The great spinning class fracas has drawn to a close and we're obviously all deeply saddened by the loss of daily updates on everything that went down between hedge fund manager Stuart Sugarman shouting affirmations like "You go girl" at himself and broker Christopher Carter being acquitted for throwing Sugarman, still seated on his bike, into a wall. But, God willing, there may be a new, even more entertaining working out-related tiff on the horizon. This time it's between CNBC anchor Joe Kernan and on-air editor Charlie Gasparino.
Earlier this morning, Kernan shared with his Squawk Box co-hosts that Gasparino "grunts in the gym," implying that the audio accompaniment to CG's exercise routine is annoying to those within earshot (roughly, a five mile radius of the BoFlex machine). When asked by instigators Becky Quick and Carl Quintanilla if he planned to confront Gasparino about his grunting, Kernan, realizing the Rego Park shitstorm he'd just walked into, wisely declined and awkwardly joked, "then I'd have the herniated disc," probably making a mental note to deny having ever brought up Gasparino's audible bench pressing and to bribe a PA to erase the footage. But it was too late.
You see, Dear Readers, we here at DB are bored out of our skulls with stories about proxy access, auction-rate securities and Libor. We need pulp. Trash. Running stories about cheesy, sweaty, swarthy, vaguely homoerotic masculine tension to keep us going. So, we placed a call to Gasparino, to see if he any thoughts on the matter. Here's what he had to say:
"Joe is a little intimidated by me. Every time Joe sees me in the CNBC locker room, half naked with a towel around my waist and my tattoo* showing he gets a flash back from a prison movie. Joe's workout is 2.7 miles every other day on the treadmill."
If that doesn't say "I am doing extra reps in preparation to gut you like a fish, you'd best start packing," I don't know what does. Oh, and re: Carter's acquittal, Gasparino had no comment.
*Apparently a lion cub on the right shoulder
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 10:38AM
what's the correct spelling of macheesemo?
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 10:40AM
"he gets a flash back from a prison movie"
1) how does he know exactly what kind of flash back (if any) that Joe gets?
2) that is all to creepy to think that CG actually wants to be one of those bad mofo's in a prison movie who gets some cocktail (fruit) from the fresh fish
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 10:52AM
Are you implying that ChuckPony uses a BoFlex?
My bet is on olympic style powerlifting followed by 30 min sauna sessions while wearing a wetsuit.
-SD
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 10:54AM
More about proxy access, or even Carney going on about commodities trading in Byzantium, and less about these two palookas tossing each other's salads, please.
Posted by blndebnker , Jun 03, 2008 10:59AM
@10:38 - Machismo.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Jun 03, 2008 11:05AM
Tout au contraire. He's a fan of the meat cooler, slugging carcasses and doing pull-ups using the hooks. I've seen him at Carbone's Meatpacking in Howard Beach, munching provolone while doing one-handed pushups with a newport behind his left ear. Good man, bad date.
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 11:05AM
Nooooo to proxy access.
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 11:32AM
Machiatto
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 11:34AM
I nominate Carter for a cheesesteak.
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 11:43AM
@ 11:34, seconded!
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 11:50AM
You will not find a more deserving cheesesteak recipient than this man
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 11:58AM
About the tattoo, too much information.
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 12:25PM
when Charlie flexes his back, the lion roars.
Posted by Johnny , Jun 03, 2008 12:43PM
Carter should DEFINITELY be a sandwich contender..!!
Hell... if you know where to find him, i'll send one myself. The article mentioned he was a broker of some sort. There's a Christopher Carter at Garban over in Jersey City (from bloomberg). Could it be...??
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 12:59PM
It is alleged that Charlie has Dean Martin's image tattooed on his left butt cheek and Frank Sinatra on his right butt cheek....but the Cavuto in between them is the best, it is said.
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 3:39PM
yes, SD & LA are both correct.
Gasp circuits the meat locker w/ super-sets of heavy squats and bench with 3 spotters.
The two-man squat, with man-spot from behind, (duel grunting) is a crowd pleaser.
then steam/ mortadella.
-retail
Posted by guest , Jun 03, 2008 4:56PM
Do you guys seriously have Gasparino on speed dial? Cuz that's hardcore.
Posted by guest , Jun 05, 2008 7:09PM
would someone at that organization tell dennis to shave. the patchy hair look is long gone. thanks
Posted by guest , Jun 05, 2008 7:09PM
would someone at that organization tell dennis to shave. the patchy hair look is long gone. thanks
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 05, 2008 7:51PM
@ 7:09
I see your comment, and raise you a "would someone at that network kick dennis off. that 'i don't know wtf i'm talking about' thing is long gone"