mozilo-2.jpgCountrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo nearly started crying at the last CFC shareholder meeting. The salty discharge was overshadowed, comedy-wise, however, by the Moz’s promise– and he actually said this– that Bank of America “will reap the benefits of what we have sowed.” If that is not the greatest veiled threat EVER uttered, I don’t know what is. And you know he wanted to continue with something like, say, “Those suckers don’t even have a clue what they’re in for. Seriously, the long-term effects, merely taking lawsuits into account, will be not unlike having a scalding hot poker violently inserted where the sun don’t shine. [pauses for effect] They might as well have bought an asbestos company. In fact? Probably would’ve been better off doing so. Honestly, though, this deal is like getting a very expensive answer to the question, ‘what does it feel like to be ass-raped for an eternity?’ [shakes head at the thought] Anway, I see we have leaf cookies today, is that new? Man, I’m going to miss this shit.”
At Countrywide’s End, an Emotional CEO [BusinessWeek]

Comments (13)

  1. Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 1:09 PM

    I should have gone to law school…

  2. Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 1:13 PM

    I just dropped out…kicking myself

  3. Posted by Clown Capital | June 26, 2008 at 3:00 PM

    Bess, Kudos to you. Fantastic analogy you used there. We also would have accepted “butt-bludgeoned” or “fudge-packed” for eternity.

  4. Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 3:29 PM

    Completing this acquisition is like continuing to date Glenn Close after she’s boiled the rabbit.

  5. Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 3:31 PM

    Goddamn you are funny. Day in and day out. Incredible.

  6. Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 3:36 PM

    that was very, very funny….i can’t stop laughing.

  7. Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    Moz did not stray far from his Dad’s business: butcher.

  8. Posted by Cincinnatus C | June 26, 2008 at 9:38 PM

    haha well written….and i swear i was gonna type that before i saw all the other complimentary posts…quality stuff…

  9. Posted by StMarc | June 26, 2008 at 10:50 PM

    The weird part is, first my local bank got absorbed by BoA, then my mortgage company.
    All of their websites suck, but they suck in different ways. I look forward to suck consolidation, which will allow me to have to use only one suck workflow to attempt to pay my mortgage whilst simultaneously balancing my checkbook and Keeping The Change.
    Actually I’m not gonna sign up for that Keep the Change business. That just smells like a scam. Like we’re all going to keep our receipts and make sure it’s not “okay, the purchase was 39.88, here’s eleven cents for your savings account. Penny? What penny? Do you think we’d screw you over for a penny? I mean, we’d have to handle millions of transactions a day to make any money doing THAT.”
    M

  10. Posted by guest | June 30, 2008 at 10:31 AM

    Does someone at the Fed have photos of Ken Lewis or something? Why is this still happening? Although, BofA is in good company, major Street firms continue to deal with C’wide, can’t get off the Kool-Aid.

  11. Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 1:18 AM

    As a 17 year CHL employee I find Mr. Mozilos’ actions over the last 5 years as disgusting as anyone…. but the question is…. what about all of the speculative investors who lied about income, misrepresented their occupancy intentions and then walked when the market tanked? Or how about the government’s role in all of this? They weren’t complaining about lending policies or sub prime lending when the mortgage and housing industry combined with mortgage backed securities trading was being used to build an economy out of smoke and mirrors. There’s blame all around here but everyone seems to only be pointing at the lenders.

  12. Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 1:38 AM

    Everyone else did it once or twice, kind of like testing drugs…
    you guys made a living at the system (that makes you the drug dealer)…
    deal with it…
    Your the prostitute blaming the johns for paying for a quickie… Everyone wants to get laid, your making the cash flow from the act… accept it…

  13. Posted by guest | January 22, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    it sounds like incoming analysts from the combined MER/BAC class are okay… any more insight?