FAILED TO TELL US WHAT THEY ATE"

obviously, crab salad.

Posted by lemmerdeur, Jun 30, 2008 4:00PM

You do know that embalming oneself with alcohol and passing out after flailing in a curb-side ditch for a quarter of an hour does not constitute a "protest", yes?

Posted by HAM05, Jun 30, 2008 4:03PM

abortion keeps killer babies from mugging and stealing money from white people


..aaaand go

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:03PM

I just heard something's happening at LEH. I think Buffett may buy 'em.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:04PM

HAM i agree with that statement on SO many levels

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:06PM

Maybe we should abort the South and the MidWest.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:08PM

I hear there is a bidding war for LEH between Buffet, Barclays, Melissa Francis, Countrywide, and MBIA.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:08PM

I wish Charles Wright aka the "stockoperator" had been aborted so I hadn't read his drivel.

Posted by Anal_yst, Jun 30, 2008 4:09PM

@ CS

I really could go for a Whopper (sp?) right now, mmmmm

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:09PM

CHARLIE'S BROTHER IS NOT MAC, JUST CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

DENNIS AND DEE ARE TWINS ON THE SHOW, AND FRANK (DANNY DEVITO) IS THEIR DAD.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:09PM

What's worse CS is both of the references came from within a 10 block area.

CS II

Posted by StMarc, Jun 30, 2008 4:12PM

I know all about the alleged link between lower crime rates and legalized abortion (it seems plausible but I don't know enough about it to know if it's the real deal.) However, I am not aware of any studies detailing the cost savings in entitlements which may have resulted.

If it reduces crime AND lowers taxes/government spending, I don't see how a Republican could stand there with a straight face and oppose it.

Just sayin'. (And I'm neither a Democrat or a Republican. I usually register as a Conscientious Objector.)

M

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:14PM

I wish the Supreme Court would give men abortion rights. Men have been deprived of equal reproductive rights for too long.

Posted by Clown Capital , Jun 30, 2008 4:17PM

If you lose 57 million with no recompense on the horizon, you should be allowed to jerk off in a towel. It's therapeutic...

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:17PM

StMarc then perhaps you fail to understand the distinction that major political parties are loose coalitions of various blocs of voters with differing social and economic views.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:19PM

4:14 agreed. here here!

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:20PM

Hey, what about "trans-gendered" abortion rights? They too have been deprived of equal reproductive rights for too long?

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:22PM

Transgender(s) cannot get pregnant unless both parties consent to the pregnancy (in a lab).

Posted by StMarc, Jun 30, 2008 4:25PM

What am I, Steven Wright?

That was a *joke,* son, it was a... look at me when I'm talkin' to you, son... it was a JOKE.

Nice boy, but if he was a pencil, you'd wear out your pocketknife tryin' to get him sharp.

M

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:28PM

Pretty funny Brosefer. You should do stand-up.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:35PM

Lehman needs an abortion to survive

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:36PM

@ 4:22.

Clearly you never saw the People magazine with the pregnant transgendered dude. She became a he. He retained her female reproductive organs (he got her breasts deleted and then added a male fun stick). Because i just skimmed the article (so i may be wrong) i believe he can still get pregnant the old fashioned way. Thus, i believe this issue is has some legitimacy.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:40PM

@4:36 Still counts as a woman... If a dude gets him pregnant, he still doesn't have rights. And obviously, a woman cannot get him pregnant.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:53PM

@ 408

And you would be whom?

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 4:54PM

9-odd million people west of Kenora and there's two Calgary [what's the plural of Schmooze? Is it like moose? One moose. Two moose. One Schmooze. Two Schmooze. ?]

Ok guy, if you're gonna be a buddy, you have to use your schmoozing powers for awesome starting Friday at Stampede (really, Thursday if you're good and starting this past weekend if you're hard-core) Nothing less than ultra-hotties, free rodeo ducats and no waiting in line-ups at bars.

--CS

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 5:00PM

@ 4:53 Your momma.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 5:03PM

"Day Man" rocks, but "Night Man" rules.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 5:13PM

This market's going to fall like a Russian fashion model.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 5:14PM

CS - i am the CS.2 the girl version.
I don't believe in standing in stampede line-ups. Rodeo is always infield. Ultra-hotties? (seriously, from a chicks stand point it is very amusing to see white urban dudes dress up as cowboys.Kind of like a gay halloween - sorry just saying.)
Thursday is always the start date (who would miss drinking on goz).

CS.2

ps - may favorite stampede saying - remember boys it is all fun and games until someone loses a house! Which really does happen every Stampede after some married finds the ultra-hotties.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 5:16PM

You know there was a time where I'd help you raise this little dumpster baby brother of mine like a son. But that's gone now 'cause you ruined it. You threw your babies away. And you threw your swords away. You threw your golf clubs and your tasty treats! And ya know what? I found 'em. And I'm gonna raise all of them!

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 5:26PM

@4:40 actually transgendered are trying to get legal gender recognition seperate and apart from the current legallly defined male/female gender.

I know boggles the mind.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 6:04PM

Just two men sharing the night
It might seem wrong but it's just right
It's just two men sharing each other
It's just two men like loving brothers
One on top, and one on bottom
One inside, and one is out
One is screaming he's so happy
The other's screaming a passionate shout
It's the Night Man
The feeling so wrong it's right man
the feeling so wrong...
I can't fight you man when you come inside me and pin me down your strong hands and I'll become the Night....the passionate, passionate Night Man.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 6:04PM

@5:03 totally agree with you about "Night Man". This really says it all:

Just two men sharing the night
It might seem wrong but it's just right
It's just two men sharing each other
It's just two men like loving brothers
One on top, and one on bottom
One inside, and one is out
One is screaming he's so happy
The other's screaming a passionate shout
It's the Night Man
The feeling so wrong it's right man
the feeling so wrong...
I can't fight you man when you come inside me and pin me down your strong hands and I'll become the Night....the passionate, passionate Night Man.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 6:11PM

you're a master of karate and friendship... for everyone.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 6:17PM

CS.2 -

Not everyone has the skills to pull off a reasonable cowboy look. The tools at shops that sponsor a chuck tarp and/or commercial real estate guys look especially ridiculous in their walking-billboard shirts and such.

And, really, no one needs to be in Wranglers that require a shoe horn and a can of axle grease to get into...

It's always nice when guys like George, Brett, Rafi, etc. pick up the tab.

See you at the VIP tent at Wednesday's Roundup.

--Calgary Schmooze, male version.

Posted by Bulging Bracket, Jun 30, 2008 6:34PM

@CS.1 I'll hopefully be in town for the weekend. Should get in mid afternoon friday. Visiting a friend in town, might not see much daylight, but any suggestions if we get bored (unlikely) or tired (rather likely)?

She's a local and is pretty hooked in (ahh oil companies), but can always use more ideas. I was specifically told I wasn't allowed to get in Thursday because she's going to the Maxim party.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 6:38PM

@6:04 - You rock.

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 6:45PM

CS -
I am to old for Brett and actually have had some great times with Rafi durning stampede (non house losing fun). As for the others - it has to be part of the CS technique to allow them to pick up the tab (no?). Stampede parties haven't been the same since rob peters "left" Peters&Co and thus Firewater Friday at Victoria Park park was no more
.

It will be different this year without the old Cowboys.....

You will be on your own on Wednesday. Let me know how it was. If i start too early i can't make it through the weekend.

Shoe horn Wranglers are matched by all the cougars in half tee's showing off silicon valley.

CS.2

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 7:00PM

@BB:

http://www.socialshop.storebuilderplus.com/stampedespreadsheet.html

It'll be easy to find trouble on the first weekend.


@Anal:

Ratt is in town Thursday, but alas, I am pre-booked.


@CS2:

Roundup/old-O&Y party is next week @Fort Calgary. At least Rob brings in an appropriate number of porta-potties vs. the 30 AEG brought in for the 15000+ @Virgin Fest a week ago. Yikes.

Stampede parties haven't been the same since Fracmaster ceased to exist and stopped dropping $100k/day on their "breakfasts".


--CS

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 7:16PM

Lehman will be turned into a huge McDonald's and Starbucks

that's all those chimps are good for anyway

Posted by guest, Jun 30, 2008 8:51PM

At least half of these comments sound like something out of a crappy Bret Easton Ellis
novel.

Posted by Investorcluzo, Jun 30, 2008 10:04PM

charlie wants an abortion is some funny $hit, I can't believe I watched the whole episode on my computer. despite the entertainment value, I think I want my 23 minutes back.

Posted by guest, Jul 01, 2008 8:06AM

what the hell, is Calgary Schmooze having a conversation with himself? CS are you turning into a guy from Delaware?

Posted by guest, Jul 07, 2008 3:50PM

Where does one find underage hookers? All I can get are 18 year olds & up...

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