• 24 Jun 2008 at 10:00 AM

Canned? Cheer Up!

By

Unemployment got ya down? Perhaps this little bit of perspective from DealBook will make you feel better about no longer having a reason to stay on top of personal hygiene– you are not alone! Wall Street’s been laying people off for years! If you can get it together to put pants on this morning, walk over to your bank of choice, and loiter around the lobby for a bit. You’ll easily be able to find someone who was alive and working in the 70s/80s more than happy to regale you with a tale about a string of months twenty years ago when he had an excuse to pump the breaks on showering/shaving every day. You’ll feel better right quick. Or, alternatively, if masochism is more your style, and you really want to feel the pain rather numb it, allow BDSM practitioner Andrew Ross Sorkin to shove a heel up your ass. According to ARS, “It is unclear where the bottom…will be…but [it is] getting worse with each passing day.”
A History Of Wall Street Layoffs [DealBook]

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Comments (17)

  1. 1
    Posted by JimBob | June 24, 2008 at 10:08 AM

    Im going to Kinko’s to get some fake hedge fund manager cards printed. This meltdown will not stop me from having fun.

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:12 AM

    Bigger DB?
    ARS or Timmay?

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:23 AM

    Im glad to see Bess stole my Jenga joke from yesterday a few articles prior, way to be original. Jimbob, I like your attitude, now you have to come up with an incredibly douchey name to put on it

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:26 AM

    I’m at Citi…i’m at Lehman…i’m at MS…i’m at Mer..
    I’ve fallen and I can’t get up….
    Top guys want the layoffs done before the June 30 reporting period ends, which means this week will be bloody.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:30 AM

    Bess – how much do you make in a year to blog on DB?

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:31 AM

    Oh you’ll all get hired by someone and you’ll think that layoff shit won’t ever happen to you again.
    Ha. Ha. Ha.

  7. 7
    Posted by JimBob | June 24, 2008 at 10:32 AM

    @ 10:12
    Augustus T Wainwright III

  8. 8
    Posted by mrpink | June 24, 2008 at 10:32 AM

    Grand, just grand :-)
    -mrp
    BTW, I admit, I’ve let my showering lapse a bit (2 days max), except for when visiting Shake Shack in vain attempts to create my own ‘Fashion Meets Finance’ (I’ll let BL come up with a snarky name for Unemployed Seeking Finance) LOL.
    Where are all the good sugar daddies? HAHAHAHHAHAH
    -mrp

  9. 9
    Posted by lemmerdeur | June 24, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    Half of all New York Wall Street jobs will either disappear or be moved to low-cost flyover locations in the next 1-2 years.
    Half.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:36 AM

    @10:08 & 10:23
    Craven Morehead III

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:40 AM

    http://www.wnbc.com/news/16693789/detail.html?dl=headlineclick

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 10:54 AM

    Charles Festerbottom, aka yuppie douchebag is taken. Apologies-

  13. 13
    Posted by FUNdamental | June 24, 2008 at 10:57 AM

    @jimbob – I’m going to kinko’s. To fill out an application, perhaps I can help you wth your cards!

  14. 14
    Posted by Investorcluzo | June 24, 2008 at 11:16 AM

    I love how the journalists play with the numbers, it’s worse than some of the pitch books I’ve seen. bsd asr states that 83,000 have been shown the door by banks and brokerages. then he writes that “wall street” had 192,000 employees at its peak in 2007 (implying over 40% of the jobs have been lost). apples and oranges. such propoganda may spook main street, but I know that loyal db readers wouldn’t fall for such chicanery.
    @jimbob/FUN: I’m going to papyrus to print up some “nice” cards with raised letters for my new firm:
    Pierce & Pierce
    Sherman McCoy, Managing Partner

  15. 15
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | June 24, 2008 at 11:25 AM

    My wrist hurts, and I want to lay down.
    Washington Irving H.S.
    Henry Lamb, Dizzy

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | June 24, 2008 at 12:59 PM

    @ 10:08
    Frebish Dewsnap

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | June 26, 2008 at 5:45 PM

    Layoffs will continue until late 2009. If you’re in banking now, it’s time to inquire about hedge funds, proprietary trading, or private equity. It’s only gonna get worse…

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