Layoffs Watch '08: Credit Suisse To Can Both Essential And Non-Essential Employees At Some Point In The Future

The Post reports that the marginally more successful, slightly less tax-evading Swiss bank in town plans to distribute a handful of pink slips in investment banking, probably around the time it mentions a sizable writedown with its second quarter earnings, though the "exact timing could not be learned." The cuts are said to cover high-yield sales and trading as well as leveraged loans, and hack away at "muscle, not just fat."


CREDIT SUISSE HEADS BACK TO THE CHOPPING BLOCK [NYP]

Comments

1

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 9:55AM

that's gotta be a fun way to start your day- reading you're about to be canned on your way to work.

2

Posted by american bandersnatch , Jun 20, 2008 10:03AM

You know things are bad when you have to terminate your essential employees. Kinda like donating both your kidneys; long-term outlook not so good.

3

Posted by american bandersnatch , Jun 20, 2008 10:04AM

You know things are bad when you have to terminate your essential employees. Kinda like donating both your kidneys; long-term outlook not so good.

4

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:23AM

Credit Suisse has no essential employees. The bygone days of Quattrone will never return. They need to be bought out. Maybe LEH and CS should merge and lean on each other for financial support.

5

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:24AM

I AM AN ESSENTIAL WORKER!

6

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 11:02AM

Yes...Lehman and CS merging would kind of be like Bear and Enron merging...like the bottom feeders merging with Plankton...ironic.

7

Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 20, 2008 11:53AM

Turn 11 Madison into condos. I'll take a floor-through, park-facing.

I've already got my stated-income, no-doc option-arm 110% ltv mortgage lined up, too!

8

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 11:58AM

yeah, if the Swiss fire all these kids, who is going to polish the insides of shell metal casings? how else are they to polish the inside of a 45mm casing?

you tell me.

9

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:01PM

The CS boys have hot feet...love to see them in their loafers without socks!

10

Posted by hedgehog , Jun 20, 2008 12:16PM

LEH and CS merger? That is the worst fucking idea I've heard since I last watched a Cramer lightning round. You'd have more luck tying two rocks together and seeing if they float.

11

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:18PM

LEH and CS would be the perfect merger. Cultures collide, but performance would improve exponentially.

12

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:19PM

@12:18 - I concur.

13

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:34PM

" Cultures collide, but performance would improve exponentially"

it is proven that this combination is impossible on Wall Street

14

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:35PM

You really thing CS-First Boston-DLJ-Lehman will be any better than CS-First Boston-DLJ?

Good luck with that one.
s75

15

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:36PM

@12:34 - I disagree. Maybe not thus far, but if the banks approach it with an open mind, we would see great synergies.

16

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:38PM

@12:36. yup, things will be different this time. it's a new economy. housing prices never go down.

17

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 1:41PM

LEH and CS merging? That's like two drunks trying to hold each other up.

18

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 1:59PM

We get it! It's a bad idea. Just please, for the love of god, stop with the lousy metaphors.

19

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 2:24PM

the fatter they are the fatter they fall.

20

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 2:31PM

LEH and CS merging? No way it could happen, that's like a two headed dinosaur trying to kill harry potter with hermoine by his side whispering Machiavellian ramblings in a desert full of black sand

21

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 2:34PM

what's with the lack of love for CS? lol

22

Posted by Old Sneep , Jun 20, 2008 2:45PM

Favorite oxymorons:

Jumbo Shrimp
Humane War
Essential I-banker

Get ready to have that sphincter violated!

23

Posted by Old Sneep , Jun 20, 2008 2:49PM

Absolutely looooove how the article comps CS and Washington Mutual. That's what this hifalutin wall street career has become?

24

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 2:53PM

Here are some other financial mergers i am also sure will happen. Natural synergies. Yadda yadda.

USB buys FNM
TROW buys CIT
NLY buys ZION
NCC buys GS

25

Posted by big r , Jun 20, 2008 3:34PM

CS has done horrible in past "mergers". They wouldnt do it for fear of more talent departures. CS is content to stay quiet while UBS bleeds in the streets for all to see.

26

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 4:18PM

CS needs to merge with ML, LEH, or UBS to survive.

27

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 4:20PM

LOL

omg really 4:18 this gets better and better.

you are aware right that CS actually have over 300 billion in deposits no?

28

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 5:06PM

Actually - who cares? Unless you work for CS. I won't be shedding any tears. Should've taken the money and stashed it away rather than over leveraging it personally ....basic principle of investing is that things (including career prospects) can go down as well as up...Unfortunately because the young 'smart' guys only know that people have had it so good they weren't prepared for a bear market - how smart are they?

29

Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 5:26PM

I agree guest....very easy to trade a bull market and take the dollars and think you are worth it - I personally am glad there is a clean out of so called 'muscle' ...who have probably been in the market 5-7 years..wow! So no Asian crisis, no Russian crisis with Long Term Capital.....as you said, I won't shed any tears either....

30

Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 11:15AM

CS is in a lot better shape then other firms on the street

31

Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 11:22AM

Goldman needs to merge with Wachovia to survive

32

Posted by Headless Horseman , Jul 17, 2008 12:35PM

@ 1:59

I think the word you were so blindly grasping for was "simile" as opposed to the one you mistakenly selected (metaphor).

Similes denote an explicit comparison and can often be identified by the usage of "like" or "as." Metaphors typically assert the comparison more directly by saying something "is" something else.

Simile: Your criticism of other thread posters has as much credibility AS an ethics in lending lesson from Angelo Mozilo.

Metaphor: Your command of high school level English IS shit.

33

Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 12:58PM

Anyone knows what bonuses where for second and third year analysts? Not sure why they only post first years' bonuses.

34

Posted by guest , Aug 17, 2009 4:32AM

WATCH BOXES
MONT BLANC PEN
ALAIN SILBERSTEIN
ANONIMO
A.LANGE & SOHNE
AUDEMARS PIGUET
BAUME & MERCIER
BELL & ROSS
BLANCPAIN
BREGUET
BREITLING
B.R.M
BURBERRY
BVLGARI
CARTIER
CHANEL
CHAUMET
CHOPARD
CHRISTIAN DIOR
CHRONOSWISS
CONCORD
CORUM
DEWITT
EBEL
FENDI
FRANCK MULLER
GERALD GENTA
GLASHUTTE
GRAHAM
GUCCI
HARRY WINSTON
HERMES
HUBLOT
IWC
JACOB & CO.
JAEGER LE COULTRE
LONGINES
LOUIS VUITTON
MAURICE & LACROIX
MONT BLANC
MOVADO
OMEGA
ORIS
PANERAI
PARMIGIANI FLEURIER
PATEK PHILIPPE
PAUL PICOT
PIAGET
PORSCHE DESIGN
PRADA
RADO
RICHARD MILLE
ROMAIN JEROME
ROGER DUBUIS
ROLEX
TAG HEUER
TECHNOMARINE
TUDOR
U-BOAT
ULYSSE NARDIN
VACH. CONSTANTINE
VERSACE
ZENITH

Post Your Comment